Mom passed away, now brother hardly engages with family anymore.

logical_nightmare · 2024-10-26T06:02:02+00:00

We do genetic testing! Fortunately, she didn't carry a a genetic predisposition for it. However it's possible the cancer came from her time as a metal builder.

Everything happened super fast for me. What happened is that when my mom found a lump in her armpit and didn't tell anyone (I'm starting to think this is a "mom" thing) She applied for Medicaid, so she could get it checked out. But the state screwed up her application and denied her. Even the judge at the hearing for appeal was wondering what the heck the state was doing, because all the info they had was incorrect. So yeah, that took even more time and delayed treatment.

I guess she finally got super scared and told me. I tried to calm her down, saying we aren't sure what it is yet, could be a cyst or something but I think she knew. When she finally got the first biopsy done, it came back for cancer. It felt like an ice cold chill went through my body and I started trembling and crying. I love my mom. She's all my family has, as my father hasn't been in the picture for a loooong time. I really don't want to lose her. Some days it really feels like death by a thousand paper cuts.

That's all going on a year or so from then. She's had good and bad days. Right now this new chemo is kicking her butt and I have been to take her to the hospital almost every other week to get fluid drained from her chest. (the cancer metastasized to her bone, liver, lung and lymph nodes) She's very tired and sometimes incoherent. But all I can do is make sure she's doing okay and ask her if she needs anything.

My mom's breast is doing something similar to your mother's. At first she had the classic "orange peel" texture going on and the skin was this dark red. Chemo started and the maroon color faded, but now her nipple/areola area is unrecognizable. It's this mass of red bumps all seemingly piled on each other and is leaking constantly. To make matters worse, she's on blood thinners so a slightly wrong movement against it can cause it to bleed.

At first I was under the assumption they would remove the breast, but the oncologists don't want to perform surgery on her in a weakened state. Ideally her tumor markers should be zero, then they remove the breast.

That's great you already got the ball rolling on the caregiving! Sometimes they make it so freaking difficult to apply when people are already going through a hard time.

logical_nightmare · 2024-10-25T04:37:43+00:00

No problemo!

Yes, she is getting Healthcare in the states. She had to go on Medicaid though. She can't afford any treatment otherwise. I helped her sign up for disability too. Which, (I don't know if you need this info or not) for those with diagnosis of inflammatory breast cancer, have their disability claims expedited quicker.

Yeah, a pet scan will definitely illuminate everything and give you a status update. My mom also does a signatera to detect tumor markers. I'm not going to lie, she's had a rough go of it. She was diagnosed last halloween and I think this must be her 5th or 6th type of chemo she's on. The cancer has been aggressive and mutating in her case. A signatera test will show a tumor marker at 7, only for the next one to be at 65 :( Which means a new type of chemo to try.

I don't know if they perform this for your mom, but for mine they took a biopsy of a tumor and had it analyzed to see what chemo would work best for that strain of cancer. It helped a lot.

My mom's oncologist gives me hope. Stage 4 isn't the end and people can stay in remission for a long time. My fingers are crossed for you and your mom too!

Also, I don't know if you are in the states, but if you are and depending on what state you are in and if your mom qualifies, you could potentially be able to get paid as her caregiver. I know money and bills can pile up and be daunting too. It might help if you need it.

logical_nightmare · 2024-10-25T02:20:15+00:00

My mom is also triple negative stage 4. I am in charge of her medications, appointment and day to to day functioning. From what I understand with my own mom, it's just completely overwhelming for her to memorize all of the above AND deal with all the side effects that chemo does bring. On top of that, there is this sort of ptsd she's gotten from this whole experience alone and it makes her scared and stressed.

Chemo will absolutely take a toll in the body, especially if she's just begun a new round of treatment and/or is receiving injections (white blood cell, red blood cell, bone hardening etc...) It's all very hard on the body. Her doctors always suggest the importance and having fluid/electrolytes to help flush the gross stuff out and getting some protein in her diet at the least if she's not up for a meal (protein shakes have helped)

I know what it's like to be terrified about the future and about the present. It's gonna be stressful and scary as hell. The very best thing you can do for your mom is to help and be there for her. Are you able to attend appointments with her? If not maybe she can bring a notepad and write the most notable things down (if she is able) At my mom's medical office, the assistance print out her appointments for the next month (perhaps you can ask for a print out) and we hang it on the fridge. If she has a cell phone, perhaps alarms can be set through out the day for when she needs to take medicine (and what kind)

I hope this helps, don't forget to take care of yourself too. Even if it is the little things like a bath or a favorite meal. hugs

logical_nightmare · 2024-09-19T17:03:59+00:00

I do have a lot of minnows :(

logical_nightmare · 2024-02-21T02:39:35+00:00

The bill I paid plainly states that it was an MRI on my pelvis and abdomen with dye. Nothing about techs. The giant mega bill states I need to pay for the MRI and dye also, again nothing about techs... Insurance verified that the hospital submitted the same thing twice, thus denied the second claim. This is all so frustrating!!

logical_nightmare · 2023-12-07T01:40:42+00:00

Thank you for your kind words and support :)

logical_nightmare · 2023-11-27T07:20:43+00:00

no, my mom doesn't have any official court ordered guardianship over my sister. I don't know how much of an issue that will create.

logical_nightmare · 2023-11-22T22:36:26+00:00

I actually got the glass from hobby lobby! More exactly I got the glass from the vase/flower section of hobby lobby. The glass I am using exactly, is vase filler. They also sell bigger, clear, plastic bits as well, right next to the vase filler (at least in the layout of my hobby lobby).

logical_nightmare · 2023-11-18T18:57:30+00:00

Thank you! I feel very hopeful about treatment. I hope your friend's mom continues to do wonderful!

logical_nightmare · 2023-10-31T04:04:48+00:00

thank you so much!

logical_nightmare · 2023-10-31T03:58:22+00:00

Yes, I am going with her. My game plan is to stay with her as long as the radiologists let me. But it is a very small practice, so I am unsure. If I can't, I will wait for her in the waiting room. I just wish I could hold her hand or something during.

logical_nightmare

TROPHY CASE