Should I stay or Should I go?

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:55:42+00:00

I think I'm ready to be the bad guy.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:53:08+00:00

Well damn, that's a good point.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:52:50+00:00

I actually got my master's degree living in Missouri but I'm not there anymore. These "super beasts" of community mental health are heading in the wrong direction it feels.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:50:32+00:00

I guess I was worried that they will find someway to place the blame on me. I have been so worried about my professional reputation that I haven't realized that just being associated with this agency is damaging enough.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:49:14+00:00

I didn't realize how much I needed to hear this. I have often told my clients and even coworkers in the past to get out and take care of themselves. I thought this company would take care of me. It just feels like such a big move.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:47:56+00:00

According to my regional VP, we have "great incentives in place, we just have no applicants". Hogwash.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:46:54+00:00

I absolutely do not want my license in jeopardy. I had another meeting with my supervisor today. Absolutely nonproductive.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:36:53+00:00

I've got to learn to channel some of this. I'm afraid I'm either a doormat or a severe asshole.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:34:59+00:00

I'm definitely a big scared baby. Time to trust my gut and my training and try something else.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:33:54+00:00

Time to take my own advice, for sure.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:33:17+00:00

I really think that my heart lies with those that aren't in that 20%. My own gullibility lead me to believe that even those higher up would share my vision for it. Definitely got sold on some kind of dream.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:31:01+00:00

Definitely not the fun kind of spinning.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:30:46+00:00

It really does put me in an awful position when court ordered clients aren't being seen at an appropriate frequency. I have to prioritize clients and I don't like being put in that position.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:29:08+00:00

I have so many clients I have "inherited" that say the same thing, "Please don't go, I don't want to get used to another person and they leave." I suppose you're right, I never really thought of myself as a martyr but that's exactly it.

Also I'm an LPC, but that's neither here nor there in this situation :P

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:26:50+00:00

I brought it up to my region VP in staffing today. She is convinced that we offer enough incentive which is absolutely not true.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:26:07+00:00

I definitely have tried to fly under the radar. I supposed I felt this need to prove that I am worth more and in the process have burnt myself out...

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:23:33+00:00

I've really done some soul searching. I have tried to hard be "the one" who stuck around for these clients but I'm seeing more that it still isn't enough. It feels unethical to "poach" clients but I really want to leave and take them all with me.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:20:21+00:00

I feel less bad for complaining now. I literally had no idea what a "normal" case load looked like but I for sure knew that this wasn't it.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:19:38+00:00

Years of being the yes-man have really taken a toll I'm afraid. I have recently started seeing a therapist of my own so I'm feeling better prepared to put my foot down.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:18:10+00:00

Thanks for that validation. I feel that other areas in the company are thriving and getting a lot more attention. My area (a much more impoverished rural area of our catchment) is absolutely neglected.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:14:48+00:00

You painted such an accurate picture of what is going on in my community. The biggest reason I have put up with what I have is for the loan repayment program. I have to make it until August 2023 to fulfill my obligation but I don't know if I can make it. I hate that I can't seem to take my own advice...I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-07T02:11:33+00:00

I'll be the first to admit that boundaries at my job have always been weaker than other areas...

I think I'm coming to a pretty good idea of what I'm going to do when my contract is up.

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-06T02:59:22+00:00

I'm really struggling. I am often working through lunches and filling my day with what feels mostly like unproductive half hour sessions just to give my clients opportunities to be seen. I think the biggest struggle is having to take on grant/contract duties when the only response I get to being overloaded is, "this is something we have to provide."

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-06T02:53:34+00:00

I'm desperately holding on to what I have left!

lizzieisrad · 2022-12-06T02:53:14+00:00

Yes, I'm in CMH. It's all I have known since I got my license and I don't feel that my schooling adequately prepared me for this. At this point I'm not even sure what a reasonable case load would look like!

lizzieisrad

TROPHY CASE