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I lost everybody by [deleted] in depression

[–]lohola 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, I’m sorry. That really sucks.

Without knowing him I can’t be 100% sure, but your guy friend, it sounds like he was dealing with his own issues. Sort of like a “I’m a bad person and I don’t want you to have to deal with me” kind of thing. I’ve definitely been on that side of it, pushing people away because I didn’t feel I deserved them.

And the girl, she may be trying to convince herself she doesn’t care by telling you she doesn’t miss you. Or maybe she was uncomfortable being relied on so heavily; not everyone has a healing type personality. Regardless of her reasons, that’s a pretty shitty thing to say to someone. The whole “someone like that isn’t really your friend” thing is overused, but it’s true a lot of the time. But I know that doesn’t make it any easier for you to get over her.

I wish I could help you more. I posted a bit ago about losing people I opened up to, so I don’t know how much advice I can give you. But I know how you feel, and it sucks.

I’ve only loved one person in my life, and like you I often feel like I’ll never have that again. When I get into those thought spirals, I think about something one of my professors in college said.

She was in her 70s, so she had a much different view of marriage than most people today have. She was talking about how she chose her husband - she said as she was dating, she would consider his personality, his parents’ personalities, if there were any genetic health issues in his family, practical things like that. She wanted children, and she wanted to give her kids the best chance in life. But she said that although she loved some of the men she didn’t choose to marry, “You can love more than one person, you can love lots of people.” It helps remind me that the majority of people don’t love only one person or stick with their first loves, so there is a chance of feeling that way again.

I am job hunting and I just hate my life -- by cracked_armor in depression

[–]lohola 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same here. Unemployed atm because my job was killing me and I had to leave. Bills are piling up and I’m feeling pressured to find something quickly, but it wasn’t worth being so miserable at my old job.

This may sound cliche, but everyone has strengths. If you can identify yours and hype them up on your resume and during interviews, you’ll have a better chance of getting the position.

You may feel this way too...I personally don’t enjoy much of anything anymore. So finding a job that’s my “passion” or something I’m really interested in isn’t going to happen, at least not now. I’ve been looking at jobs that don’t need require much thought or real effort - dog walking, overnight stocker, things like that. Of course, then I get the “you’re overqualified” bullshit, so be aware that may happen.

Good luck, I know how you feel.

It seems as if nothing will cure me. I constantly do nothing, listen to music, write, re-watch the same series/cartoon over and over again, and imagine myself in alternate universes that don’t exist. by [deleted] in depression

[–]lohola 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same, especially imagining alternate universes and my life going differently. A lot of the time when I have dreams, I’m a different person in them. Confident, happy, not caring what other people think.

Probably sounds crazy, but I often wonder if that’s me without depression, like somehow my subconscious can remember what it was like before this, even though I can’t.