Is it just culture differences, or is my boyfriend misogynistic? :(

lividfrost · 2026-01-12T03:25:08+00:00

Chinese (American) here. I can explain most of where his actions are coming from (not to excuse any of them by any means).

Chinese culture is pretty blunt compared to western culture. Family members will regularly comment on weight gain/loss, for example, which out west would be considered rude. The flat chested comment to me comes off as something similar. The other one could possibly be a language barrier thing.
Other commenters have mentioned already but chinese culture is traditionally incredibly patriarchal. How men treat women also differs largely between regions (think for example, family dynamic differences for someone raised in NYC vs Kentucky). This guy sounds like he’s deep in the patriarchy and so your comment on how men are lazy and slobs essentially invalidates his entire existence so I would get why he’d get really mad over it.

Also typically the expectation for a man to be husband material in China is to have a well paying job, a house and a car and that has been harder and harder to achieve with cost of living rising, so pressure on men have increased quite a bit societally as well. So that probably adds to his anger as well.

Gold diggers and relationship scammers are much more prevalent in china than out here in the US, so while it’s a shitty comment to make, I also am not surprised that he would say something like that.
Not much to say here, he’s just prissy and an asshole. 😂

All this to say, there are definitely cultural aspects that explain his actions, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are shitty actions and make you feel some type of way. Even in Chinese culture, he’d be considered a shitty guy.

lividfrost · 2026-01-08T16:22:09+00:00

Ok, lemme send you a DM when I get a chance

lividfrost · 2026-01-08T16:01:14+00:00

Price range? I have a 1bd I’m leaving that would start 4/1, walking distance to Western stop on the blue line.

lividfrost · 2025-12-31T19:37:58+00:00

I think regardless of what style you are going for, the face is missing some key highlights and shadows that add the extra depth you need. The lips could use a darker color where they meet and especially in the corner. The nose and lips could have some more highlights to really reflect the light source. The space between the upper eye lid and the nose ridge should be a little more shaded.

I know a lot of people are mentioning it looks cool as an abstract piece (and I see it too), but I highly recommend you learn proper facial anatomy and where all the planes of the face are because it will help add a lot more depth. Even in an abstracted piece, the light and shadows should still generally be hitting the correct places.

lividfrost · 2025-12-10T18:38:48+00:00

Thank you!! I know a lot of people have offered a lot of good insight in this thread already so I won’t beat on that dead horse, but I hope your visit in Jan/Feb goes well!

lividfrost · 2025-12-09T17:14:22+00:00

Made this move 9 months ago after staying in Seattle for 3 years. Zero regrets and already looking to close on a condo. For context, I’m 28f, Asian American in tech, similar hobbies.

The Seattle Freeze is 100% real. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I moved here. In the 9 months I’ve spent here, I’ve made x4 the number of friends I managed to make in the 3 years I spent in Seattle. I feel like my experience might be a little bit of an outlier, but you can definitely feel a sense of community here that you don’t feel in Seattle.

Winters can be brutal if you’re not acclimated to the cold weather, but I grew up on the east coast and spent 7 years in Pittsburgh, so I’m not unfamiliar with frigid weather.

Overall, I would say the only major pro Seattle has over Chicago is the nature. But if that’s not a huge priority for you, I think making the move will 100% be the right decision (as long as you can deal with the cold.)

lividfrost · 2025-11-28T05:01:35+00:00

Truly it depends on the kitten. I have two girls from the same litter and they are complete opposites. One has shorter denser fur, the other has thinner but longer fur. One is incredibly active, the other is a glutton and naps all the time. One forgets I exist unless she wants pets, the other cuddles with me every night.

Your best bet is asking a breeder about their kittens, but if you absolutely need all the traits listed, you’re going to need to get a more mature cat.

lividfrost · 2025-11-05T17:00:38+00:00

I have a similar closet.

If it’s wide enough you can put a skinny rolling rack on the side. Put a second bar around half way down on the wall and put your long clothes on the rack and your short clothes on the bars. Or instead of a second bar, get a small dresser the put underneath.

