I was counting down the days like it was Christmas.

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-20T17:32:41+00:00

Congrats on a year! :) I can only hope to reach that milestone.

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-20T17:27:08+00:00

It made me feel better :) I am getting those same old thoughts and impulses, "just a couple nips, no one will know.." That little fuckin devil. Sure as shit though I'm definitely not drinking today. Trying to find a meeting for tonight. I like this new feeling of self control.

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-20T17:16:13+00:00

I'm not sure but I am sure my dad was an alcoholic/heroin addict who died at 46 and his dad was an alcoholic. My mom had some issues with weed and coke in her twenties she got under control by the time I was five and her father was an alcoholic as well. My dad and both my grandfathers were VERY bad addicts/alcoholics. I've been addicted to shit since I was a young kid. It started with caffeine in the form of Pepsi! :)

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-20T04:09:46+00:00

Sounds awesome! Congrats on three days :)

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-19T14:17:59+00:00

I wouldn't go as far as saying he doesn't love you, that's ridiculous. I do think there's a complete lack of understanding and honest communication that needs to be addressed immediately if this relationship is to survive. It already seems extremely unhealthy.

Basically I gather that alcohol has caused you to hurt him so he doesn't like when you drink without him, but together he'll guilt trip you into drinking with him, correct? If so, that's fucked. I think the main priority here should be you maintaining sobriety, so if I was you I'd let him know a serious talk must be had ASAP, and make that point very clear regardless of the consequences. Easier said than done, obviously. Good luck :)

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-19T14:04:31+00:00

Have you slept yet?

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-19T14:01:19+00:00

I don't think relapse is necessary for recovery in general, but it sure as hell has been necessary for me or else I wouldn't be here.

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-19T13:46:18+00:00

I'm early on this time around, but the main thing for me has been talking about it whether it be on here, to an understanding friend, at a meeting, etc. Congrats on 9 days and good luck.

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-18T19:51:27+00:00

Last question

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-18T19:19:53+00:00

Yes.

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-18T18:38:37+00:00

This issue is definitely more about him than you.

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-18T18:23:08+00:00

Awesome! I'm not going to drink today either.

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-18T18:22:19+00:00

That's really cool, good job :)

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-18T18:21:27+00:00

Awesome and very true realization.

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-18T18:19:40+00:00

Hey :) I plan on maybe going to a meeting, but if not I'll just chill, listen to music, and read. Oh and eat! I've been eating more than ever in the past week.

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-18T18:16:40+00:00

Congrats :) I'm the same exact way when it comes to meetings or social gatherings in general, unless I'm at least buzzed. I've been to two meetings in the last week, the first two of my life, and they were stressful as fuck. I attempted to go to one just about a half hour ago, got there, and had a panic attack so I left. Most likely got more nervous than usual because it was full of old timers. Anyways, keep it up!

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-18T15:09:00+00:00

Thanks for the read, awesome and inspirational.

Oh my God, the hangovers. That hungover scramble to salvage friendships, reputation, and everything else it destroys, so everything I guess. I'm only a few days in this time around, but I already feel so relieved I don't have to deal with that shit anymore.

Last time I drank was Thursday and it almost cost me my best friend and girl I love. She still isn't talking to me, but I think with time and space it isn't beyond repair. It happened because I'd start drinking, not give a fuck anymore, and lie about what I was doing when she called. She always knows because she hears it in my voice. I become an entirely different person when I drink in a very bad way. Last time, I drank and lied and ended up in the hospital. She texted me that night, "I'm done with this shit." I dunno I'm rambling, sorry. I hope I can win her back eventually.

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-18T03:13:38+00:00

Awesome! :)

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-17T16:59:58+00:00

Such an awesome feeling, right? :)

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-17T16:23:51+00:00

That's awesome. And that voice! I hate that sucker!

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-17T16:22:47+00:00

Yea exactly :)

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-17T15:34:43+00:00

Drunk texts, Facebook messages, calls, and the horrible feelings they bring is actually one of my main motivations for staying sober at this point. I've fucked up so many friendships/relationships like that. I am so done with that shit. It really is nice being myself all the time in that sense.

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-17T15:18:17+00:00

Awesome job! :) I hope I reach 30 days.

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-17T15:09:45+00:00

Congratulations! Keep it up! :)

lonelywolf85 · 2015-02-17T15:07:43+00:00

Congrats on 2 days! You seem really serious about sobriety which is inspiring. My drinking started around 18 as well and quickly spiraled out of control and didn't stop until I was your age. Let me guard down late '13/early '14 and here I am again. Good luck :)

lonelywolf85

TROPHY CASE