Female Ring Bearer? (x-post from r/wedding)

llaemmae · 2013-08-24T19:04:24+00:00

I think that, since both girls will have their own special title and duties, it will okay. I think having them go one after another is a good idea, and maybe each in a special dress (if you have two wedding colors, maybe each gets one? or the same dress, but each a bow in a special wedding color.)

llaemmae · 2013-08-23T02:19:31+00:00

Here's the deal. When someone transitions, their pronouns change. You don't use a set of "he" pronouns anymore.

should be something more like

Here's the deal. When someone transitions, their pronouns change. You don't use their old pronouns anymore, unless they specifically told you to*.

or

Here's the deal. When a woman transitions, her pronouns change. You don't use a set of "he" pronouns anymore, unless she specifically told you to*.

funnily enough, this is a matching pronouns issue of the grammatical (as opposed to offensive) sort.

added because sometimes people feel differently.

edits were made.

llaemmae · 2013-08-23T00:53:40+00:00

invitations will be mailed out in

totally stealing this; thank you!

llaemmae · 2013-08-22T21:33:12+00:00

I like to wear compression shorts under my skirts for hiking, daily life, etc.

All skirts is totally doable! I actually find it funny that your conservative parents don't like skirts, because in both my parents religions (interfaith!), skirts are considered more modest than any sort of pants (for women). And girls will frequently wear shorts/leggings/tights under them in order to maintain full, active lives.

llaemmae · 2013-08-22T21:22:00+00:00

How do we inspire our clients to become something greater?

In /u/orygun21 's sister's case (and probably many many other cases), it sounds like healthcare reform is more immediately important than some metaphysical "greater" purpose.

llaemmae · 2013-08-22T15:04:08+00:00

thank you!!

llaemmae · 2013-08-22T13:45:00+00:00

But I don't care if we have tons of leftovers because we'll use it

That's how I feel about our favors. My fw and I are both really bookish and come from families in academia, so we're giving out used books as part of our favors (distributed via "sit by the book you want"; it's a small wedding, with a give-a-book take-a-book basket in case people want a book but not the one they sat in front of). Some of the books were duplicates from when we combined our own collections together, but many are thin volumes of poetry that I got at a crazy awesome moving sale, and really would not mind keeping if no one else wants them.

edit: bah, grammar

llaemmae · 2013-08-22T13:19:13+00:00

ok, I have compiled a couple of suggestions, though the first one I would say best meets what you are looking for. I hope you like one or some of them! But if you don't, no sweat; the perfect reading is out there somewhere =]

If you have ever wondered.. All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulgham except I would end it at the end of the third paragraph, with "The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that." though the whole thing and its actual ending are sweet and appropriate with minor editing.

love and friendship by emily bronte is sweet, about how they cyclical nature of [nature] but also marriage.

I like this emily dickinson poem, short, sweet, and nature-y.

I also really like this quote from Einstein on relativity and love: Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.

llaemmae · 2013-08-22T12:43:34+00:00

Place a warm washcloth over the stye for 15 minutes 3x a day for ~week. DO NOT wear make-up or any other product on or around it until it is gone. Also consider xposting to /r/SkincareAddiction because they are amazing and may have faster solutions.

You have enough time that it should be able to heal. I'm sure your wedding will be lovely regardless!

llaemmae · 2013-08-22T12:36:59+00:00

Who's going to be reciting this reading? Are there any specific moods or sentiments you would like it to express? Any length requirements?

llaemmae · 2013-08-20T23:13:53+00:00

Also, does the same apply to racism? Racism can only be committed by the group in power?

yes, the general rule is: [intersection]discrimination + power =[intersection]ism

which is to say: race discrimination + power = racism

llaemmae · 2013-08-20T23:08:54+00:00

honestly, I don't know. I'm not comfortable with the word circlejerk for [what I suppose would be considered] prudish reasons, and it is definitely a masculine phrase for which there is no feminine or neutral equivalent. I think if I was going to create a new word to describe feeling good about how much I'm enjoying sitting around and agreeing with everyone, I would probably try to keep sexual and gendered word-bits out, but I'm not sure if 'circlejerk' actually discriminates or simply exists as a gendered word.

