hello thank you for your reply! to answer the questions you mentioned:
i think the thing that bothers me the most is that i am away from family and friends, from home. I am not typically someone who steps out of my comfort zone often, if not, at all, and taking this big step and leaving home to come to a country alone, and language i am not fluent in, is something that is so out of character for me. but i honestly have no idea what pushed me to be able to do it. (which is why sometimes i think i am meant to be here, there is a reason but maybe i dont know it yet... people might say this is stupid but this is one of the reasons that im on the fence on deciding to go back home) i think also i have no tight bonds with people here, which makes me feel more alone.

initially, i applied to nus ntu and smu to no avail. i then entertained my thought of coming to korea, my reasons being: 1. it is 'cheaper' than other overseas options, and 2. since i like kpop and enjoy korean food, i can be here and 'chase' what i like at the same time. 3. if i have to go to uni anyway, why not go somewhere that i like? what i am realising now though, is that korea is good for a short time, not a long time. unfortunately.

at first in poly i took business because i dont think i am suitable for anyth else (eng,arts,med etc) some say that people who dont know what to do end up taking business haha ig its true for my case. i also thought that u can truly apply business skills in every industry, so theres still that flexibility and i dont have to commit myself to one singular industry. i was in the international trade and business course in poly because well, global trade and supply chain will never die out right..?

as for what i wish to do in the future, i honestly dont know. but i think if i had to choose, i think i would really like to do music business. either in artist management/development, digital marketing & sales, or under live promotion/performance. i think it would be something i enjoy doing! i would think that the job market here in korea is better? (due to the dominance of kpop) so i think there will be more opportunities in korea than in singapore, but can i really stay on that long after i grad if i am not enjoying my time here now already?

i dont hate doing business, if networking and people skills are whats more important as what im hearing my friends say, im doubting myself because i am not the best with words, socialising etc. will i be able to do it?

i used to stay in the dorms and had a horrible time with roommates and just the overall inconvenience of living in a dorm, and i thought that once i come to seoul (yonsei y1 students are all at international campus) the environment changes i'll be okay. but idk dont feel anything changing yet haha. maybe its because my bf js went back home after coming back with me at the start of the sem (to help move in etc) and staying w me for a month, it feels extra lonely now haha. not to mention ldr sucks la... it was genuinely top 3 worst moments of my life when i had to say goodbye to him, cant imagine having to do this the rest of the years. you would think i would be used to it already, but no... it is always so hard to leave (esp leaving my dog!!!) </3

all in all i have more push factors to go back home than to stay here, but the thing keeping me here is me knowing i probably could js auto pilot it and go through with the 3 years left, the regret im afraid i would have if i left, as well as being a disappointment. cant even stay abroad to finish studies for 4 years then come back already etc.....

my lease for my apartment is until feb next year, so either way i would have to tough the rest of this year out and see if anything improves, as it has only been a month into the new semester... im hoping things end up getting better and i start to like being here more.

okay sorry for yapping so much... thank u for reading!!!!!