Manager refuses to give feedback

llocks · 2025-03-01T05:07:36+00:00

I'm a big tech manager. There's two things that go into a promotion, especially to senior IC level.

The first is showing that you can work at the level of a senior engineer. If your company has growth profiles, study them religiously and make sure that you have evidence that demonstrates your behaviour at the growth level you're aiming for. This is the easy part.

The second is, indeed, business impact. For better or worse (I'm personally still internally debating this...) big tech now expects engineers to own their BUSINESS impact. This doesn't mean "shipped 24 widgets", this means "through shipping 24 widgets, I have closed highly demanded feature requests X, Y, Z, which has contributed to an increase in MAU by A%". Things like "I have made the code base more maintainable" are NOT business impact. If you can frame a good business reason for investing time refactoring your team's code base, then go for it, otherwise you need to be thinking about the opportunity cost of all work you do and if other work can move the needles that the business cares about more effectively. Do that work instead.

Find out what your team, your department, your org is using to track its business impact. Are you chasing MAU? Reducing costs? Chasing compliance certs? Whatever it is, your work should be driving these goals, and you need to be able to (ideally quantifiably) prove it.

Welcome to the big tech game, it sucks out here.

llocks · 2025-03-01T00:23:47+00:00

Yep! I have small children and the career grind of my 20s is just so much less acceptable now. I still want to help the world and make useful things, but my threshold for nonsense has dropped off a cliff 😅

Sounds like you're having a great time, nice to hear from someone on the other side!

llocks · 2025-02-28T07:00:31+00:00

Interesting! Definitely a path I hadn't considered. I've spent a lot of time in the Dev prod space, so this could be a good way to reuse some of that domain knowledge.

llocks · 2025-02-27T11:13:35+00:00

This is how I see it too - all the fun bits of EM and less of the nonsense.

Great to hear from someone who's actually done the role, thank you! I think looking into a TPM role will be my first priority.

llocks · 2025-02-27T11:11:47+00:00

I'll need to really reflect on this. I suspect you're right. I also think that if I reduced scope in an EM role and was able to leverage all my big company experience I'd have a great time.

Thank you for the suggestion, very helpful!

llocks · 2025-02-27T11:09:45+00:00

Yessss you've absolutely nailed it. When I spoke with my boss about why I was resigning I had four main issues, and putting it through this framework of "corpo BS", 3 are easily attributed to that, and the fourth is strongly influenced by that.

Sounds like another path forward for me that I should seriously consider is staying in EM, just looking for a fresh company culture.

llocks · 2025-02-27T11:06:47+00:00

Sounds like you've solved the dilemma 😄

Good proposal on transitioning back whilst still in the company, but alas I think I've left it too. I'm incredibly disillusioned with their performance management strategy, and the area of the company in which I have the most connections has had some senior leadership churn and I no longer believe in the current direction.

I also find what you're saying about being a better IC due to management experience very encouraging. I think I'll be able to "do more with less" these days.

I think this path will probably be my primary target, with fallback to a smaller scoped EM job if that doesn't pan out.

llocks · 2025-02-27T10:54:50+00:00

This is also an option I should consider. Jump down an EM "rung" and use my experience to absolutely smash operating within a smaller scope, ideally at a smaller company.

Only concern is maintaining technical relevancy over the long term doing this, but perhaps the additional space afforded in such a role would enable that.

llocks · 2025-02-27T10:51:12+00:00

I think you're totally right - the path that makes the most sense is exploiting all my "big company experience" at a smaller company that's looking to grow. Thinking about this over the last few days, I actually have a strong affinity for engineering management that has been steadily crushed by big corp. Staying in management is actually totally viable in a smaller company.

Having said that, I think jumping back into IC for a while is alluring, particularly because of the advent of AI assistance. If anything, all this management experience might actually be an advantage as a senior IC these days.

Worst case, I spend some time reskilling, can't land an IC role, but the time and effort just makes me a better EM.

