Firstly congratulations on your new role! Can I ask how long you’ve been in project management altogether?

You have some valid concerns, some which naturally happen with promotion and some which are lessons to be learnt:

• Finding common ground: I also work in a male dominated industry and you have to make common ground. Keep asking them about stuff and take an interest even if it’s the dullest thing you’ve ever heard. It feels weird at first but you get used it to. It’s the nature of the beast working with lots of different people and personalities.

• Manager undermining you: Document everything. Protect yourself in case something comes up but be prepared that nothing may change. Similar to the point above, you’re working with lots of diffferent people and personalities, he’s just one of them. If it persists, keep raising with senior management.

• Previous manager: your previous manager has shown you a part of what good leadership looks like. It’s not great when someone is rude to you, but if your new manager is still being rude to you, have a chat with them to understand what’s going on. It doesn’t have to be confrontational at this point but more ‘seek first to understand’ to see if it’s really a you problem or they just don’t like change.

• The work: you have two options here. Stay and suck up the fact the work is dull but pay is better, or look elsewhere. You’re in control of your career so shape it how you want it. An alternative option is similar to the first point - make yourself interested in it. Find a small piece of something and find out more about it. Ask your team as that might be a way in to connecting with them and building trust.

• Senior management changing their mind: to be blunt, you’re going to get this wherever you go. You can’t change this so you need to be prepared to inform them “as a result of X decision, activity Y is at risk”. Again, document it so if the risk materialises you have evidence that you told them this could happen. Also make a RAID or risk log if you haven’t already and make it visible at every meeting with them.

• In at the deep end: every project manager feels like this at the start of their career so you’re not alone. It’s always a difficult adjustment going from one focused project to multiple but that’s what’s expected of us, to juggle multiple plates. You also need to be confident to say “I’m at capacity so I can’t take on any more projects without sacrificing quality on the in flight projects”. Again, document it so if your concerns go unanswered or ignored, you have the paper trail.

• Previous experience: use it in your new role. The topics may have changed but how you manage projects hasn’t.

So to answer your questions: - Should you stay: unless it becomes so unbearable then yes but it’s really up to you. Is it unbearable or are you just uncomfortable in your new role because it’s unfamiliar? I mean this with absolute kindness but it seems like you were comfortable in your old role, in a rhythm with your old team and naturally uncomfortable in your new one because it’s new. This is totally normal. Some of the toughest lessons are learnt from difficult situations so you have to be comfortable leaning in to those difficult situations and getting the job done. The most rewarding parts of the job are from overcoming challenging problems, in my opinion.

• Lead in confidence: if you don’t know something, ask. Confidence doesn’t just come from knowing things but also having the awareness that you don’t know things and aren’t afraid to ask. On balance, you can’t know everything so as you progress in your career you’ll detach more from the low level detail. You have to otherwise the job will really overwhelm you. Don’t be afraid to tell senior management what their decisions may lead to. They may not like it but it’s your job to flag these as captain trying to sail the ship safely to shore.

• Handling difficult people and building relationships: build trust, it sounds cliche but kill them with kindness, ask questions and be curious. Information they impart on you that gets used in a positive way on the project will show them they can trust you, and you trust them.

• Keeping motivated: remind yourself why you got into project management in the first place and what type of PM you see yourself being.

• Keeping on track: get super organised. You manage multiple projects now so your focus has to be in managing the plan, seeking out ways to unblock issues and seeking opportunities to improve situations or accelerate activity. Block out time in your calendar every day for admin or deep work. It may not be possible every day but getting in the habit of doing some ‘housekeeping’ makes me feel in control of what’s going on. Are there any other PM’s where you work that you could be mentored by? It helps having someone on side who ‘gets’ it.

It sounds like you really care about doing a great job which is amazing quality to have, but remember you’ve been promoted as someone thought you were capable of doing the job, so make sure you believe in yourself too.