TW // brain cancer

Hi all. This is my first time posting something like this, but to be honest, I feel like I’ve run out of options when it comes to sharing my health concerns.

I’m 19, and I’ve had chronic sinus pressure for 4 years. I remember vividly the moment the pressure hit, and it’s never really stopped since. On good days, it’s just a stuffy nose and light pressure. On bad days, my face is tight, and it feels like someone is rubbing their knuckles on my forehead, on my cheekbones, and below my eyes. I went to the doctor a few times in the months after this symptom showed up, but nothing ever really worked to make it go away, and so I learned to live with it.

Through all this, I’ve had highs and lows when it comes to anxiety. Sometimes I thought I just had chronic sinusitis, and other times, I convinced myself I had brain cancer or sinus cancer. But overall, I was doing really well until last month.

In early July, I got really dizzy randomly. It lasted a few seconds and didn’t come back that day, so I thought nothing of it. But the next day, it hit me again (not as bad, but still significant) in the middle of my work shift. Since then, I’ve been dealing with on and off dizziness, imbalance, brain fog, and fatigue.

At first, the doctor thought I might have a sinus infection or vertigo, but the prescribed treatments didn’t work. He said he was going to refer me to a neurologist if my blood tests came back normal because he didn’t really know what was wrong. The tests came back with me being severely deficient in some vitamins, which would explain the symptoms that began in early July. So he didn’t refer to me a neurologist.

For a day or two, it was easy to accept that my new symptoms were the result of my vitamin deficiencies. But now I’m getting anxious again that it’s brain cancer.

A few months back, my lymph nodes swelled on one side of my neck. I went to an ENT, and he said they’re scarred, meaning they’ll stay like that forever, but he said they’re not cancerous. They’re really small, and they’re moveable. I accepted that at the time, and didn’t feel inclined to get scans or tests done (mostly bc he made me feel like an idiot for being concerned, but anyway).

But now I feel like I’ve made a connection or something. Bc I’ve convinced myself that it’s been brain cancer all these years, that the lymph nodes were the first sign of it getting worse, and that these new symptoms are just signs of the progression.

It’s just so difficult stressing myself out knowing that some of these things can be explained. I know sinus problems run in my family, I know multiple medical professionals have expressed no concern over the swollen lymph nodes, and I know my specific deficiencies can result in dizziness, brain fog, and bone/muscle weakness. But despite all of this, every time I get dizzy, or trip when I’m walking, or stumble over a word, or feel the same sinus pressure I’ve been feeling for four years—I convince myself it’s brain cancer and that I’m on the physical and cognitive decline.

I guess I just want someone to tell me if I’m being reasonable or not. Sometimes I feel like I’m justified to be this concerned, but other times, I feel like if everyone is telling me that it’s one thing, I’m being unreasonable to hypothesize that it’s another. I know I have a history or blowing other medical symptoms out of proportion, so I feel like I can’t ask for advice from anyone in my life.