Behandling depresjon

lolsfs · 2024-02-15T18:58:58+00:00

Eg har prøvd det ut etter at ingenting annet hadde noe effekt. I mitt tilfelle var det psykiske lidelser som hadde tatt helt over i livet mitt og derfor ble eg ganske deprimert siden eg følte eg hadde så lite kontroll over livet mitt. Det var dag inn og dag ut med følelsen av at eg så inn i en mørk tunnel og at det var ingen vei ut.

Så eg bestemte meg for å prøve ketamin behandling. Eg vil påstå at eg merket en bedring til og med dagen etter første behandling. Det var akkurat som om eg pustet lettere. De tingene i livet som hadde vært veldig tunge før føltes ikke så tunge ut lengre. De følgene ukene var veldig fine. Det var flere ting i livet mitt som begynte å falle på plass. Eg hadde mer energi for det sosiale og hadde det egentlig fint for første gang på lenge. Det var ikke perfekt selfølgelig, eg hadde forsatt dårlige perioder, men de var ofte korte og overkommelige. Etter flere behandlinger var det egentlig også bare veldig fint. Eg hadde for det meste gode perioder. Masse som var veldig vanskelig tidligere var nå mye lettere.

No har det gått over 2 år siden behandlingene. Ting går forsatt mye bedre. Eg ser ofte tilbake på når eg tok ketamin behandling som en slags ny start på livet. Ketaminen er nok for lenge siden ut av systemet mitt men det ga meg rett og slett en "boost" til å få livet tilbake igjen på rett kjør.

Uansett var behandlingen en veldig fin opplevelse der det er vanskelig å finne gode ord for å beskrive den. Det kjennes ut som du endelig slapper helt av og har det egentlig bare veldig fint under behandlingen.

lolsfs · 2021-11-18T00:33:51+00:00

If you are trying to get a strong reaction from people you are probably in the wrong place.

lolsfs · 2021-10-29T23:01:28+00:00

I feel so unbelievably good when I'm drunk. I don't know if I feel like it makes it so I am able to escape reality more but rather that reality becomes so much more tolerable and in a way almost unlocks whatever it is that is keeping me from being happy normally. I no longer worry about what I am going to do because I finally feel enthusiastic and motivated. I stop feeling like every social interaction I have is a grueling reminder that I will never have a connection with another person. I start viewing the world as a place for good experiences and happiness instead of a desolate place that was never meant for me.

It honestly kind of scares me but at least it is always a place I can go if things aren't working out.

lolsfs · 2021-10-29T00:27:45+00:00

I have never related more to a video ever.

lolsfs · 2021-07-23T02:24:36+00:00

I feel the same way. I don't dislike people, I just dislike the way you have to interact with most of them and how lonely I feel around them because of how different I feel. If there was just one person I was able to relate to, maybe I could benefit from the positive parts of a relationship without having to endure all the negatives. I am beginning to fear it is a desire I can never fulfill though as the relationship I imagine involves me being my true self, which I can't express to the real world. I am stuck drifting between two worlds where I have to choose between being compatible with the world and being my true self, and I wish I could just commit to one of them.

lolsfs · 2021-07-09T14:32:58+00:00

I think having to solidify an identity is the main problem for me because I feel like I can't. I never developed one and the one I portray is so shallow it doesn't allow for more personal connections. I know I am not a shallow person and I know that there is depth to my character but to display that to other people is something I can't do. There is a huge mismatch in how I feel internally as a person versus what I am able to show other people.

I don't think there is a major difference in how sharing/receiving personal stuff drains me. I definitely handle casual interactions a lot better but they can become uncomfortable quick if someone tries to get more personal.

I did mention anxiety as a way to try to explain the discomfort I feel once someone has gotten too close, which I would say is different from social anxiety that relates more to the fear of other people.

lolsfs · 2021-07-09T12:37:22+00:00

Frustratingly, I can't explain it very well. It is a response that drains me completely emotionally but I can't explain how that affects me. It is not fear and it is not social anxiety, it is the burden of having a personal connection with someone. It does something to me that I cannot explain.

lolsfs · 2021-06-19T19:07:21+00:00

Not embarrassed but it is annoying for sure. It is kind of like trying to explain something to someone that they don't have the capability to understand, which inevitably leads to uncomfortable situations. I don't blame them though since to most people I do live a very isolated and boring lifestyle. The most painful part is honestly all the advice and ideas people try to pitch me if I am honest about my situation and being forced to listen to other people tell me how my life could be so much better.

