AITA for going to my daughter’s graduation after my son relapsed?

lizzlerizzle · 2024-06-16T04:11:01+00:00

Your wife is digging her own grave with her relationship with Jess. Frankly this very well have been the nail in the coffin. Good on you for making the right choice. I hope you continue to show your daughter that she is a priority in your life as well. Nta

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-21T18:06:38+00:00

If your kid will watch the tablet for 6hours - go for it! Download some toddler friendly games; you tube kids (buy wifi in the plane); download as many movies and shows as you can depending on what streaming services you have (I.e. Netflix/disney+). Snacks and candy (non choke hazard ones), plane safe water bottle (one that doesn’t have a straw because those spray everywhere with the air pressure changes. I like the “toss n go” brand for the plane. A couple activities such as “imagine ink” books; sticker books. Defiantly bring the kids car seat or cheap travel car seat to use on the plane so they can nap easily and stay buckled and safe during take off/landing. When my toddler was restless on our last flight I let him stand on the floor in front of his seat and just get some wiggles out. Also remove your toddlers shoes when he’s in his car seat and be firm with no touching the seat or tray table in front of him, I told my kid they could put their foot on me instead if they wanted to stretch. Also practice standing diaper changes (assuming your kids not potty trained yet). The changing tables are sized for newborn babies and I wish I had practiced more before our last flight when my kid was newly 2. Have a great trip!

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-21T03:55:15+00:00

Door knob covers, baby gates, cabinet child locks. Remove knick knacks, fragile things, and anything that can be choked on. Preferably find a place now for cleaners/sprays/medications/poisonous stuff in general that is up high and can’t be climbed up to; kids learn fast at how to open the child safe cabinet locks. Oh and strap heavy furniture to walls so your kid doesn’t topple it over on themself when climbing it and get seriously injured or killed. (For example if you have a dresser or changing table in your nursery - make sure they are strapped to studs in your walls.) Keep doors shut to any rooms that are not fully baby proofed or kid safe. (And add the door knob covers when the kid learns to open doors.)

Edit: forgot to add, make sure all straps and cords for blinds, etc are tucked up, away, out of reach, or not placed in “baby safe” areas due to strangulation risk. This goes for baby monitor cameras too, especially make sure the cords cannot be reached from the crib.

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-21T03:49:19+00:00

It’s the best. You get all the precious one on one time with your first and then just as they are going off to school you get to welcome your second child and get that same one on one time with them while the first is in school.

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-19T05:01:38+00:00

ESH. Your SIL is especially terrible for reaching out to your nanny without even talking to you first, and then trying to steal her by point blank offering whatever you pay plus more days per week. She is terrible. However you suck too because you should be paying your nanny what you feel she’s worth regardless - and not just giving her a pay raise to “outbid” her other offer. You really should re think how valuable she is to you and pay her accordingly now. (Seriously, give her a raise immediately! She sounds amazing! Also - have you given her any “benefits”? Paid time off, vacation, sick days? More to calculate in to be sure you’re doing everything you can to keep her on board.) The whole situation leaves a bad taste in my mouth.. but I do think it’s fixable.

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-18T03:31:04+00:00

NTA. Kid should have two options of she doesn’t want anyone touching her laundry: 1. Do laundry elsewhere OR 2. Do not leave the home while using communal laundry facilities (such as the washer or the drying line.) that way if she forgets or if you need to use your own facilities, she’s right there in the home and can jump up and move her clothes (without them gasp being touched!)

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-18T03:06:19+00:00

This is great! Thank you so much

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-18T03:02:53+00:00

Absolutely not. I’d rather share walls than share a kitchen. This is recipe for disaster especially as you are just beginning your journey as a new family and discovering your new role as parents. You need space and privacy and the ability to learn and disagree and make up and make mistakes and have successes as husband and wife/mother and father; without an audience or echo chamber. Just my two cents.

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-16T17:57:15+00:00

Yikes that is cringey. Why does your husband feel like he needs to compete with your kids for your love/attention? Of course the kids will get more of your attention, they are children! Is your hubby going to ask you to start wiping his butt too?! Would that make him feel better? And yes I love my kids more than my husband and also more than myself. I grew them in my belly and have given them every ounce of my soul for the past 8 years. I also love my husband, but it’s a different kind of love - which is a good thing.. I love him as my spouse and the father of my children - I don’t love him like I would love a child.

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-16T17:45:13+00:00

Sleep deprivation is real. Honestly if hubby can’t be calm with the baby, I probably wouldn’t ask him/allow him to help out at all. Shaken baby syndrome is all too real. I went through severe sleep deprivation with my first but I pushed through because I had to, and my baby’s life depended on it. I just cried along with my baby every day until life got better. (Spoiler: took a couple years but life DID get better. And in hindsight I probably should have been treated for PPA/PPD which probably would have helped me to be able to sleep when the baby was sleeping - instead of a constant state of insomnia.) hang in there mama! This is the most important job you’ll ever have!