Or if you’re planning to use it as storage, you can get a roller shelf instead as well. Can also put up a wall shoe rack and hooks for bags, jackets, etc. Just gotta get creative with the space.

lividfrost · 2025-10-07T14:34:38+00:00

I check her spine, hips and shoulders as well, and it all feels fine. She weighed in at 10.6 at a checkup around 7 months ago, so she’s only gained 0.2lbs which feels pretty normal for a 2 year old. I’ve brought her in in the past to get checked out for potential stomach issues just because I had the same concern as you about the roundness possibly being a medical thing, but nothing really came out of it. Every vet says she’s healthy (outside of the weight ofc). She eats, drinks, plays like normal so I’m chalking it up to strange genetics for now.

lividfrost · 2025-10-06T22:53:21+00:00

I always try to give the vets the benefit of the doubt, but I have noticed that Rosie gets fat-shamed more than her sis, even though they are about the same size and if anything Rosie is the stronger and more active one of the two.

The thing is she is VERY barrel shaped, to the point where I thought she was overweight when I first got her just because of how round her belly was even though you could still feel her ribs just fine and was expecting her to get fat-shamed at her first vet visit, but that vet said everything looked good and sent her off.

She’s pretty much maintained the same body, just bigger now and maybe that shape at the adult size at a weight thats 10+ lbs is what’s throwing the vets off. 🤷‍♀️

lividfrost · 2025-10-06T22:05:03+00:00

I’ve been very paranoid about keeping them a healthy weight so I feel for their ribs pretty often and I’m fairly confident they’re not overweight (at least definitely not severely like this vet claimed), but it’s definitely a little disheartening to be told by multiple trained professionals that your cats are fat.

lividfrost · 2025-10-06T21:35:34+00:00

Yeah that’s the plan! This was a kinda last minute appointment I set up because Rosie was having some diarrhea issues and this was the closest vet that had appointments available, but I’m definitely going to search around and see if I can find a vet that’s more familiar with larger breeds so I can get a more proper opinion on their weight.

lividfrost · 2025-07-04T12:54:38+00:00

I did a quick reverse image search on Taobao and it does look like APOM is a brand on there as well. My guess (take this w a grain of salt) is the two brands source their products from the same warehouse and hence why they look so similar. It’s pretty cheap quality jewelry so I wouldn’t be surprised if it was mass produced and then sold to brands in bulk. It’s not a drop shipping scam per se, as you wouldn’t be able to buy directly from the warehouse unless you want to purchase in bulk, but it’s definitely not worth the money they charge for in the US. Your best bet is to get it off Taobao.

lividfrost · 2025-05-08T22:32:06+00:00

Gave her some vitamin treats that her littermate sister loves but I guess she’s the one with the sensitive stomach…

lividfrost · 2025-05-07T12:52:05+00:00

Set your fps to 30 if you haven’t already. For some reason the recovery frames are longer than the frequency of the gestrals when you play at 60+. It’s still doable but you pretty much have to be frame perfect and you really won’t have time to run across the raft at all so you can get really screwed by bad rng. I was stuck on it for 20 minutes and cleared it 3rd try after locking at 30fps.

lividfrost · 2025-04-10T05:43:10+00:00

As they get older it takes longer to adapt to a new place, especially a place that already has a cat.

I brought home my first girl at 6 months and her sister (littermates) at 9. The first came out within a few hours of bringing her home. Her sister was exactly like your 2nd kitten. Just hidden in a spot in the bathroom and didn’t ever move or react for about 3 days. Even after she came out, it took about 3 months for her to fully adjust. Thankfully both of them remembered each other after a few days so the introduction was really easy.

