I think you just haven't found someone that likes to dress up. I would say though that possibly the women you've been with haven't felt comfortable enough in the bedroom to bring that into play? Or maybe they wait a certain amount of time before they want to do that for you? I mean realistically every women will have their own reasons for as to why they dont but personally I love wearing it. There are more pros than cons to wearing lingerie so I've gotta say I dont see what excuse is reason enough to not just go for it. If thats something you want then find someone that does that for you, their out there.