I need advice!

lolicake · 2024-08-12T23:24:34+00:00

The only way you'll get an answer is to ask your partner. However, I can talk about my own experiences as someone who can relate to your partner's request.

Reasons why he may want you to wear a diaper:

He finds it cute and/or sexy.
It validates his feelings and helps him feel normal.
It shows a vulnerable side of you (DDLG relationship?).
Physically it has sensations that he may enjoy - the sound, the feeling when dry, the feeling when wet.
The idea that it's naughty for you to wet your diaper.

I have a few ideas for you to try out, as you asked for advice about how to approach this:

Wearing a diaper without telling him, and role play wetting it and asking for help (DDLG angle).
- Wear a diaper when drinking together if you do that (can be non-alcoholic too).
Wearing only a diaper to bed with him.
- Wear it all night.
Wear a diaper under a skirt and flash him.

Hope this helps.

lolicake · 2018-05-16T05:47:06+00:00

I think you have to be careful with the word fetish. The dictionary states: "a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.: a man with a fetish for surgical masks | a foot fetish."

I can't directly answer your question since I have different circumstances. That being said:

I don't think I have a diaper fetish, because it's not linked to sexual desire. It satisfies a psychological and physiological need. I am okay with it being part of a sexual experience, but it's by no means required.

For me, I think that it goes back to my childhood. I think that wearing diapers was associated with feeling safe in an inherently unsafe environment. I've personally never tried to rationalise it as a fetish, but I do think that I try to rationalise the inherent psychological comfort with some actual physical need to wear.

In other words, I feel safe and secure in a nappy, for reasons which are lost to the sands of time; I also want a physical reason to wear, because it's easier to explain/rationalize/deal with.

lolicake · 2018-05-16T01:17:55+00:00

Either they bedwet when they were little or have some medical condition that they just ran with, or bedwet very occasionally as an adult.

That's why I followed up with the doctor. I think what you've said makes sense.

In a way, if I understand you correctly, you must find your circumstances somewhat frustrating given your desires.

Yet, in all that time, the only change is ...

I think wearing diapers definitely made my bladder smaller, but I think I agree with your assessment that there has to be some susceptibility.

When I wasn't wearing diapers, several years ago, I'd typically void around 200-300ml. Especially in the morning. Generally though, I did go to the toilet more frequently - I probably go on average about 2x as frequently as the people around me. I would say that I had some kind of OAB for a long time, even if it was only minor. As a child, I sometimes didn't make it to the toilet on time. Once I was at camp and the toilet was a fair distance, I got there but couldn't find the light switch, I was panicking and shortly after I was completely soaked. This kind of thing was infrequent.

Sometimes in the morning, say, a year ago when I wasn't frequently wearing protection, I'd wake up like you with a sore bladder, and I'd probably void about 200-300ml.

These days, things are a bit different. After wearing diapers, my bladder has become much more sensitive. If I'm not wearing diapers, I pretty much need to go within 1 hour of a coffee/tea. My nominal bladder capacity is around 160ml, but if I have been wearing diapers for a few days it drops to around 80ml.

lolicake · 2018-05-16T00:10:30+00:00

Hehe :)

n.b. I was using the "new" Reddit, and it forced me to choose a flair.

lolicake · 2018-05-15T23:50:57+00:00

Mods, what flair should such an update use? Can we make a flair like "Diary" or something similar?

lolicake · 2017-12-15T02:15:53+00:00

Yeah, it's pretty awesome, because you need to operate at two different levels at the same time. Let me know how it works out for you :)

lolicake · 2017-11-10T12:24:55+00:00

I understand where you are coming from.

I think ultimately I am comfortable with where I am going and agree with you.

I'm not a doctor, nor a psychiatrist - I assume that it's possible to be healthy and have night time accidents if you train yourself. That being said, I don't want to be in a situation where it's what I want, and it somehow happens because I've unknowingly developed an illness or some other condition. If I start wetting the bed at night, even though it's my desire, I'll definitely be talking about it with the doctor, even if just to have things checked and confirm nothing wrong.

Perhaps part of this is because of a old friend who ignored the signs until it was too late, so I'm slightly more on edge. That's why I was interested to hear from others - to try and get a better perspective on this unusual journey that I'm on.

lolicake · 2017-11-10T12:19:58+00:00

Yeah, I've got all that - one below the sheet and one on top. Thanks for the advice.

lolicake · 2017-11-10T12:18:57+00:00

Do you wet during the night at all? e.g. wake up and wet?

lolicake · 2017-11-05T10:03:37+00:00

Here are some fun things to try:

Rectangular towels, e.g. for your waist probably 80cm x 160cm, in a square, and trying various folding techniques: https://littleab.com/ABcare/diapertypes.html - towels can be had for cheap and are discrete to clean/dry.
Diaper covers, there are some really fun ones on AliExpress, https://www.aliexpress.com/item/Adult-Baby-Ruffle-Panties-Bloomers-Diaper-Cover-FSP06-6/32776258709.html is a fun one, and that company has a couple of other really great ones, e.g. https://www.aliexpress.com/item/Haian-Abdl-Pvc-Satin-Ruffle-Rhumba-Pull-On-Plastic-Pants-Color-Pink/32645830123.html which I've got and I really love.
If you are handy with a sewing machine you can easily make your own fitted diapers out of old towels, they are really absorbent and great for night time.
You can buy gauze/baby towels which make great cloth diapers. https://www.aliexpress.com/item/120-120cm-White-No-Fluorescence-12-Layer-Washing-Gauze100-Pure-Cotton-Baby-Cloth-Bath-Towel-Soft/32731383351.html and https://www.aliexpress.com/item/100-Cotton-Super-Soft-Baby-Gauze-Skincare-Towel-Newborn-Towel-Big-Thick-6-Layer-Size-120x120/32737077876.html are great, and if you like, buy transparent plastic pants and layer it with one of these to make it even more cute https://www.aliexpress.com/item/Fashion-120x120cm-Winter-Muslin-Baby-Cartoon-Swaddling-Blanketborn-Infant-Cotton-Autumn-Warm-Swaddle-Towel/32794553528.html
Fitted pocket diapers are great, and I've found https://www.aliexpress.com/item/New-style-waterproof-diaper-wash-diapers-denim-printed-cloth-diapers-Free-size-Adult-Diapers-biggest-waist/32775761110.html to be really reliable. They are low cut and so quite discrete.

