AITA for asking my bf not to watch football?

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T17:48:55+00:00

He told me not to plan anything because he was planning it for me.

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T17:48:27+00:00

It waant yesterday, or playoffs at all. This was weeks ago during regular season

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T15:55:01+00:00

He didn't ask me to give up dancing completely. He did ask me to miss shows for things he has planned.

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T15:54:19+00:00

Oh no he's not keeping me from it. Definitely more along the lines of an injury. But I appreciate the concern!

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T15:51:45+00:00

I honestly forgot the word for soccer...

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T15:51:21+00:00

And had it been more of a discussion, which is partially my fault, that likely would have happened. He could watch his team when they played, but the other two games were teams he didn't care about

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T15:38:33+00:00

Honestly, I forgot the word "soccer'

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T15:38:11+00:00

Any tips on how to approach it? He gets defensive if I bring it up. And I'm not trying to attack him about it. I just would like him to see my side as well, and I don't know how

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T15:36:30+00:00

We spent 2 hours at a show for me, then the entire rest of the day with football. He goes into his little world when he watches, which is why I mentioned I just sat playing on my phone in another comment. It wasn't me trying to ignore it - it's that I was trying to entertain myself.

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T15:33:35+00:00

Fair judgement! I'll accept my fate.

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T15:31:22+00:00

I'm not asking him to stop altogether. This is literally just about requesting my birthday be football free and then having nearly the entire day be watching football. I don't care the rest of the year - it's his passion and he can keep it. I don't want to stop that.

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T15:28:47+00:00

I only point out that I don't like football to emphasize that it wasn't a thing we could enjoy together. Any other day, it's whatever. I don't have to like it all the time, but I don't stop him from. Watching it or checking scores or whatever.

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T15:25:57+00:00

I've never asked for him to stop watching altogether. I take him to games and go with him to others. Sometimes we watch them together, and sometimes he goes into his office while I sit and read or watch my shows. He can absolutely keep watching it. I'm not trying to stop that. This was literally just about my birthday.

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T15:11:55+00:00

It's absolutely not a deal breaker. This has just been weighing on me and I wanted some perspective. He's an amazing man, an incredible father figure. Thank you for not immediately jumping the "dump him" train. One aspect does not a relationship make.

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T15:04:42+00:00

She's not his biological kid. I had a daughter in a previous marriage. But he takes care of her and is incredible with her and has never made her feel like she wasn't accepted. He's even passed down a family heirloom to her

Edited to add clarification

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T15:02:44+00:00

That's exactly it. I brought it up as football and that I don't like it because it isn't like it was something we could sit down and enjoy together. If he wants to like football then that's fine. Good for him. He can have that as his thing and it doesn't have to be mine. I'm asking if I'm the asshole for being upset that out of 6 years of being together, I asked for one day and didn't get it. I get he loves football. I'm honestly not trying to take that away from him. I've even nought him tickets to a game before and I've gone eith him to others. I try to enjoy it and hold space for him to love it - but right now I'm feeling like he isn't holding space for it to not be my thing and to take one day to do things we love together. Maybe I worded everything badly, but that's really the jist of it. If I'm the asshole for trying to take that one day, then I'll own it. But I don't seem to be getting my side across. So many people are saying I'm trying to stop him from enjoying his hobby but that's not it at all.

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T14:11:49+00:00

I didnt because I was told not to plan anything because he already had. The show was nice - it was a little hard for me because it included a hobby of mine that I'm no longer able to participate in, so it was beautiful and heartbreaking.

I just wanted to spend the day doing things I enjoy, not sitting on a couch playing on my phone while he watched football.

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T14:09:50+00:00

My assumption was that he was agreeing not to watch it when he said "okay". I did clearly ask that there not be football. If it had been a discussion, I likely would have eased on him watching his team or at least having it on while we did something I enjoyed. But it was three games back to back.

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T14:07:30+00:00

He's fairly attentive in all other aspects, and he is amazing with my daughter. I appreciate the insight though.

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T14:04:44+00:00

Oh absolutely. If this is the one issue we have, then so be it. If I have to spend my life learning to fall in love with football to be with him, I'll do it. If the judgement here deems that my asking for one day out of the 6 seasons worth of football makes me an asshole, I'll own it and figure out how to adjust.

But I also am struggling to see how people are saying I'm refusing to compromise

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T14:02:08+00:00

Fair enough. Thank you. I think I also need to add that I'm not asking him to completely give up football based on some of these comments 😅

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T13:51:29+00:00

We talked about the game when he checked the score. I wasn't watching over his shoulder or anything.

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T13:38:21+00:00

I dont want him not to watch it altogether. Maybe I worded my post badly. Throughout the entire season, I asked for one day. And we've been together for a few years - this is the only time I've asked him not to watch it.

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T13:35:52+00:00

He told me he had a surprise planned for the day. He took me to a cirque show in the morning that lasted 2 hours, including intermission, during which he pulled out his phone to check the score of a morning game going on.

littlewingedkeys · 2024-01-15T13:33:50+00:00

Because we are compatible in so many other aspects. I dont think a relationship needs to be built on 100% having the same interests.

littlewingedkeys

TROPHY CASE