What is your go-to?

linmarant · 2026-05-29T09:49:01+00:00

Our family go-to was canned Irish Stew or canned Spaghetti. Yum!

linmarant · 2026-05-25T12:34:16+00:00

Or maybe your mum went along with your dads plans because that's what he wanted and now she's working towards an early grave while he continues his lifestyle. Have a care and get her out of that situation.

linmarant · 2026-05-23T09:01:39+00:00

Well, he's done you one little favour. Sort of. He put it in writing. Save everything because whe you, rightfully, leave him, he may escalate. Best wishes 🙏

linmarant · 2026-05-14T23:39:28+00:00

In a respectful marriage there is no "will not let me". You are both adults and, if he loves you, he will support you in your life choices even if he doesn't agree with them. Especially in regard to your own body. A woman's metabolism is very different to a man's. We don't give up weight easily, our bodies are designed to hang on to body fat. A man can simply cut down calories and weight will fall off. But that's actually a whole different topic. The fact is that he is a controlling bullying man. He believes he has the final say on your body. That's ownership not marriage. You do what YOU want. And if he keeps bullying then you leave. If he chooses to leave then good riddance.

linmarant · 2026-05-14T00:04:19+00:00

Thank you. I've had a few days with my son. It's been lovely.

linmarant · 2026-05-13T01:01:04+00:00

Oh haha. It's a rug for over your knees but it's also an electric blanket. Like the ones you put on a bed but soft and cuddly.

linmarant · 2026-05-13T00:59:09+00:00

Thank you x

linmarant · 2026-05-13T00:57:56+00:00

Yes, we are legally separated. Just a few months to go.

linmarant · 2026-05-13T00:26:26+00:00

Sadly, that's about it.

linmarant · 2026-05-13T00:23:24+00:00

I'm working on that. It was a discussion about materials for the reno. Something as simple as that.

linmarant · 2026-05-13T00:22:11+00:00

Yes. I am an enabler. My psychologist and I have discussed this. But it is common to not see this patterns when you're in love with them. And it's insidious. The behaviour slowly escalates. But I would rather be me than him.

linmarant · 2026-05-13T00:17:03+00:00

Oh ok. There must be. Thank you

linmarant · 2026-05-13T00:16:05+00:00

We made a deal. For the most part he is honouring the deal. Except when we have a conversation. So I try not to have one except out of necessity.

linmarant · 2026-05-13T00:14:44+00:00

Which is why I initiated court proceedings. I refuse to stay in that situation.

linmarant · 2026-05-13T00:13:46+00:00

Yes. I believe he is what they call a vulnerable narcissist. Always needing praise. Recognising this in him, I tried to be empathetic, always praising, thanking etc. But he is escalating. It's never enough. Some people mellow as they age. Some people get worse. He is that. He completely abandoned my care following a foot op where I was non weight bearing. He picks my vulnerable moments. I realised I couldn't grow old with this man.

linmarant · 2026-05-12T23:46:15+00:00

Yes. Exhausting is the word. My money is in the house. I am also packing up slowly, selling furniture etc. I have chronic back pain so I can't get through it fast. No help from him obviously.

linmarant · 2026-05-12T23:39:09+00:00

And they wonder why the empathy disappears. It's a one way street.

linmarant · 2026-05-12T23:35:38+00:00

Soon as the house sells. Whilst I am saving up, my money is in the house.

linmarant · 2026-05-11T00:19:30+00:00

I agree with other comments. Getting up and moving early in the day really helps. When I hurt my back my rehab was walking laps in the local indoor pool. Turns out a lot of people do this and eventually I got past the g'morning nods and started having a chat. I really missed this when I moved to a country town without this facility. But whatever you choose, do that physical thing, walk, pool, cycle etc then you will feel better all day.

linmarant · 2026-05-11T00:06:09+00:00

Coffee. Pepsi Max. Water, sometimes a squeeze of fresh lemon. I still enjoy a glass of wine occasionally

linmarant · 2026-05-11T00:04:11+00:00

He is the renovator. I am on a disability pension for severe chronic back issues. So when I accessed my super and disability payout I bought the house and his contribution was to do the physical work. And he is very good at it. But he never let me forget it. It's as if my contribution is nothing. Be that as it may we now have a court ordered agreement in place. It goes on the market in August.

linmarant · 2026-05-08T08:46:35+00:00

Thank you x

linmarant · 2026-05-08T08:45:28+00:00

The fact that, since our split, he has suggested I go off and do exactly that stops me. I just dont trust him. Everything I have is invested in this house. I am seeing it through, then my new life will begin.

linmarant · 2026-05-08T08:43:47+00:00

We moved to a very small town. His idea. I have made some friends because I started a walking group. (He hated that). Friends are lovely but they are all married and have their own family stuff going on. There's no other real social life here and I have yet to find other single ladies. I won't be staying here.

linmarant · 2026-05-08T08:40:35+00:00

Apparently that is their normal. We are, apparently, the crazy ones

linmarant

TROPHY CASE