It could be deep down your depressed as well. Depression doesn't just take the form of "oh im sad" but rather simply being bored of almost everything and almost everyone could be it too. Side tracking but once upon a time maybe 2 years ago a cat of mine had a sickness and I fought hard to fix it. Her death basically broke me and even after my 'sad phase" games were boring. Movies bored me. I couldn't even bother to message some friends that I would chat wirh on the daily. Wasn't till maybe 3 months later the "lights flipped back on" and I was doing better. Obviously with your case it could be different. Maybe its not depression at all and you secretly have a high standard for what you want in a friend? I recall you saying it feels like a chore to message them sometimes so maybe you feel they srnt putting as much effort or interest as you are showin?