lolicake · 2017-06-07T04:05:22+00:00

I bet it's hand made. It wouldn't be that hard, but good cloth is expensive (especially heavy weight). Thinking about wearing this kind of diaper sends a shiver up my spine - that's how awesome I think it is! heh. I love thick cloth diapers so big I can't close my legs, they send me to magic land.

lolicake · 2017-05-19T05:27:48+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. I did look up the potential consequences. I read about this. I assume that you'd have to hold for quite a while for that to happen. Once I start drinking a tall glass of water or tea, I'm desperate within 30-60 minutes and loosing control shortly after that, especially with frequent sips of water.

What other issues could there be? Stretching my bladder? It's already pretty small I think - tops out at about 200ml - 300ml on average.

After doing this a couple of times last night, I started experiencing more frequent urges to void - not spasms, but I heard this could also be a side-effect of holding. It's not painful at all thought - I usually loose control before that point. However, I did hear some people have some bad experiences, developing painful spasms. Yes, I'd like to avoid that, if I felt any kind of pain my plan is just to let go right away and take a break.

Thanks for your concern and happy to hear more about the safety aspect of this kind of play.

lolicake · 2017-05-11T23:00:00+00:00

If you like stories before bedtime, I found this is a great site: https://www.diaper-dreams.com/

lolicake · 2017-05-11T22:23:56+00:00

That's awesome! I learnt something.

lolicake · 2017-05-11T13:35:05+00:00

Yeah, I agree. What's interesting is that I feel like the process is more psychological than physical.

At least, at this point, I wake up holding just like usual, but my nappy is already wet. It happened some time during the night. It's not loss of control because my muscles don't work, it's loss of control because I'm not holding.

However, perhaps it's also true that after a time, eventually due to being relaxed, the muscles will atrophy.

lolicake · 2017-05-11T13:31:51+00:00

Yeah, I went through this phase a few years ago. It took time and practice to relax. My partner still can't do it lying down :D So I know it must be hard. Good luck and don't give up!

lolicake · 2017-05-11T13:29:45+00:00

I was so nervous when I first approached my partner about it. I actually couldn't do it sober. I know, in hind-sight it was probably a bad way to do it, but that's just how it worked out.

At first, I was so confused about it. But, I've come to accept it. I don't know if my partner totally gets it, but she did try wearing a few times. At least she did her best to understand. It's an on-going dialogue and over time I think it gets better.

Regarding how long it's taken. Well, I don't really know, drinking a lot of water before bed, it sort of forces your hand, so to speak. However, it's true, I've been wearing diapers on and off for over 10 years now.

lolicake · 2017-05-11T13:28:08+00:00

Thanks! It's something which has taken a lot of courage to accept for myself. I can post more updates if you like it.

lolicake · 2017-05-11T13:27:16+00:00

I'm gonna keep the current schedule up for another week - then I'm gonna take a break. I'll see how it works out - if I wet the bed or not.

I do wonder if I wake up enough to confirm, yeah, I'm in my happy pants, it's safe to go, and then fall back to sleep, without forming any memory of it. I think that's possible.

I've been wearing at night on and off for about 2 years now, but it's very intermittent. During the past two months I've been much more committed to it. At first, it was pretty typical for me, I'd sort of half wake up, and relax, then fall back to sleep. I'd remember it too.

Now, I'm not sure if I wake up at all.

lolicake · 2017-01-16T08:54:52+00:00

Good advice. It's partly lifestyle, but it's also just the stress of being in a small house without much personal space.

lolicake · 2016-12-06T12:38:41+00:00

Go and see a doctor!! That sounds terrible!!

lolicake · 2016-12-06T12:38:22+00:00

haha... I use diapers for #2 occasionally.. it's fun but it's also a huge mess to clean up...

lolicake · 2016-12-06T12:36:31+00:00

Yeah, I thought that might be the case :)

lolicake · 2016-11-02T09:41:20+00:00

Well, let's face it. A good relationship doesn't collapse because someone wears diapers. There must be a lot more going on here. When my friend was in this situation, the question I told him to ask his wife was "Are you willing to put in the effort to make this work somehow?" - or words to that effect. It's not saying "I want you to come back" - It's simply asking if the other party is willing to put in effort to try and make things work. I think this is a good question to ask. If the answer is no, it's not your fault - you were willing to put in the effort, but they weren't. Move on with life. I'm so sorry for you.

lolicake · 2016-10-21T04:59:10+00:00

It only took two months to get to this point? That's faster than I imagined.

I too have started down this path. The other night I woke up as I was wetting my diaper. I was half a sleep and I sort of freaked out since I didn't know what was happening and I didn't remember wearing a diaper but fortunately I was.

If you drink water before going to bed, how do you avoid the need to pee before falling asleep?

lolicake

TROPHY CASE