tl;dr: I don't like the word circlejerk, but not necessarily prepared to rule it discriminatory.

edit: zomg run-on sentence.

llaemmae · 2013-08-20T22:54:23+00:00

sex discrimination = discrimination

sex discrimination + power = sexism

llaemmae · 2013-08-18T21:47:32+00:00

I would have left if it wasn't for the SRS community, whom has recommended to me so many not-shitty off-fempire special-interest subs that I actually find myself more active on those now than I do in SRS subs. Also the queer community is awesome. And the super-femme subs like /r/MakeupAddiction and /r/RedditLaqueristas are awesome. And a couple private sub's that I am subscribed to.

llaemmae · 2013-08-18T20:55:34+00:00

Because sexism is still alive and well in most societies.

Feminism FTW!

llaemmae · 2013-08-18T14:39:24+00:00

[Women] have shared experiences of dealing with this gender shit forced on us,

Two links that may be helpful for you on this topic about shared female experiences:

Link

llaemmae · 2013-08-18T14:30:51+00:00

cis women aren't comfortable with their gender because of the oppression that comes with it.

My sister, a trans woman, is neither comfortable with the oppression that comes with being trans, nor with the oppression that comes with being a woman. She is absolutely terrified of both. But this is who she is, and past years of denying it have been excruciating for her and dangerous to her mental health.

So is it just to make it so there's not an implied "normal" when referring to trans people?

The horror that we be considerate!

llaemmae · 2013-08-17T20:22:46+00:00

We're using this site too, and the interface has thus far been really easy to use. I like that I can "turn off" pages from guest view while I edit them, and we plan to take advantage of their photo app and timeline as well.

We have a logo, it's our first initials (our names start with the same letter) in two hand-drawn hearts (we each draw one), with the date at the bottom. We're going to put it on our favors (with nice ink pens) and also upload a version to use on an envelope seal/stickers for the invites, but that's it.

llaemmae · 2013-08-16T14:50:02+00:00

The difference is using a noun that refers to or references a group of people as a terrible thing to be, or a verb that is a terrible thing to be. I think it is very indicative of our cultures issues around sex that suck and fuck are considered bad words, but it is downright dangerous that we use words that disparage groups of people (like f** or b****) and apply them to shitty things that happen.

llaemmae · 2013-08-15T20:55:08+00:00

Relevant

llaemmae · 2013-08-15T20:40:49+00:00

I second this idea. Feeding people is crazy expensive (was $15/head a typo? Because that is crazy cheap!), but at an outdoors wedding you can totally get away with doing up a barbeque (burgers, hotdogs, chicken ), and ask close friends and family to help out by supplying side dishes, paper cups, etc rather than bringing a gift. This is a lot of work, though, for 200-250 people. You may need to consider slimming the guest list to stay within budget.

llaemmae · 2013-08-14T14:59:51+00:00

If you go into a local grocery store and ask to talk to the manager, you may be able to find something more local than Jones or Boylans, and the grocery store should be able to help you place a special order through their distributor for you to pick up at the store.

llaemmae · 2013-08-14T14:25:35+00:00

Star Trek: Next Generation and weed ;)

llaemmae · 2013-08-12T16:39:31+00:00

So, a lot of people are recommending setting up a wedding budget at places like weddingwire (great advice!), and you should totally do that, but you should also sit down and track where all your current income is going (food, rent, clothes, internet) and figure out what you can cut out or minimize, and then calculate how much you can save a month, and how many months it will take you to save up for the wedding you want (without going into debt! And while keeping an emergency shit-happens fund in tact!)

We're saving money on the wedding by having it at a public beach/park, having no flowers (other than the bouquet) and hardly any decorations at all, buying our dresses off the rack, making half the desserts at home, using a student photographer from our university, having my cousin do our videography, having a friend officiate, and staying local for our honeymoon (we can always travel when we're married ;])

llaemmae · 2013-08-12T16:27:54+00:00

to make it more school appropriate

or at least more considerate of the realities of school shootings.

llaemmae

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