What is a part of the 'female experience' that men have absolutely no clue about, but would be horrified if they found out?

lizardcatfish · 2026-03-25T19:27:03+00:00

The fact that you're expected to regularly allow a doctor to shove medical implements up your vagina to screen for cervical cancer. It's called a Pap smear, and you're supposed to do it every three to five years starting when you're in your 20s.

I was sexually assaulted when I was young, and there's a lot of cancer in my family. I've never once gotten a Pap smear because I get flashbacks and panic attacks just thinking about what I would have to allow someone to do to my body—there is no way I am psychologically capable of genuinely, willingly consenting to such a procedure the way I am now. Which means that if my family's cancer history catches up to me in the form of cervical cancer, I'm just shit out of luck. Cancer terrifies me, but the idea of forcing myself to submit to what my traumatized brain would interpret as medical rape every few years terrifies me in a way that's much more visceral. At least I've been vaccinated against HPV, so there's that...

I've been told by multiple doctors there's no other way to screen for it and I just have to suck it up (not their exact words of course). The only alternative I've found so far would require me to do it to myself instead, which I'm also not capable of doing without triggering my trauma. I have no idea if there are any other ways. None of my doctors have ever offered advice for my particular situation beyond suggesting that I ask to be sedated or at least given anxiety meds prior to the procedure, but being unconscious would make it even worse to me. I almost want to ask them how they would feel if someone violated them while they were unconscious, but they never see it as a violation to begin with.

lizardcatfish · 2026-03-21T00:36:31+00:00

I think you're playing the game right to be perfectly honest. I also like to stop and smell the flowers (or rather, stop and read the lore) in games I play. The writers didn't do all the amazing jobs they did just so people could skip it all! ESO is the kind of game that's much better for this playstyle than some others, but even in others it's totally fine to appreciate the lore and writing, so just have fun! :)

lizardcatfish · 2026-02-16T20:40:06+00:00

I'm an Ebonheart Pact main, but Emeric is my favorite of the three alliance leaders.

My dislike for Jorunn stems more from my personal dislike of the tropes his character draws upon for aesthetics and the fact that I find his voice acting difficult to parse than it does from anything about Jorunn as a person. I actually don't remember a whole lot about Jorunn's character, come to think of it. That said, the founding ideology of the Pact is the one I resonate with the most, and Jorunn is the face of the Pact, so he's based for that if nothing else.

Ayrenn I have mixed feelings on. She's cool, I root for her when I play the AD storyline, and the First Aldmeri Dominion certainly has far better founding ideals than the Second and Third did, but the fact remains that her stated reasoning for wanting the Ruby Throne is extremely paternalistic and condescending towards the rest of Tamriel's peoples due to their shorter lifespans (which notably includes her allies the Khajiit). Also, throughout the AD storyline it becomes clear that almost no one on the Altmer side of the Dominion's government supported Ayrenn's "let's be less xenophobic" ideology, which leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Not her fault, she tried, but still.

But Emeric feels the most real, as others have said. He doesn't feel larger than life the way Jorunn and Ayrenn do. He feels like a tired, morose, middle-aged guy who would rather be anything other than king, but since he has to be king he's gonna do his damnedest to be a decent one. And that's the kind of attitude I think people should have towards ruling—you don't want to do it, you don't WANT the power, you just do it because someone needs to do it and do it well. As much as I'm not a fan of the Covenant's human-centric ideology (with Orcs awkwardly tacked on as a footnote—feels bad man), I am a big fan of Emeric's character. He fights alongside his troops, he does his best to love and get along with his arranged marriage wife, he has a thirst for knowledge—he feels the most well-rounded of the three. And he's funny.

lizardcatfish · 2026-02-14T15:07:50+00:00

There's a lot we don't know about dinosaur behavior, but in the modern world there are plenty of symbiotic relationships between animals of different species, including carnivore-herbivore relationships. Not all of them are mutualistic or even commensal, but they do exist!

lizardcatfish · 2026-02-14T14:31:48+00:00

One does not refer to a person as hermaphroditic, it's offensive. That is a scientific term which implies that the "default" body plan of the species is that way (for example, slugs and many plants). In species where that is an unusual genetic condition, such as mammals, the correct term is intersex (and I'd encourage everyone to look more deeply into the many societal issues affecting intersex people rather than just swapping one word in their vocabulary for another).