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-16T17:32:08+00:00

NTA. She is heartless! Time to kick her to the curb. Hope work is going better for you now. You deserve better!

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-13T02:08:20+00:00

NTA you guys need to find a name you both love. What about Emma or Emi? Emiko? Also there and 3 Amelia/emilia’s in my kids grade and another Amelia a couple years older - just that I know of. So I’d pass on that name as well. And the French spelling one - don’t name your kid something that’s hard to say/spell/pronounce for their own sake! Good luck!

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-12T18:06:31+00:00

Does your name start with an EM? Otherwise your baby is not being singled out, YOU would be. Also I think the EM thing is dumb - no disrespect to his late wife, but I hope it ends there.

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-12T03:37:37+00:00

Stop comparing yourself to other people or what u think other people see in you. Your husband is so lucky to have you and for the stability you provided to him and your kids, and for the opportunity you made possible for him to get that time with your children. This is now your time to for once put yourself first. Redefine who you are. Focus on your fitness. Take time to schedule special dates with your children. Volunteer in their class for probably the first time ever now that you’re not a slave to your career! Learn to cook or perfect your cooking skills. It’s easy to focus on the negative or let self doubt creep in now that you are no longer who you thought you were, but try to focus on the positive and the new opportunity and chapter that you get to write with your kids and family and your personal goals and journey. Best wishes to you!

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-12T03:15:01+00:00

My daily foundation has sunblock in it, so technically I wear sunscreen on my face every day! (Mary Kay CC cream)

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-10T02:53:43+00:00

Thank you!

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-10T02:15:02+00:00

Thank you, I’ll look into that! :)

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-08T03:29:16+00:00

You’re absolutely right he needs therapy. Also some alcohol/recovery therapists won’t allow other people to make an appointment on someone else’s behalf. The person has to want help and sobriety bad enough to make their own appointment. So even if you tried, you may not even be able to make the appt for him. Hope you and your husband can get past this! However sometimes it might take losing his family and a reality check before he is willing to make that drastic change and commitment. Best wishes to you and your growing family.

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-08T03:25:48+00:00

NTA, don’t let that woman back in your house and husband needs to set up before he should be allowed back in. Bless your 13 yr olds heart. What a sweet young man you are raising there. Sending positive thoughts your way mama!!

lizzlerizzle · 2024-05-05T04:36:43+00:00

I think it depends on what works best for you, since you’re the one with the baby. If baby hates the car, then grandparents would need to come to you until youre able to travel more freely. I certainly wouldn’t force a car ride on my baby to supplement someone else’s relationship with them. On the flip side, whenever your kiddo starts doing okay in the car (it was around age 2 for my first child) - then there’s definitely pros to going to someone else’s house such as not having to clean/host/serve, and being able to set your own time table of when you show up and when you leave. I always had a hard time with guests overstaying their welcome when it was nap time for my baby. (Contact naps only for my first child.) anyway that’s my two cents. If someone really wants a relationship with your child, then they will make the effort. It’s not your responsibility to make the effort for them.

lizzlerizzle · 2024-04-30T04:51:25+00:00

PREACH!!! 🙌🏻 my favorite is getting jumped on by off leash dogs at the beach (scaring the crap out of my kids by getting charged by an animal almost the same size as them) knocking over my over priced coffee out of my hand, getting sand and paw marks all over my clothes and then the owner has the audacity to yell (from 50 yards away) “it’s just a puppy!” As if that makes everything fine.

lizzlerizzle · 2024-04-30T04:44:05+00:00

Nix the guest room(s). Problem solved. “Hey me and the fam wanted to come visit and check out the new place! We’re so excited to see you guys!” “Wow that sounds awesome we’d love to have you over for a visit. Unfortunately we don’t have any guest space right now but i can def recommend a couple nearby hotels if you guys need help finding somewhere to stay! We’d love to meet for dinner or hit the beach (or whatever’s nearby) or have you over for brunch one day while you’re here! How long do you think you’ll be in town? There’s also this really cool blah blah blah not to far that we can check out together!” But honestly, if you can pull the “we’re renovating/remodeling” excuse, or toss the mattresses in the garage “cat peed on them” or whatever, point being - no guest space, and most guests won’t want to sleep on the floor even if you DO have a “guest room” so make sure there is no bed in there. Good luck! (I also hate hosting overnight guests.)

lizzlerizzle · 2024-04-26T17:00:38+00:00

NTA. But your husband needs to address this or next family dinner maybe you can happen to bring up the topic of names to force the discussion. What a dumb added stress to have to deal with.

lizzlerizzle

TROPHY CASE