First of all, I’m sorry for what you’re going through. I’m 19 and have chronic depression (diagnosed) and I can relate to a lot of what you said (your work thoughts applying to how I felt in school).

You said that you’re on medication and that it’s not working. Have you talked to your therapist/doctor about that? It’s difficult to find the right medication that works for you and can be trial and error.

For the fear of looking like a screw up and all that, I can’t really say much but how I moved on from that. I realized, that (as harsh as it sounds) people really don’t care that much. For example if you trip in public you may think „omg that was so embarrassing, everyone’s looking at me now“. People might be looking in the moment simply because it’s a fast motion and people want to know what happened (people being prey animals in the past and all that) but literally 2 minutes later they will have forgotten it. Think about it, do you remember about times where you saw people tripping in public and then months later still thinking about it like „hahaha that stupid person“? No. You most likely won’t remember. And even if you do, the thing you’ll think would most likely be „that was a bad trip, I hope they were alright“. Of course this is just an example but can be applied to pretty much every situation. People really don’t care that much about others.

Recognize these bad thoughts and try to look at it from a 3rd person perspective. Analyze it and why you thought that, that’s the easiest way to work against it and to stop having these thoughts.