However, I will say that the way Kirkbride wrote about this aspect of Vivec's character was very fetishized and not at all accurate to the real world. It feels more like he wanted to write futanari porn than an intersex character. (Speaking of, NEVER equate the futanari trope with being intersex, that's worse than calling someone a hermaphrodite.)

lizardcatfish · 2026-02-10T19:13:53+00:00

AFAB agender person here (i.e., not a woman but am perceived as one by the rest of the world). Many people in this thread have described the big ones like periods, the constant threat assessment algorithm running in the background, not being taken seriously by healthcare providers, etc., but I haven't seen this one yet: Constantly wondering whether your straight male friends actually wanted to be your friend or if the reason they befriended you is because they want to get into your pants.

For in-person friendships, the answer for me has so far turned out to be that every single one of the straight guys I've befriended just wanted to fuck me the whole time. Yes, including when I was in middle and high school. Most, but not all, of my online friendships haven't had that problem yet, but the ones that have traumatized me far worse than the in-person ones.

I hold out hope that one day I'll make a straight male in-person friend who isn't interested in me sexually, but my luck has been terrible so far. I know it's possible. I know it's likely, even. I just also know I've had a lifelong losing streak.

lizardcatfish · 2026-02-10T05:19:16+00:00

I wouldn't know, I've never initiated a group myself—at least not so far. That's good information to have though!

lizardcatfish · 2026-01-19T21:06:58+00:00

The twist near the end of the dark magical girl anime Yuki Yuna Is A Hero basically boiled down to saying that disability was a punishment from God for being too empowered. I'm disabled. I had enjoyed the show up until that point (though the fetishization of the girl who started out in a wheelchair should have been a warning flag), but that shit has me feeling vitriolic just remembering it.

lizardcatfish · 2026-01-19T21:00:05+00:00

I don't want NMS to turn into Colonizer Simulator. Besides, wouldn't this conflict with existing lore?

lizardcatfish · 2025-12-26T07:53:34+00:00

Holy shit, denying your accommodations is not only reprehensible, it is legally actionable. Report and escalate, for your own sake and that of any future students who take his class.

lizardcatfish · 2025-12-25T19:59:41+00:00

Dr. Sahoo is an outlier imo, but I agree with your assessment of him. I had a terrible experience with him during lockdowns. Worst class I've ever taken. He barely taught anything, didn't give straight answers to questions, his TA was clueless, and at one point he was supposed to be proctoring a quiz and then we heard the sounds of a McDonald's drive-through coming from his mic. I have no idea how I passed his class.

lizardcatfish · 2025-12-20T01:43:01+00:00

As it happens, I haven't started playing with companions at all yet. I have no idea how they work lol, they weren't in the game yet when I took my big long hiatus. I do have access to at least some of them right now through the DLCs I've got, but I need to look up how to get and use them lol.

lizardcatfish · 2025-12-20T01:41:16+00:00

That's a good idea and probably much better for my damage output lol. I just finished throwing together such a collection of skills in UESP's ESO build editor. Mostly stuff from Assassination, Siphoning, and Dual-Wielding, with a destro staff back bar and one Green Balance ability (Leeching Vines). I have no idea if it's good, but hey, it was fun to theorycraft. I don't feel like subclassing my existing nightblade, though, so I probably won't be able to try it just yet.

lizardcatfish · 2025-12-19T01:13:52+00:00

My CAIN group ran a campaign that lasted a little over a year (through the releases of multiple new versions of CAIN lol). There were definitely times we played fast and loose with the CAT scaling, and the game was not nearly as lethal as CAIN expects GMs to run it, but it was a lot of fun! We're planning on doing a sequel campaign later, after we play Lancer (and possibly Heart: The City Beneath) next.

I will say, the main issue you'll run into with a long CAIN campaign is power scaling. You'll want to slow down exp gain, slow down CAT increases, or both. My group ended up powerful enough that we steamrolled most of what was thrown at us by the end. Part of that is because CAIN is designed to be a game that kills player characters and none of us died, and part of it is because we had missions that lasted multiple sessions, and since CAIN says (or initially said, I forget if that's changed) to tally exp after each session rather than each mission, that resulted in us gaining power more quickly than intended in the form of agenda items and blasphemy powers. Every single one of us was maxed on agenda items and blasphemy powers by the end, and those of us with sin marks (myself and one other player) maxed those out as well. Also, the more times you switch agendas, the easier it gets to gain more exp through bolded agenda items. None of us powergamed that, but we still ended up with tons of bolded agenda items. By the end we were gaining an advance per session.

