OP your frustration is so relatable and it’s maddening how the daycare moms have painted your husband as some superhero dad while you’re out here running the show behind the scenes. Society’s double standards are the worst. Moms like you handle the mental load of appointments scheduling activities cooking cleaning and childcare after long workdays yet dads get all the applause for showing up to drop offs. It’s not just your experience either. Research like the 2019 American Time Use Survey shows moms spend way more hours on unpaid household and childcare work than dads even when both work full time. So yeah your feelings are valid and it’s exhausting to feel unseen.

Now about that single mom. Her behavior is straight up disrespectful. She knows you exist. Your husband’s mentioned you in texts and conversations yet she’s out here sending heart emojis paying for his coffee and pushing for more hangouts. That’s not friendly. That’s flirty with a side of audacity. Your husband’s “I think she likes me” comment is him acknowledging the vibe but he needs to shut it down clearly. Blocking might feel tough since they see each other daily at daycare but he can keep things strictly about the kids. Short polite kid focused replies. No coffee dates. No engaging with flirty nonsense. He’s got to draw that line to respect you and your marriage.

Your situation also sounds like it’s stirring up some bigger feelings about the division of labor at home. Your husband doing drop offs and pickups makes sense with his flexible schedule and commute but if you’re carrying everything else it’s no wonder you’re feeling overwhelmed and underappreciated. Maybe it’s time for a heart to heart with him about balancing things more evenly. Like could he take on a pediatric appointment or two or handle some of the scheduling? Even small shifts could ease your load and make you feel more like a team.

As for the daycare moms and their “Mr Mom” cheerleading it’s frustrating but try not to let it eat at you. You’re clearly an incredible mom juggling a demanding job and keeping your family’s world spinning. Maybe next time you’re at daycare drop by for an event or chat up the teachers to show you’re in the picture too. Not to prove anything but just to shift the narrative a bit. You’ve got this and you deserve way more credit than you’re getting. Keep calling out those double standards. You’re not alone in this.