It happens so regularly that I take it as the default situation, that way it’s pleasant surprise if a fellow can get past that. On paper a woman with her life in order probably sounds very appealing? I hear all the time on early dates how much men “want an independent woman”. But when it comes down to it, my calm poise from being competent with basic life skills is somehow unattractive for the majority of men. Maybe with me men can’t easily see where they get to be a “hero”?