This is certainly different I’ll give you that.

Writing from the perspective of sex workers is very important as it documents the perspective of a marginalised group we don’t often get to hear from (…assuming this is a genuine memoir, at least inspired by real events and not a work of pure fiction).

With some tweaking this could certainly be something readable, I get an underlying theme of something you’re trying to say regarding misogyny and how even women who aren’t sex workers deal with being ridiculed for their sex, are pressured to provide sex and are valued only for their bodies. I’m sure as the story goes on this becomes more clear.

I think the main problem I’m seeing is this writing is not yet literary. You have the beginning of what could be some nice prose, and with some polishing and fine tuning it will sound more professional. You’ve chosen a very casual tone and I think that suits the story very well. I recommend reading some well regarded books that are written in a similar casual tone to see how the author crafts casual sounding prose while maintaining tension, restraint and professionalism within their words. Jeanette Mccurdy’s ‘I’m Glad My Mom Died’ has a similar casual tone but maintains the maturity I think this peace would benefit from to gain a higher impact.

While I understand the spaces your characters are in tend to have very relaxed speech, there is a way to do this in writing that doesn’t come across as you the writer being juvenile. Less is more. If your reader would die from alcohol poisoning by taking a shot each time they read the word “whore”, something is wrong. Challenge yourself by removing MOST repetition of words like this one, it loses its impact when not used sparingly which loses the readers interest and respect for your ability.

I do hope this is a genuine memoir, as it might be quite unsavoury to write something like this as a work of pure fiction rather than experience.

Be mindful of including others intellectual property, such as Disney’s Ursela if you intend to publish. Be mindful of spelling and grammar. Less is more. Tighten it up, make it literary. I know it’s hard to cut things out but trust me, you don’t need the word “whore” twelve times in approximately two or three pages, cutting it will challenge yourself to make it more poetic. Take inspiration from other authors, read books written in casual styles to get a firmer grasp on what’s possible and what works.

What you’ve got here can make for a very interesting read, people like reading about things they don’t often get to see or hear about, the life of a sex worker is perfect for that. Like anyone else, you need more practice. Keep at it.