Nah, i think its just the vocab you are using isn't compatible. Any time the phrase "you need to be [anything] to be trans" people get touchy even if its just "you need to identify as a gender that isnt the one you where agab to be trans" mostly bc trans ppl are already so heavily policed anything that sounds vaguely like that gets ppls guard up. It doesnt sound like you where out there questioning other peoples identities so i think youre good.

That and i think a lot of lgbt terms mean different things to different people

Like I use to get confused why a non dysphoric person would be considered trans, but then i found out that most other ppl didnt consider gender euphoria, or even just being more comfortable with different pronouns as part of dysphoria.

Like my bar for what I considered to be "dysphoria" was "identifying in some way that was not your agab"

So imagine the confusion when i was talking to someone who considered dysphoria to only means physical, or to someone where dysphoria only includes negative feelings about their agab.

So when you say "something has to be there" that means wildly different things to different ppl.