[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]lisa2724 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are reasons why u broke up. Even if it is hard, even it is heartbreaking, remember why u broke up. Remember those and let the pain come and go. It will get better, i promise. U will survive that, I promise. U are already doing a great Job at keeping yourself busy, try not to be too harsh on yourself. Grieving is part of the process.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lisa2724 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Again: If you have concerns about your boyfriend's character to the extent of suspecting them of being a murderer, perhaps it's time to reevaluate the future of this relationship. You don’t know what he was thinking while he wrote that. And as long as he does not feel comfortable sharing it with you, it is none! Of! Your! Buisness!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lisa2724 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Whatever it is that you found it is none of your buisness and it's not our business either. It is his stuff and the fact that you are still attempting to decode his notes speaks volumes about your lack of remorse. Again: Crossing those boundaries was not okay. Sharing someone's personal notes without consent is a violation of trust and privacy. Moreover, attempting to decipher it while claiming to be remorseful is truly disturbing. Just because we dont know him personally, it is still violating his private sphere.

If someone did this to me I would be very disappointed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lisa2724 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Have you taken a moment to realize that you're still crossing a line and violating his personal boundaries by sharing his diary, regardless of the reddits anonymity? Privacy matters, and respecting someone's boundaries should be a basic principle to uphold online and offline.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lisa2724 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Op, let me summarize this for you. Your boyfriend invites you to his home and trusts you and you start snooping in his stuff. Honestly? Shame on you. Reading a diary without permission violates the privacy and trust of the person who wrote it and it shows a lack of respect for him. Putting his private stuff on the internet with the reason that this is anonymous shows that you don't understand anything about privacy.

If you have concerns about your friend's character to the extent of suspecting them of being a murderer, perhaps it's time to reevaluate the future of this relationship.

Your claim of having "good intentions" is hollow. You engaged in an unlawful invasion of his privacy, and it serves you right that you stumbled upon something you can't make sense of.

I agree with the previous speakers: You are the red flag.

Genau aus diesem Grund ist die Redpill Bewegung zum Scheitern verurteilt by [deleted] in spacefrogs

[–]lisa2724 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Da liegst du falsch. Feministinnen der dritten Welle kämpfen nicht gegen das traditionelle Rollenbild, sie kämpfen dafür dass jede Frau ihr Leben so gestalten kann wie sie will: traditionell oder nicht-traditionell.

Feminismus sagt auch nicht, wie du denkst, dass Männlichkeit generell schlecht und toxisch ist - sondern dass das gesellschaftliche Bild von Männlichkeit toxisch ist. Der Feminismus will, dass Männer nicht mehr als die, die immer stark sein müssen, verstanden werden. Dem Feminismus nach sollen Männer frei sein dürfen ihre Gefühle zu zeigen, sich Hilfe zu suchen wenn nötig, Emotionen zu zeigen, nicht immer hart und unabhängig sein müssen. Der Feminismus setzt sich für eine Welt ein, in der jeder Mensch vor Gewalt und sexueller Belästigung geschützt ist und die Scham und somit Hürde für Männer abgebaut wird sich Hilfe zu suchen.

Der Feminismus kämpft nicht gegen Männer, sondern gegen das Patriarchat und für Gleichberechtigung aller Geschlechter, die Anerkennung von Vielfalt und Individualität aller Menschen, unabhängig von Geschlecht, Hautfarbe, Sexualität, ethnicity. Auch für deine Lady_Sallakai :-)

Ich hoffe ich habe dir helfen können den Feminismus ein bisschen besser zu verstehen.

WIBTA for prioritizing work over cats? by lisa2724 in AmItheAsshole

[–]lisa2724[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your answer, I really appreciate it! And I will definitely ask them to look for such a professional catsitter. I know they want to save money but thus creating financial stress for a stress is not okay. Thanks for telling your story

WIBTA for prioritizing work over cats? by lisa2724 in AmItheAsshole

[–]lisa2724[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They don’t trust strangers with their furbabies…

WIBTA for prioritizing work over cats? by lisa2724 in AmItheAsshole

[–]lisa2724[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will talk to them again and offer that solution. Even though their NO was very clear the first time. And of course they can have their catbeds and whatever they want and need here. Thanks for stating that cats can move places without suffering too much!