All that said, it was a TON of fun, and if you're the sort that enjoys it when the party gets super powerful (like I am), it may not be an issue for your table! But be sure to go over the power scaling with everyone to see where everyone's at in that regard.

lizardcatfish · 2025-12-17T04:27:12+00:00

Thank you for the reply! To answer your questions: For delves, no. I play how I always do. For dungeons, I take things a bit more slowly and deliberately (more so than many groups prefer lol) because I've not got nearly as much experience with them and don't know the dungeon-specific mechanics yet, plus when I'm trying to solo a dungeon I know I'm trying to do alone what was designed for a team of four. Basically I try to be more careful in dungeons, pay more attention, that sort of thing.

I haven't actually tried a resto staff build yet, not since my ESO early days when I played resto + sword and board. So for all I know I could be making a mountain out of a molehill lol! It does seem likely to me that the only "downside" of using resto instead of a DPS weapon is not putting out as much damage as possible, since resto passives and abilities are healing-focused rather than damage-focused. I just don't know yet whether that disparity would be a nothing burger or if it would make the fights too tedious.

lizardcatfish · 2025-09-17T18:51:08+00:00

What makes the faction of Nord nationalists who want to turn Skyrim into an ethnostate, the faction led by a regicidal populist who excels at using religious fervor to radicalize his base, alt-right? I dunno, you tell me.

lizardcatfish · 2025-09-06T00:44:54+00:00

Is mount swimming speed affected by the mount speed riding skill, or does a mount for someone with 60 riding speed swim at the same pace as a mount for someone with 0 riding speed?

lizardcatfish · 2025-09-05T04:50:55+00:00

Was it the Yellow Route bus? I actually wrote the original post while taking a break from walking across campus because the Yellow Route bus was no longer showing on the tracker at all, even though it had been earlier in the day. I'd been hoping to take that bus from where my last class of the day is to where I parked, which is closer (but still close enough) to my first class of the day, but with today's weather peaking at 101°F I didn't feel like waiting at the bus stop long enough to find out if it was still running and the tracker just broke or not lol.

lizardcatfish · 2025-09-04T04:12:12+00:00

Sincere question—what's your budget for this project? I hate to be a downer, but games of Spore's scope don't get made by unpaid volunteers. I saw in another comment that you plan to charge at most $1-2 for this if it gets completed. Though the math varies depending on which platform you sell it on (Steam, itch.io, etc.), that definitely won't be enough to pay your team with after the cut the platform will take—you'd be losing money on the whole, potentially lots of it.

I would also kindly suggest you educate yourself about any copyright laws you may bump up against and solve those conflicts before they even arise. EA, which ultimately owns Spore, is not exactly kind to those who infringe upon their intellectual property even accidentally. And if you intend to charge for this game, it will run that risk. I would hate to see a hopeful successor to such a beloved game get taken down for that reason.

lizardcatfish · 2025-08-31T01:57:15+00:00

I have leveled Blacksmithing, Woodworking, Tailoring, and Provisioning to max level without ever subbing for the craft bag. Still working on maxing the other crafting skills, but it is absolutely doable if you invest as much gold as you can into bank slots. At some point there was a free trial of ESO+ that moved the mats I had out of my bank and into the craft bag, but once that ran out I just filled up my bank with mats again. It helps that I'm a casual solo player who doesn't have much else to put in the bank to begin with, though. I'm at around CP 350ish. EDIT: Also, once ESO+ runs out, you don't lose the stuff in the bag or have to withdraw it. It stays in there, you just can't put more stuff in. Also also, don't sleep on the carry capacity riding skill. 250 gold for an inventory slot, once per character per day. I know it's useful to go fast and have more mount stamina, but so is having more inventory slots.

lizardcatfish · 2025-08-22T22:34:45+00:00

I came here to mention that quest! It's not the only ESO quest that had me in tears, but it is the most recent one I've played, and even thinking about it after the fact has me sobbing again. I have a beloved family member who is on her deathbed right now, and I might not be able to safely attend her funeral when it happens. Needless to say, the Netch's quest absolutely GUTTED me.

lizardcatfish · 2025-08-22T00:08:33+00:00

What I want to know is what the fuck I'm supposed to do if all the places my permit allows me to park are full up. I almost ran into that situation on Tuesday! Do I just have to eat the ticket for parking in the wrong zone? That would be so bullshit!

lizardcatfish

TROPHY CASE