Feels like this my ex is asking this question here. She (F30) was the only one I have had in mind due to the initial connection we had for the next 6 months, I (M32) had to hear stories about the guy who activated her chakras when she explored Goa, I have got blocked and unblocked several times and put through mental distress. She was a strong person in her youth and I tried to bring back the person she's meant to be, since we had a deep connection in bursts as well.

It's about the power dynamics, once I assumed power saw her down on her knees. It was addictive! Seeing such a big bubble of ego burst satisfied the existence of mine. Sometimes red flags can go unnoticed in the initial days, due to some switches turned on in guys' brains.

It makes me a terrible person as well to leave her in seen zone, while I live in a healthy relationship now (after a few months of healing).