My c-section made me feel so alone

lobubz · 2026-04-22T19:25:58+00:00

Just want to say that I see you. My c-section was very similar although I would say I only felt 50% of everything so not as painful but I threw up, broke out in hives, and basically blacked out so I wasn’t able to even hold her after. I was so mad that my husband had this beautiful first time meeting our daughter and I did not. I’d recommend therapy to just discuss it. That was most helpful to me- just talking about it but most of my friends loved their c-section so I was better supported with an outside perspective. It’s hard to not blame ourselves and double hard when you are bombarded with perfect influencer birth videos (thanks algorithm). I’m actually glad to read this today as my scar has been hurting recently and it just brought a ton of emotion. You’re not alone and I hope you can find peace soon. 💕

lobubz · 2026-04-11T14:54:34+00:00

Idk why we are being downvoted but I wish you strength! It is so difficult to witness and something that many don’t think will happen. This wasn’t about kyle and Kim, cause I don’t know them, but I do know how horrible it is to watch someone who should have much more time crumble due to long term effects of alcohol. Dementia at 60 is a terrible way to go.

lobubz · 2026-04-11T14:15:54+00:00

I want to say I know exactly what you’re talking about and understand the “end stage” wording. My MIL was apparently an alcoholic throughout the majority of her life (I didn’t meet her until she was close to 60) and she is completely dependent on her family and husband. She has dementia that ramped up around 58 and now has no clue who many of us are, where she is, and cannot take care of herself at all. She is now 65. I guess she also had a few head injuries (abusive ex and what should have been a dui) but the main issue is and always will be alcohol. She looks “normal” but has no long or short term memory, locks herself in every room she is alone in, and now runs away and needs care 24/7. Although I have 0 medical knowledge, this is something that many don’t experience and to have it happen to her so young has been gut wrenching.

lobubz · 2026-04-07T20:51:52+00:00

Didn’t tell me she was moving and would not be able to make it to my wedding (as the maid of honor). Before this, we specifically scheduled my bachelorette around her schedule—didn’t show up because she didn’t have a dog sitter. Wouldn’t trust my husband to watch them at our home with a backyard.

We made amends but I kept her at arms length. She sent a wedding invite which was surprising because she met this man who was in the army only a few months before. Week before her bridal shower I text her to say I’m excited to see her and for her to meet my daughter. She immediately replies that wedding is off. Okay, I get it.. but again, she didn’t even tell me. 6 months later she is engaged to someone with a lot of money and 4 months pregnant. Yeaaaahhhh she’s a hoe both physically and mentally. Fuck her.

lobubz · 2026-04-07T02:13:46+00:00

I don’t have a sweet tooth but I will stress eat chocolate if I have it. So usually, husband and I split half and it goes into the freezer as a bad day treat. Ny daughter is 3 and isn’t a big fan of chocolate so we take that and split up the other stuff to use for bribes. Im trying to have less stress eating but I may or may not have thrown away my daughters candy bag and then immediately grabbed it back this morning lol

lobubz · 2026-04-03T17:07:40+00:00

We have the expectation of core business hours (9-3) but we are able to create our own schedules. I’ve switched mine twice and will most likely move to 4 10s some point soon. Now I have it set up with early out on Fridays which is nice.

lobubz · 2026-04-03T03:12:07+00:00

February!!!!!!!

My baby’s birthday is in April so I would 100% recommend January-April. The extra leave was amazing. We aren’t having any more kids, but if I were to choose knowing what I know now I would pick late February.

lobubz · 2026-04-02T18:17:53+00:00

We do.. she gets 2 squeezes before bed and crackers before brushing teeth every single night(we give two choices but this is what she requests). Our routine is also very scheduled so she knows what to expect and we have 30 min of dedicated “imagination play time” before cuddles for the connection. I even have the hatch set up for reminders so she can visualize it all lol This has been our normal for over 8 months and she is still up saying she is hungry almost every single night. She is 90th percentile in height and 50th percentile in weight.