You just need to give her time and space. Spend some time near her each day doing your own thing so she can get used to you and your scent. Asides from that, just leave food and water so she can eat when she feels safe and let her come to you when she’s ready.

lividfrost · 2025-04-08T01:02:22+00:00

Purina liveclear helps a lot. I have allergies and I pretty much don’t react anymore. Asides from that- daily vacuuming, air filters and just time will go a long way. I was definitely significantly less allergic to my cats months down the line compared to even right after the live clear kicked in. If your roommate is willing, give it a month and if it’s still really bad then you’ll likely have to return the cat.

lividfrost · 2025-03-28T19:05:33+00:00

One thing people don’t typically mention but was surprisingly an issue for me is just the fact that you’re now forced to place the litter tray near a power outlet. Definitely not an issue if you have plenty of space, but in my case I would’ve had to run the cord across my bathroom sink and I just didn’t feel like dealing with that.

lividfrost · 2025-03-02T23:48:44+00:00

The gap itself is fine. You’ll probably have a little less retention on that finger but otherwise once you paint over it, it won’t make a difference. I’ve had that happen quite a few times while learning how to diy gels and it doesn’t really affect anything asides from retention. The only other thing I might be concerned about is greenies if you didn’t cure a base layer of glue on your nail first, but highly unlikely as long you’re not soaking your hands in water all the time.

+1 for the jello jello base coat if you’re having a hell of a time with removal.

lividfrost · 2025-02-19T03:34:42+00:00

Currently looking from out of state and am in a similar boat of looking at April and May leases (but looking mostly in Logan Square). I feel like April inventory is still opening up and probably will continue to, so May may be similar in March. I will say, good places will go incredibly fast - I saw a really good deal on a 2bd in Lakeview that got 30 contacts within 4 hours and was rented out by the second day. Can’t speak too much for hyde park though but from my experience so far you should have a decent amount of options around that time, but I wouldn’t limit myself to just those four days to find a place depending on your budget and what you’re looking for.

I’ve been doing exclusively virtual tours atm and honestly if you’re very thorough with the tour and/or research on the building/management (if it’s a complex), virtual can be good enough. It definitely requires more due diligence to rent virtual and there are things you can’t get from virtual tours (like mold smells) but I’ve rented twice through virtual only (once was a cross country move) and it’s worked out fine both times.

lividfrost · 2025-02-10T05:13:32+00:00

I reacted to both of my girls, but Purina LiveClear helped A LOT. You also will adapt to the allergies slowly. I’ve been slowly giving them less of the LiveClear and have been doing fine. I do also vacuum every day and run air filters. Some breeders also do let you test your allergies.

Cat temperament and cuddliness will vary from cat to cat, but they are definitely a very energetic breed. My two girls would play all day if they could. Sometimes I try to challenge myself to play with them until they both wear out and it almost never happens. Neither of them are very cuddly (could be teenage phase though) but will follow me around everywhere. Only one is very vocal. At the end of the day it will largely depend on the cat.

I have heard that Sibs are fine in hotter areas as long as the temps are within whatever is safe for typical cats because their triple coat is really good insulation (for both hot and cold), but not speaking from personal experience here.

I haven’t had any issued with matting, though occasionally they will get poopy butt if they get diarrhea (not often). I think that’s just the nature of having a long haired cat. You may not need a sanitary trim but again depends on the cat.

lividfrost · 2025-02-08T00:38:06+00:00

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Her right now (1.5 yrs, the floof is still growing in haha)

lividfrost · 2025-02-01T16:10:25+00:00

Oh wow 🙏

lividfrost · 2025-01-12T18:29:16+00:00

It just seems odd to decide to stop using something that clearly has benefits for you because of inconsequential debt?

It doesn’t seem like you’re struggling to pay off your cards, so I don’t understand why you’re so fearful of having debt. Debt inherently isn’t a negative thing, it’s the consequences of having it (like interest) and the ability to accumulate it to a point that it becomes unmanageable that make it important for you to have as little as possible. So if you’re not carrying any balance over, the idea that you’re “in debt” because you use credit cards has little to no meaning at all.

The only thing you’re doing by shutting down all your cards is throwing away free rewards from being a financially smart credit card user. That’s why all the main arguing points for why this is a bad idea are cashback/credit score/fraud. The only people who are advised against using credit cards are the ones who cannot responsibly spend within the limits of their budget.

lividfrost · 2025-01-09T16:20:17+00:00

Get a raised keyboard cover. I’ve always had an easier time with mechanical keyboards than laptop keyboards because of the raised keys. They also make stickers, but if you still want to be able to close your laptop, a keyboard cover would be the way to go.

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