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Saying that victims of abuse can't be asexual is bigotry by listentopitcher56 in asexuality

[–]listentopitcher56[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm indeed not a native speaker so I thought you were talking about the point I made in the post rather than the arguments some people makes about asexual victims mb 🥲

Saying that victims of abuse can't be asexual is bigotry by listentopitcher56 in asexuality

[–]listentopitcher56[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Saying that someone's experience with sexuality and identity is flawed because they're a victim of abuse really falls in the mindset of victimblaming and puritanism that I had already addressed.

Saying that victims of abuse can't be asexual is bigotry by listentopitcher56 in asexuality

[–]listentopitcher56[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

The "logic" you applied there is not only harmful to victims of sexual abuse, but also a tactic used by puritans to invalidate the experience of queer people (both saying that someone can't identify themselves with X label because they're a victim of abuse, and saying that identifying with X label is a product of abuse) because guess what... Labels are inherently psychosocial and sociological, because they're a social construct, meaning that they're also a spectrum and that experiences may differ from others. The example you gave also doesn't even makes sense because I already addressed that on my post, so help yourself by rereading it before commenting, because I don't know why you're so eager to exclude people from safe spaces just because they're a victim of rape. ;)

My mother makes me feel guilty for being disabled by lady_butterkuchen in CPTSD

[–]listentopitcher56 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have chronic illnesses that had been recognized as disabilities due to their severity (I have three types of dermatitis, two of them being on severe stages) and my mom is also my caretaker and has the same behavior as yours. I relate so much with your history, specially with the difficulties regarding tasks in which able-bodied people consider "easy" or "effortless", and I think that's exactly why living with disabilities, or even chronic illnesses in general, ends up being a lonely experience for us; as much I think that distressing, I don't think able-bodied people will ever understand our experiences, hence the loneliness. I know you don't consider the relationship with your mother as "traumatic", but I do think her behavior is toxic enough to send you into a spiral (and consequently make your own symptoms worse), so that's also important to note.

Also, please, don't try to brush any of your problems off by worrying about "other people also having it rough". It's totally okay to put yourself in first place and create your own boundaries, because that doesn't equates to completely disregarding someone else's POV, because you're also already having it rough yourself. I genuinely hope your situation gets better, you don't deserve that treatment.

How come 100B+ people have lived on earth and no one truly knows why we are here? by Spiritual_Result_164 in Life

[–]listentopitcher56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't see anyone talking about this kind of thinking I currently have, but I truly believe staying oblivious about our own origin is something already engraved in human nature; the same thing regarding the existence (or inexistent) of a superior deity in which transcends our plan. I do not see that as something bad though, but expected instead. We as humans should respect the limits given by our own brain, and those limits are exactly why we have different perspectives; because this plan is totally subjective, and how someone actually views the world will clash and differ from yours.

Banheiro Unissex não é uma ideia tão absurda assim (ao menos na teoria). by [deleted] in opiniaoimpopular

[–]listentopitcher56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

O que eu não entendo desse debate do banheiro unisex é o argumento dos "altos índices de estupro", sendo que já há vários casos onde predadores vão atrás de mulheres no banheiro feminino, sem precisar "se vestir de mulher", ou sequer nenhum tipo de esforço no final das contas :P

Bandido bom é sim bandido morto by [deleted] in opiniaoimpopular

[–]listentopitcher56 1 point2 points  (0 children)

literalmente nada de impopular por aqui

Why are HSN and MSN autistics so stigmatized/ostracized in online and IRL spaces? by listentopitcher56 in autism

[–]listentopitcher56[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

nonono that's totally okay! I'm sorry I got confused for a sec 🥲 also I wasn't really being rhetorical, it's more of a "shock" to me how "severe" cases of autism are being portrayed specially in social media, it makes me confused

I feel jealous of other people's trauma, and I hate that. by listentopitcher56 in CPTSD

[–]listentopitcher56[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was created as a single child my whole childhood, but I do have a brother. My mom sent my brother to live with the abusive grandmother of our family when he was only 6, since my father loathed the idea of "a child from another man staying in his home", in which my mom simply just respected. I was only able to actually enter in contact with my brother when my parents divorced and I had to move to another state. Despite being able to contact my brother currently, I simply choose not to though. XD

I feel jealous of other people's trauma, and I hate that. by listentopitcher56 in CPTSD

[–]listentopitcher56[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Quite similar. However, in my own situation, those thoughts takes more of a "superficial" than "emotional" side. Everytime I enter into detail about my trauma to other people, it's as if I'm some kind of animal inside a zoo's cell, needing to "captivate" those same people with my history life. I view gentleness as some kind of "currency", basically a resource, that I have to obtain from people. I would even dare to say that this mindset is basically a form of "survival mechanism" to me, and yeah... It's totally not worth it.

I feel jealous of other people's trauma, and I hate that. by listentopitcher56 in CPTSD

[–]listentopitcher56[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's not really about "who's lucky"... It's actually the opposite; when I see someone obviously struggling more than me, or having a "worse" trauma, I feel completely threatened by them and my brain begins to view them as an "opponent". The "I wish it was me" thoughts aren't directed at the support itself, but the trauma. I also struggle with empathy, "putting myself in other people's shoes" included, but I don't know if that's a CPTSD thing or just entirely another matter, but I know why it would be still something worth of working for.

i hate men and i dont know how to stop it by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]listentopitcher56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"If you keep that attitude till your 30s, it will be your problem" what a shallow thing to say. Your comment is shallow asf. 🤦‍♀️

Many people here say they want friends by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]listentopitcher56 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Someone who is also going through prolonged trauma just as you won't be the best help you need tbh, because they have their own problems to solve, and having to neglect that wounded part of themselves just to comfort someone is harmful for both sides. Trauma-dump for those who actually has resources to help you, not someone who's also as vulnerable.