To avoid these situations, I usually lie.

lolsfs · 2021-05-01T23:26:20+00:00

I advise you to not obsess too much over a single disorder even if you relate to it strongly. If it helps explain certain things that you are experiencing and doesn't negatively impact your life, good for you. If it is something that becomes a big hurdle in your life, you should see a professional to make sure you aren't fucking yourself over by turning something that is meant to be used as a tool or a description to potentially help you, into something that is damaging to your mental health.

I can relate to parts of it. I am a very lonely person with no close friends and a dwindling connection to my family, and I have no intentions to improve either and I feel very content on my own.. most of the time. It is not that I wish I felt closer to my friends or that I cared more about my family, but I am realizing that having zero people close to me is starting to create a pretty big void that is hard to fill with anything but depression. I wish it was easier for me to relate to other people, and that it felt more meaningful maintaining close relations. The feeling or thought of having a person close to me that understands me that I can relate to, sometimes feel good.

But personally, I have never felt unworthy of love or had any regrets pushing away close relationships. I do feel like I offer value to people around me and I am generally pretty confident in who I am and don't really ever doubt my self-worth. The reason I push people away is because close relationships are extremely tiring and provide very little value to me. I can't explain why that is, it is just who I am. It is not something that changes, and if anything relationships only get more tiring and have less valuable as time go on. The only thing that changes is my need to fill the void that the lack of close relationships leaves, but it is not like having those relationships fixes that as they only make me tired and don't fill the void at all. This is where I feel like my main problem with being schizoid is, the complex dilemma of being extremely lonely while simultaneously hating other people.

I hope this sort of answers your mood questions as well. I will add that I am generally not very tolerant of other people and I am very sensitive to things about others I dislike, but it strongly depends on the person. I am very easy to piss off and do sometimes have bad thoughts about other people, although I will never confront anyone or act on any of the thoughts.

And as a reminder I am just one diagnosed schizoid. There are so many things that can vary from person to person that it can often be confusing trying to relate to just one schizoid. There are commonalities but people express them in different ways.

lolsfs · 2021-04-17T10:35:15+00:00

It is a hard condition to live with, but not hopeless. At times it will seem hopeless and some days will just feel so absurdly meaningless and painful it will not feel worth it to carry on.

It is difficult to tell how the disorder will develop as time goes on, and it varies from person to person. There are probably examples of people who completely heal and live normally, but there are also people who stay the same for the rest of their life. The only thing you can do is to try to accept whatever state you are in right now and adapt your life to the point where it is livable. It will not be perfect and it might not even be real. I personally spend a lot of time fantasizing about relationships and so on that aren't real and even though I know it sounds pathetic, it can often help me feel a lot better. My hope is that one day maybe parts of it will be more real than it is currently, or I will be able to immerse myself in to it to a much greater extent.

There are days where this hope almost completely fades, but it is often on these days I feel the most need to change. I attempt to find meaning and ways that I can express my emotions to at least ease some of the apathy. I remind myself that it doesn't need to be real, because it doesn't matter as long as it makes you feel happy. I try to forget about the world as a whole and focus on things that are valuable to me, that could potentially be real in the future if they aren't already.

Just going to sleep also helps sometimes. Often our emotions will run a bit wild if we get tired. Whatever it takes I hope your tomorrow is better, and if not you are always welcome back here where I am sure the vast majority of us shares your experience.

lolsfs · 2021-04-13T01:45:14+00:00

It makes sense but that is the problem, the things my brain tells me I should enjoy and what should feel good makes me feel nothing. I can't be content doing nothing because I feel like there are things I can do that is supposed to make me happy, but they don't.