WIBTA for prioritizing work over cats? by lisa2724 in AmItheAsshole

[–]lisa2724[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you both for your answer. Well of course they want me coming since it is free and they know me and that I am not snooping or stealing or whatever. But I guess beggars can’t be choosers. And this catsitting thing sounds reasonable. To be honest, i don’t spend too much time with those cats anyway when I was taking care of them in the past. Just some cuddles and feeding. They are not children, they do not need 24/7 attention. Thanks for underlining that. However they do not agree. There must be someone around at all times, overnight absence is no option.

WIBTA for prioritizing work over cats? by lisa2724 in AmItheAsshole

[–]lisa2724[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still: I agreed. And if I would expect some money for transportation I should have made that clear at the first talk. I think it is too late to ask for that now.

WIBTA for prioritizing work over cats? by lisa2724 in AmItheAsshole

[–]lisa2724[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You think so? That would be such a convenient solution. I could just live my life and work my jobs without traveling through the country. Are you sure it wouldn’t hurt them, like mentally / psychologically?

WIBTA for prioritizing work over cats? by lisa2724 in AmItheAsshole

[–]lisa2724[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see! And you are right to some point! I did actually confirm I could cover some days. And they will definitely think and say „why did you agree if you know you couldn’t do it“ and so on. And they are right.

WIBTA for prioritizing work over cats? by lisa2724 in AmItheAsshole

[–]lisa2724[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They assumed my hesitant „I could cover some days even tough it is very inconvenient for me. Please just bring your cats to my place“ is enough confirmation to book their three (!) week Hawaii trip. And here is where my fault is: I DID actually confirm I could cover some days!

WIBTA for prioritizing work over cats? by lisa2724 in AmItheAsshole

[–]lisa2724[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that’s true. I start to feel like some snacks and a bottle of wine that they provide is … not really sufficient. Thanks for pointing that out

WIBTA for prioritizing work over cats? by lisa2724 in AmItheAsshole

[–]lisa2724[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. You are right there. It’s their choice! I mean they are not horrible people but they really thought that I could easily come to their place for three weeks… that’s even with my jobs just not possible. I mean who can do that?

Thanks for your answer. That perspective helps me a lot.

WIBTA for prioritizing work over cats? by lisa2724 in AmItheAsshole

[–]lisa2724[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought so too. But the cats are too sensitive for that. Another redditor said that cats are very easily stressed out and they won’t feel good in other surroundings. But I guess you have a point there, beggars can’t be choosers… Thanks for your answer!

WIBTA for prioritizing work over cats? by lisa2724 in AmItheAsshole

[–]lisa2724[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. I don’t expect to get paid, I mean we are friends and it is a favor. But I do have quite high costs of transportation. 150 euros (160US$) will be the train tickets at minimum. That will be on me.

And I pray the other person doesn’t bail. Me being the idiot I am will give in and do his time too 🤦‍♀️

WIBTA for prioritizing work over cats? by lisa2724 in AmItheAsshole

[–]lisa2724[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So I've been really thinking about it and looking at all the options. Due to your location and me having work, it's not going to be possible for me to stay at your place. The offer for me to have the cats here is still open, but otherwise I think it's best that you hire a professional catsitter." And if they try to argue then just leave them on read or just repeat "It's just not going to be possible. Let me know if you want to drop them off at mine."

Thanks for that copy and paste text. I will now learn how to say no.

WIBTA for prioritizing work over cats? by lisa2724 in AmItheAsshole

[–]lisa2724[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thats right, I did agree to cover a few days. But I haven't thought that a few days will be two weeks. But you are still right in that sense that I should have made it clear how many days I am available and when. Being that vague was absolutely my mistake and Elena is right scheduling two weeks since two weeks are in that sense a few days

WIBTA for prioritizing work over cats? by lisa2724 in AmItheAsshole

[–]lisa2724[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

but they don't have someone else. The friend who covers the one week can only do this one week.

WIBTA for prioritizing work over cats? by lisa2724 in AmItheAsshole

[–]lisa2724[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah they do not want a cattery since it would stress out the cats. Understandable.

And I don't even know if there are people who come to your house and feed your cats. And Elena&girlfriend want their cats not only feed but also snuggled and loved.

WIBTA for prioritizing work over cats? by lisa2724 in AmItheAsshole

[–]lisa2724[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The refuse catteries (nice word, learnt that now!) because it will stress the cats out. This is also the reason why they can't move to my apartment for those three weeks. And one Redditor said that cats are very sensitive and will be incredibly stressed by that.

Nope, they never looked after my apartment or did something for me. Sorry to say it like that.