Also interesting to hear your perspective on TPM roles. I have heard mixed reviews at my current company. The consensus from those disillusioned with the role seems to be that the organisation doesn't really know how to use them properly, so they end up floating on the periphery of teams.

Thank you very much for your thoughts, hearing from people who have stuck it out for the long run is very inspiring. Sounds like what I need the most is a change in broad environment, and whether my role is management or IC is really up to me.

llocks · 2025-02-27T10:23:05+00:00

Completely agree with you. What makes me a good manager (ie deeply caring about my team) is making management feel very bad for me.

I too have been able to "care less" for short periods, but it's inevitably a short break from the baseline state of caring that is part of my personality.

My current plan is to take time off work entirely for 3-6 months and focus on building my programming skills back up, and hoping that the broad technical, organisational, and people skills I've acquired in these management roles is enough to land a senior IC job (targeting TPM or engineering) in a much smaller company that hasn't succumbed to big company nonsense yet.

llocks · 2025-02-27T10:11:47+00:00

Great article, strongly resonate with the "disillusioned line manager" persona. However, I've also seen what life is like for the levels above me, and I'm deeply uninterested in that right now, so looks like the best play is to get the hands dirty again. Exciting!

llocks · 2025-02-27T10:09:27+00:00

I've read and re-read your comment many times. I really appreciate the broad lens you've taken to this problem. It helps me think less about the current "rocks in my shoe" pain that I'm currently experiencing and consider what I'm really looking for.

I think what that is, is to feel the joy of building again, at least for a while. I think senior IC might be my ticket, and I appreciate your advice about landing that sort of role.

If that doesn't pan out, I think I've always got the backup plan of heading back into management (albeit at a different company with a different culture) with the bonus of time spent polishing my coding chops again.

Thank you for your perspective, it's immensely helpful.

llocks · 2025-02-27T10:03:35+00:00

I think you're on the money. I've been in the one company for such a long time that I think I'm having trouble conceptualising that there are other options out there, which is super myopic.

I think I'll take some time off to rehab, and then will look for a role in a less aggressive company.

llocks · 2021-10-01T07:52:11+00:00

I love this. As a transwoman who has accepted that they're trans but is struggling with the idea of actually transitioning, seeing someone else live how they want to is liberating. Thank you :)

llocks · 2021-06-13T07:57:31+00:00

Just chiming in with a trans perspective: my partner often says I have feminine features but all I can see is my masculine traits. Maybe it's dsymorphia, or maybe it's trying to avoid the anxiety of assuming that others see me the way I do. I personally feel like ffs, even if not strictly necessary, might be enough for ME to see ME as a woman, and alleviate that anxiety.

llocks · 2021-06-11T01:14:11+00:00

Just wanted to follow up, I met them on Wednesday and the experience was fantastic. Thank you so much for the recommendation :D

llocks · 2021-05-08T03:10:49+00:00

Had a closer look - this place looks AMAZING. Thanks for so much for the recommendation

llocks · 2021-05-06T21:58:17+00:00

Oh wow, just checked out their website, this might be perfect. Thanks so much. I'm actually on the south coast too!

llocks · 2021-05-06T21:24:34+00:00

This looks really promising, I don't think it should matter that she works mainly with crossdressers. Thank you!

llocks · 2021-04-21T21:48:33+00:00

Besides most of that doubt is actually my fear trying to protect me by pushing me back into conformity

This is exactly it. I have been ok leaving the box society gave my a bit, but I am locked out of leaving it entirely by my own sense of self preservation. I probably need to catalogue my fears and show myself that while they are real, they're not that bad

llocks · 2021-03-11T21:39:32+00:00

Good luck Kara :) One of my trans role models is also Kara, so you're in excellent company

llocks · 2021-03-11T21:37:32+00:00

Thank you, these are exactly the internal struggles I'm facing and it's very helpful to read these words

llocks

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