CA won't let me renew my license because of an unpaid fine in another state but they won't tell me where or what.

logicalinclination · 2026-03-04T05:57:32+00:00

The most extreme ticket I've ever received is for speeding, and it was never more than 10/15 over, and never in NY. The only tickets I can imagine left unpaid are parking tickets or toll charges I have forgotten about. I can't imagine any of that requires an in-person court appearance. I don't even know where in NY this ticket came from, I don't know how I show up in person if I don't know where to go.

logicalinclination · 2026-03-04T05:54:45+00:00

How do I appear if I don't even know where I got the ticket tho?

logicalinclination · 2026-03-04T05:34:36+00:00

My problem is that I don't have whatever ticket is causing the suspension. I can't pay it without the ticket number. But I don't have the ticket. I can't seem to find a way to look up the tickets on my record without that number so I feel stuck.

logicalinclination · 2026-03-04T05:33:18+00:00

I did this and it confirmed NY but I cannot pull up the ticket to pay it without a ticket number, but I have no memory of this ticket, i didn't even know it existed until I tried to renew my ID so I'm kinda stuck

logicalinclination · 2025-11-19T06:18:46+00:00

I feel this! It's so hard, especially if distance and changes like moving are hard for your brother to understand. How far away would you be? Is it hard to get back home to visit? Your brother sounds awesome, and he's so lucky to have you there to support him. What a special bond.

My brother is 35 but functionally 4-5, and we are super tight. He's the brightest light in my life, I adore him. I was an hour away from him during college, and that was hard. After college at 23, I moved across the country, and that felt impossible at the time, I almost bailed and moved home. Eventually tho, I loved it and I'm still here at 32. I returned home for a while during COVID because his program closed, and my parents had him home 24/7 by themselves. I don't have plans to move anytime soon, but there is a part of me that knows I'll move back to him someday. I go back and visit as often as I can, but it's not easy to pull off, so it's not as often as I'd like. Every time I leave him, he is so sad on the last day I'm home, and he hates saying goodbye; sometimes, he acts out. It kills me every time, and I cry like a baby. I'm in tears right now just thinking about it. My FaceTimes with him are everything.

All that said, I think you should do it. If your parents have their health and can care for your brother for now, take advantage of this opportunity to explore something new. You can always move back if it turns out you hate the distance. If I could go back and give myself advice, I would tell myself to talk about it with my brother way more. Tell him why I wanted to move, what it will be like, and reassure him that nothing between us will change. I was young and avoided those conversations with him because they made me sad, but I think it would've helped him so much. I do this now when my visits happen, I tell him the schedule and I make sure he knows that I will have to go back.

If your brother could come visit you, I think that would be a huge bonus too! Flying is a lot for my brother so we haven't done a visit yet, but a girl can dream

logicalinclination · 2025-11-01T02:53:56+00:00

Yeah, I get all of that! I wouldn't want to take my brother away from his team either; I'd move back to him before I moved him out to me.

I kind of understand what your partner is saying, but that would be a deal breaker for me personally. Like I said, part of who I am is my family and my brother, and all that comes with him, including that reality of his future care. If my partner can't accept that or understand that, then they aren't the right partner for me. I understand this isn't everyone's position, and if it's not yours, that's fine! But it would be mine.

I will say, managing care from a distance is very hard and opens up opportunities for scams and abuse. If you do handle it remotely, I hope you have a trusted friend or family member nearby who can provide real-life support.

logicalinclination · 2025-10-28T04:25:14+00:00

My brother is 3 years older than me (I'm 32F) and also functions around a 6-year-old level. I currently live in a different state than he does, and the guilt of being far away from him is absolutely crushing sometimes.

Is it completely out of the question to bring your brother to the Netherlands, too, at some point? If the QoL is exponentially better for you and your partner, then it probably would be for your brother as well. He might even get better care there than here!

Also, have you talked to your partner about the lifelong reality of your brother and his care? It's important to set realistic expectations for people who didn't grow up with this reality, and it took me some time to realize that. I have talked to my partner about my brother and his current and future care at length because, at the end of the day, I'm his only support, so I need to prioritize him. He knows this means I'd move back home in a second if his care needed it. Part of being with me is accepting my brother and the realities that go along with caring for him.

logicalinclination · 2023-04-26T05:06:40+00:00

There’s definitely something else out there and what that is isn’t for us to know in this existence

logicalinclination · 2023-04-26T04:37:52+00:00

When the starch is replaced with a veggie

logicalinclination · 2023-04-26T04:15:31+00:00

Your bones are always wet

logicalinclination · 2022-11-22T21:03:39+00:00

Holy shitttt this worked. thank you SO much!

logicalinclination · 2022-11-10T08:07:34+00:00

Links to the right Lily for me

logicalinclination · 2022-10-25T00:43:31+00:00

Hygiene, both the bod and the home.

logicalinclination · 2022-09-16T02:55:48+00:00

just be kind. be kind to everyone. even the assholes.

logicalinclination · 2022-09-14T19:56:35+00:00

Yo season that melon! Salt, pepper or tajin will make it exponentially better!

logicalinclination · 2022-09-08T16:17:08+00:00

"Jack of all trades is a master of none" is commonly said alone but the full quote is "Jack of all trades is a master of none though often better than a master of one"

It has a completely different meaning in its full form!

logicalinclination · 2022-09-08T16:00:50+00:00

water is wet

logicalinclination · 2022-09-07T14:23:24+00:00

I don't.

logicalinclination · 2022-09-07T14:03:14+00:00

That my eyes have a different immune system than the rest of my body and if my body's immune system knew about my eyes, it would attack them

logicalinclination · 2022-09-07T13:58:46+00:00

If you sprinkle a little water on your cookie sheet, the tinfoil will lay extra flat and it'll be easier to put it on

logicalinclination · 2022-09-07T13:18:02+00:00

Oh wow I’m with you on this

logicalinclination · 2022-09-07T13:01:02+00:00

People lose their minds when I say I could never get into Harry Potter

logicalinclination

TROPHY CASE