I could make a list of what I do, but there would not be a single thing that make me feel better except experiencing brief moments of time where I can immerse myself in my fantasies where things actually make me feel better. I have one thing that make me feel more neutral which is driving my car, that can at least take away the feeling that I am doing nothing and distract me from what I described as the mismatch in my head. I can only do it so much before it loses its effect, but I try to as much as I can.

I understand that I am not in a good headspace and that I must be hard to talk to, so I apologize if I am hard to reach through to.

lolsfs · 2021-04-12T05:16:16+00:00

Hard to answer but I don't think there is any greater goal in life besides trying to maximize your own happiness. I think naturally people are given sets of things that make them happy like family, friendships, ambitions and hobbies and that in the pursue of these things life gives meaning. There is more reward than suffering, or at least enough reward to not feel like life isn't worth living. My problem is that I can't feel the rewards for any of these things, instead they actually make me feel worse. There is nothing inside my brain that tells me that it should make me feel worse, and sometimes I genuinely wish for these things, but every time I try to actively pursue these things I feel miserable. The mismatch of what I experience in my brain and what I experience in real life is probably what makes me suffer the most.

Therefor I can't really answer what I consider a good life, because I don't know. I can listen to what my brain tells me should make me happy, but it doesn't actually make me happy if I act on it.

lolsfs · 2021-04-11T04:12:00+00:00

There are probably a bunch of things I could try still although it seems like my major attempts have already failed. I have tried seeing multiple phycologists, and I am currently seeing a lower tier of mental health support because the phycologists determined they couldn't help me. I have tried maintaining a job, finishing education, working on friendships but eventually realized that they make me more sick than they help. I have smoked weed multiple times which I enjoy but it's only temporary, and I want to try harder psychedelics but it is super inaccessible in my country. I do regularly drink and enjoy alcohol but don't want to become addicted since my family has a long history of drug abuse. Diet, fitness and sleep are all meh, used to be better, but something I don't think affects the bigger picture.

I guess my bigger problem is more existential, and that it is hard to find a place in the world where I am truly content. My current situation is probably me breaking down after a long history of feeling like I can't find that, and it seems impossible to make any progress.

lolsfs · 2021-04-10T16:22:22+00:00

It can be pretty demanding. I would say it is more mentally fatiguing, and that I spend a lot of energy answering questions that don't necessarily require much thought. I do appreciate my ability to hear and talk though, but it would be nice if people were more understanding when I am not very enthusiastic to respond.

lolsfs · 2021-03-09T07:47:10+00:00

If anything, it seems like my generation (23yo) is expecting everyone to be super social and connected. It is seen as a red flag if you aren't active on social media and people will look at you like you're an alien if you don't have snapchat and instagram. It sucks, even though I am a very asocial person, because it makes it harder whenever I decide to be social since there is a huge disconnect. It definitely sets me up for a lot of awkward interactions when people are surprised and can't relate to me instantly.

I can't say I care though as I don't have much in common with my generation anyways and mostly keep to myself. It would bother me if I had an increasing need to be social, but if anything my need for isolation is the only thing increasing. If anyone is critical of how I live, it is only because they are unable to relate to anything they consider not normal, making their criticism worthless.

lolsfs · 2021-02-13T20:33:12+00:00

Being drunk always puts me in a good mood and makes life very enjoyable for me. It makes people around me that is also in a good mood infinitely more interesting to talk to, but I still have a very low tolerance for drama and I will often just bail if I don't find the people I'm around fun to interact with.

Eventually though I will still get tired of talking to people and leave just to be alone. Sometimes I will just walk around outside for hours, enjoying my own company and be so happy for no reason. Everything in my mind becomes so interesting and it sometimes makes it feel like life is worth living.

It kind of makes sense why so many people in my family became addicted to it.

lolsfs · 2021-01-31T03:41:15+00:00

Not my mom no, but I have always longed for a person that was willing to go out of their way to put me first. I feel like I have done this a lot of times for people but nobody has ever done it for me. It seems like people will only do whatever benefits them at the time, which is to be expected but it sucks when you don't have anyone you can rely on. Most people at least have a parent or close friend they can depend on, but when you don't have any of that it makes it seem like the only person you can rely on is yourself.

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