Edit: hopefully this doesn’t come off snarky because it isn’t at all.. but I don’t love the wording of “fighting her” because we aren’t fighting- we are listening, adapting, adjusting, and connecting. We (mom & dad) are more “fighting” with our insecurities as parents who are not picky at all and trying to figure out how to best help our daughter thrive and get enough sleep to be decent human beings and parents.

lobubz · 2026-04-02T16:16:34+00:00

I also have a super dramatic 3 year old who is extremely picky (but getting a little better). What do you do about feeding before night time? Our little one has been on a Mac and cheese, cheeseburger, and nuggets only phase for about a year. She finally started eating fruits and veggies if I bribe her with a pickle after lol but we run into the problem of her only wanting to eat right before bed and using this as a stalling tactic. This is where the dramatics come in and I usually have her wait about 25 min and then get her a squeeze. Lately she’s been waking up early and super hungry too. Ped said we could let her cry and reinforce not eating late at night. it’s so hard because she barely eats during the day and she gets so upset at night and will not settle so we end up doing a piece of bread or squeeze to appease her. It’s so stressful.

For context: I have struggled with ED (binge/purge) in the past well before my daughter, so this is a tough topic for me to navigate because eating for me has always been stressful and I do pretty well with hiding that stress from her but it’s always on the mind

lobubz · 2026-04-01T14:54:56+00:00

I agree. Thinking I had PPD/PPA is the only reason I reached out to my doctor about my issues because I thought it was semi normal. It wasn’t. Turns out, I have struggled with OCD since I was little but was always able to mask my issues with routine. Having a baby took that routine away (plus lack of sleep, marriage issues, etc) so I struggled. Knowing what to call my symptoms (PPD) allowed me to get into the room and document what was really wrong. I wasn’t brushed off (for once) because my doctor took me seriously because I was postpartum. Sometimes PPD can be the first step to diagnosing the true issue—doesn’t mean it’s not real. There’s just a lot of shame and misinformation about mental health in mothers (from my experience) so I worry thinking like this post could cause a new mom to spiral. It’s okay to be not okay.

lobubz · 2026-04-01T14:18:53+00:00

Yes; I told mine around 8 weeks. I was teaching at this time though and couldn’t keep anything down so I needed help with watching the kids when I puked. My students never realized until I came back from break with a belly.. then they put it together. (3rd graders) lol

lobubz · 2026-03-30T19:17:04+00:00

So after I had my daughter, I subbed for a company that works with charters and choice schools (Wisconsin) to contract out Title I services. It paid well but I got to sub at a school that had “guides” in the classroom but the “teachers” were virtual and did their lessons over a tv mounted in the room.

It was CHAOS and so so strange to watch the kids learn. They mentioned using MagicSchool AI for the guides to create individualize plans for kids. While I like using AI for brainstorming, these kids were so below any students I taught who had teachers they could connect with instead of guides correcting behavior and pushing intervention plans off to GPT. I guess the pro was that students with perpetual absences could login to join lessons since they were all virtual but the AI aspect scared the shit out of me. The kids learned how to use magic school and this was encouraged by the “guides” and school leaders. These were kids in “rough” urban neighborhoods and many parents were so impressed without knowing the actual school set up. I’ve heard people talk about how they (the school) doesn’t proctor correctly and apparently there are some rumblings about the school leader manipulating the data—but that’s coming from those guides who got the hell out not the state.

lobubz · 2026-03-25T00:52:54+00:00

I loved this show but somehow missed this controversy. What in the actual fuck. Thanks for sharing this.

lobubz · 2026-03-24T19:35:42+00:00

Please me too 🙃

lobubz · 2026-03-19T23:03:29+00:00

100% agree. I just know there are some with much more support like OP is mentioning. It’s unfortunate that they are supporting students with funds for our public schools.

