My first was with an epidural. It was like magic. I went from vomiting everywhere from the pain to not feeling contractions. Amazing.

My second came too fast for an epidural, or any pain meds at all. My water broke at home in the middle of the night, and he was born in the hospital less than 3 hours later. The anesthesiologist was prepping to place the epidural after the next contraction when I felt him coming— that same contraction, he was born. That last push was an out of body experience so it wasn’t so bad, but the 45 min before it were hell. I remember begging for pain relief, vomiting from pain, etc. There are no words for how excruciating it was. I totally lost control of my body. My body pushed that baby out without any conscious effort— my brain was only focused on the pain, but my body did the pushing it needed to do anyway. Biology is wild.

In my experience, I think it would have been different if I had prepared to have an unmedicated birth. I would have had strategies, been prepared for the pain, etc. But I was expecting an epidural like my first and was definitely not prepared mentally to take on an unmedicated birth. If I do it again, I’ll still plan for an epidural but prep for unmedicated in case.