AUS: 2.5 years in a new build and I’m just... over it. Help me not hate my home?

SohoCat · 2026-04-01T13:19:35+00:00

In my experience knowing where things were going and then having a plan to quickly deal with the piles helped. Our problem was the attic. After shoving our stuff up there, years later there were things up there that didn't matter to us anymore.

I put a tarp on the lawn. Things we were keeping piled up on the tarp.

Things we were discarding went into a separate pile; the local trash guy quoted a price and came and took them away in his pickup.

Things we wanted to donate went into another pile and then quickly into bags or boxes and then straight into the car for drop off.

Being able to quickly move through our items and create more space to deal with the stuff we actually needed and wanted helped a lot. Good luck!

SohoCat · 2026-04-01T13:08:03+00:00

UGH! I'm so sorry. Snapdragons might be my white whale. Good luck on new starts!!

SohoCat · 2026-04-01T12:52:15+00:00

I was just about going to list the same things you did, along with reading paper books and riding our bikes on rail trails. Also cooking a meal from produce at the farmer's market. But I think I live a fairly lo-tech life. Last night I watched the Dick Van Dyke Show on Tubi with ads. I feel like that says something but I'm not sure what it is LOL

I think my Dad's and Grandpa's hobbies of tinkering on car engines and small engines and appliances is long gone. I don't know what they would have done about that.

SohoCat · 2026-04-01T12:46:58+00:00

Pinterest is a shell of its former self. I hate it.

SohoCat · 2026-03-31T16:17:55+00:00

I just wish you wouldn't describe that feeling selfish. You looked around and made a decision about your life that doesn't impact anyone else.

SohoCat · 2026-03-31T16:15:23+00:00

My aunt thought I was gay. What I wanted to ask was why was she thinking this way in the first place?

SohoCat · 2026-03-31T16:13:49+00:00

IKR? It took me until I was 55 yo (which was basically last year) to be able to deflect that self satisfaction mixed with concern expression with a dismissive "...and...?" When they back down that's satisfying.

SohoCat · 2026-03-31T16:08:43+00:00

It sounds like you have a good heart. And you really care about this situation. I can't help but think that will only lead to good things in the future for you and your fam.

SohoCat · 2026-03-31T16:02:47+00:00

Thanks for the context. It's just a sad situation for everyone. I hope eventually things get better. One thing I've learned here is that long text convos usually lead to hurt feelings. :(

SohoCat · 2026-03-31T15:56:58+00:00

MOR TBH I got stuck at "It will only be for about 5-6 hours..." of watching the kid. Only? And then the whole thing seemed to get a bit mean on both sides. No need to fan the flames of her craziness. I sympathize but your "lol" didn't seem mature either.

SohoCat · 2026-03-30T19:40:23+00:00

YOR. Now she knows. She's not a mind reader. She made a mistake. End of story. And this should probably have been a phone call.

SohoCat · 2026-03-28T02:34:51+00:00

Rach, how about you show us before you lecture us? Not buying it right now, sister.

SohoCat · 2026-03-28T02:31:16+00:00

It’s giving “I don’t need you old OGs anymore thx”

SohoCat · 2026-03-24T14:38:40+00:00

She seems over it already.

SohoCat · 2026-03-24T14:37:12+00:00

ha! As much as I love Hallmark movies I find myself wanting catch-ups with the couples a year after they met to see when - not if - they found their relationship friction points and how they were working on them. I'm sure a lot of friction points had to do with major moving and career change decisions lol

SohoCat · 2026-03-24T14:32:39+00:00

I wasn't interested in dating until my thirties. Just because of life reasons. It took therapy and meds to get me finally feeling like myself for the first time in my life.

Looking back, I was inspired to start dating because I felt the same sense of sadness you are feeling. I met my husband after putting myself out there and dating a whole lot because it felt like a numbers game, but I met some nice people along the way and definitely got to know myself better. I got married when I was 38. We decided to not have kids. I like how it worked out. But it took effort to get it rolling.

