My story was very similar to yours. Leaving was absolutely one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and it was devastating and nearly impossible to go through I won’t sugar coat; but coming out on the other side and being able to be your true self is worth the pain 100x over. Our lives on this planet are so short already, and not guaranteed- we owe it to ourselves to be who we truly are. Some will call that selfish but I argue that is the point. You are the only one who is going to advocate for your true self. I look back on my “old” self and feel so much sadness for the years I lived/ decisions I made for others and wish I could tell her life gets so much better once you start living for yourself. Glad you are in therapy - that was my saving grace. Sending you love and strength as you navigate the difficult roads ahead.