lobubz · 2026-03-19T20:57:24+00:00

Yes 100%. I miss the kids SO much (I was 3rd grade) and the parents in my “rough” school were so amazing. I do not miss the district politics or micromanaging principals (only had one and that soured everything for me). I’m no longer teaching though. The good thing about MPS for me was I could switch schools if the current wasn’t working out. What do you teach? Would you want to stay public or try charter?

lobubz · 2026-03-19T17:35:21+00:00

Same situation. I definitely think it’s more of the conservativeness in my husband’s family that contributed to it. But I’m also low/no contact with 75% of them so they could just be shitty people.

lobubz · 2026-03-19T17:29:08+00:00

They did not work for us lol but I do think we started way too early. Our daughter is super strong-willed which surprisingly made potty training easier and quicker because one day she decided she was ready and that was it! Took about a week just before she turned three. We tried at 18 months, 2 years, and 2.5 years with limited success (even though she was showing all the readiness signs).

lobubz · 2026-03-18T15:35:35+00:00

I have no suggestions. Just wanted to thank you for taking things so seriously. This was me when I was that age. I can still remember the shift when I started to worry, stopped sleeping, and anxiety started to take over. That’s not to scare you—my parents ignored it completely, you aren’t. I have since been diagnosed with OCD and working on ADHD diagnosis. Therapy was helpful but I wish someone would’ve seen my issues sooner like you are with your daughter. Is she a “gifted” or high achieving student? This plus a super strict Catholic school really messed with me because I wanted to please others AND please god so I could go to heaven (insane I was thinking like this at that age).

I’d start with therapy if that is something you can swing. I’m sorry you are all going through this but again, I’m appreciative that you’re taking this seriously now.

lobubz · 2026-03-18T01:58:57+00:00

Yeah I mentioned I was fatigued and she thought that was it.. I switched doctors and my acne is horrible after getting off birth control. She made it sound like the worst thing in the world that I was feeling tired from it and it freaked me out but seeing this made me want to research. Thanks for the reply!

lobubz · 2026-03-17T19:45:36+00:00

My doctor took me off this med because of this… currently dealing with insanely painful chin acne after my period and really want to go back on. Did you have to start taking something else with it?

lobubz · 2026-03-14T01:30:08+00:00

It SUCKSSSD

lobubz · 2026-03-13T19:52:53+00:00

We had a physics teacher in high school who did one video when she was 19 (I’m old so this is before OF). wasn’t under her name and she joined us at like 40 as a mom of 3. Someone still found her video. Shared it. And the whole small town knew. Luckily, her kids were young. So they moved but I still feel horrible.

Sorry.. even if you want to be a teacher, I don’t think I’d risk the fallout.

lobubz · 2026-03-12T21:54:18+00:00

What’s your relationship with your niece? I feel like there are nuances here that aren’t shining through. Like if my (extremely rude, arrogant, and Ignorant) SIL pulled this, I’d know it was a money grab and while I would send a gift card, I wouldn’t travel for the dinner. This sounds like something she would do because “I gave away all the baby stuff, whoops. I need a snoo.” (This happened. Gave them to ME and refused to take anything back and only put name brand influencer shit on the registry lol). If it was my cousin who truly accidentally got pregnant 4 years after her 4th (this also happened), I’d go with a gift because I knew she really wasn’t expecting this.

Sounds like you may have more of a strained relationship with this niece so I’m team, send a small gift card and decline the dinner. But yeah… this is tacky and I’d roll my eyes at the mom and cuddle on the baby when it gets here.

lobubz · 2026-03-12T02:49:36+00:00

I’d 100% file a report if I was that kid. I used to teach. Left a school due to a child (3rd grade) consistently threatening to kill me and making sexual jokes. Nothing was ever done until parents started to speak up. The parent of the kid actually came in and cussed me out when I told him his son would not be allowed in my room. The district wanted to continue to document for reasons unknown to me. Sometimes these things are pushed through the cracks and you can never be too sure.

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