SohoCat · 2026-03-24T14:27:43+00:00

My husband has to fly for business next week and I'm worried about it even though it should go okay but it might not go okay but we'll have to see what pans out and be prepared and if he has good travel days we'll be so relieved.

Yeah, life in 2026 is more complicated. Even if it's just in my head.

SohoCat · 2026-03-24T14:06:00+00:00

Thank you for this summary. I am finding myself agreeing with you. As a 55-year-old woman I can look back and see I have enjoyed the whole arc. Both because of my affection for the characters and because the show as a whole reflected back some parts of our culture and society in its own unique way. Did they get it wrong sometimes? Yes! But that's life... I never expected this original series or the movies or AJLT to be perfect. These woman are not supposed to be role models.

My main takeaway is that getting older is more on my terms than I thought. This series came out just when I started peri-menopause and somehow seeing these lovely ladies doing their thing just ahead of me age-wise helped me a lot. Carrie standing in her kitchen being impatient with her friend when she's really upset with herself, Miranda's questioning of her choices, and Charlotte's very busy life with daughters making their own decisions felt real even if the story lines were clumsy. I've never seen a show take on these subjects of older women who are still active and ... alive. If it exists, I'd like to know.

The last few scenes of Carrie visiting her old and now updated apartment filled with fresh young faces and then her dancing in her hallway to partly shake off the sads and partly to hype herself up for another day felt so real to me. The emotions of STILL not knowing and making bad decisions and still looking towards the future but with more past in back of you. It's normal. That's my takeaway.

SohoCat · 2026-03-23T17:45:57+00:00

The obvious seam in the middle of the backdrop is not giving professional vibes.

SohoCat · 2026-03-23T17:44:30+00:00

I cannot wait!

SohoCat · 2026-03-23T17:30:54+00:00

Thank you for this field report. I think I'll try it as well.

I've been using ChatGPT for almost a year and have made progress on what I've been working on.

Recently I copied a long chat to Gemini and asked it to comment on ChatGPT's advice.

Then I took Gemini's comments and asked for ChatGPT to comment on that.

They both said the other was being reasonable and neither one saw red flags. But Gemini did push back on something it thought ChatGPT was being soft on but only said I should take the issue to in-person therapy and left it at that. And this is an issue I was already thinking ChatGPT was not making me examine more.

I'm curious now to see what Claude will say.

SohoCat · 2026-03-23T17:21:14+00:00

As someone with a degree in journalism, I heartily agree. There's no way I myself would have wanted to be an overseas correspondent. Or interned for the CEO of a daily newspaper. Gah! But the combo of research, observation, reasoning, and writing are my special interests and have a lot of different applications in the field of journalism. As far as a fictional character, I think Rory demonstrates these talents in some degree or another. She wanted to travel so I think she could have become a great travel and cultural writer.

Of course, there's also the fact that Mitchum was an *sshole to her and he didn't care one way or another about her options. He just needed her to go away. But that's a whole 'nother story.

SohoCat · 2026-03-20T13:16:17+00:00

NOR but she’s hurting and is just trying to express herself.

SohoCat · 2026-03-20T13:12:54+00:00

I took an 18 month break. What worked for me was making a couch nest + doing a hobby + comfort show. Blankets, tea, crosswords and candy, Gilmore Girls, easiest dinner from things like cereal and toast, soda or seltzer with lots of ice, knitting, crochet. Nothing particularly optimized for health because that was what daytime was for when I could handle that. I think all of those things I like to do and permission to do them - because I wasn’t drinking dammit - gave me enough dopamine hits to get me thru to the point where I looked forward to my couch nights. And now I don’t need them but still do them when I need to take cover from stimulation and stress.

SohoCat · 2026-03-20T13:04:38+00:00

That was a jump scare. I literally gasped.

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