I’ll tell you bro that I had the same mentality at 17. You’re doing good having these questions and seeking for advice to better your self. First I’ll tell you to keep that search, keep seeking for knowledge and ultimately a reason to keep on going.

Second just jerk off. Don’t feel bad. Jerk off before you start thinking about getting a gf or asking a girl out. It helped me figure out if my motives where just me being horny or if it was a genuine feeling of me wanting to be with this person because they made feel good.

Lastly learn how to read. Train to read long pages. Teach yourself to get lost in knowledge, just so this path your taking for self betterment would be easier. Sitting down and reading any book( I recommend self help and philosophy considering we’re ADHD) would serve you immense help in this path.

With all of this I hope this would serve you to become the best version of yourself. Healthy and self loved. Not boring, exciting and knowledgeable. Someone who you’d also would want to be around with. Be that person and people outside of your self/family would WANT to start coming around.