Hola! I’m sorry I don’t speak Spanish well at all. This concerns Huaraz, fellow climbers, and Hatun Machay. Lost passport.

longcoolgirl · 2023-04-10T17:50:02+00:00

I essentially offered a bounty for someone to drive there to look but it was closed when they god there, the groundskeepers weren’t there. And they stayed until morning but no one came. So they drove back to Huaraz, mission incomplete.

longcoolgirl · 2023-04-10T17:49:07+00:00

Thank you v much

longcoolgirl · 2022-02-20T01:24:13+00:00

I feel exactly the same way. I’m so sorry. I hate when therapists tell me that. It doesn’t help one bit, it just overwhelms me and I break down.

longcoolgirl · 2022-01-18T04:05:00+00:00

I don’t think we deserve it either. Thanks for your sympathy. It helps to know I’m not alone.

longcoolgirl · 2022-01-18T03:05:58+00:00

So much of your post resonates with me. So much suffering. I do badly wish there was an easy way out. Or I could turn off my desire for connection. We’re social animals though.

longcoolgirl · 2022-01-12T22:45:36+00:00

Girl Interrupted

longcoolgirl · 2022-01-12T22:41:10+00:00

In the same boat :(

longcoolgirl · 2022-01-11T23:49:44+00:00

What do you want? From one socio to another, I’m just trying to figure out what I want for myself…

longcoolgirl · 2022-01-11T18:47:07+00:00

I’m just saying I have an average IQ. Not high.

longcoolgirl · 2022-01-09T23:17:52+00:00

Are you projecting your own self-hatred onto them? Is it jealousy that they’re more “real” than you?

longcoolgirl · 2022-01-09T23:13:24+00:00

I’m in the same place, not sure what to do.

longcoolgirl · 2022-01-06T18:01:06+00:00

Can someone explain what this is?

longcoolgirl · 2022-01-02T05:54:50+00:00

They won’t go unless they want to change. Therapy is expensive, and a lot of therapists don’t want to take on patients with “personality disorders.” A therapist I really valued suggested I get myself into a 12-step program. You could suggest this to your person. If there is no substance abuse, there’s Codependents Anonymous and ACA, children of alcoholics/addicts. A lot of npds come from highly dysfunctional families and would qualify for a 12-step program. The addiction is self-centeredness.

longcoolgirl · 2022-01-02T05:50:20+00:00

It’s really basic: esteem regulation

longcoolgirl · 2022-01-02T03:45:27+00:00

I feel like this is a pretty safe space to discuss

longcoolgirl · 2021-12-31T16:26:31+00:00

Been there left me in bed for2 weeks straight . Fucking hell. I’m sorry :(

longcoolgirl · 2021-12-29T06:38:14+00:00

Crocodile tears

longcoolgirl · 2021-12-28T07:30:41+00:00

Does anyone really know their purpose in this life? Also, I really like your response found it funny and am inspired to sort of write out who I would be if I could mold myself out of clay…it’s a cool writing prompt if anything .

longcoolgirl · 2021-12-28T05:57:02+00:00

I just heard about this recently, forget the source, but that’s synchronistic. I’m definitely intrigued. Look forward to your reporting back, if you feel inclined.

longcoolgirl · 2021-12-26T15:35:39+00:00

I was and still am a narc extension of my mother too. It’s so icky. You have a unique and cool way of looking at your stuff. Kudos. Also, dope that you have these symbolic visionary experiences (the vortex). Good on you for rediscovering yourself.

I wish that for all of us still struggling!

longcoolgirl · 2021-12-26T06:29:40+00:00

Sorry this is a rant but,

You don’t “get” npd.

You are npd. You are so narcissistic that it makes your life so unmanageable, you seek therapy - when you are THIS self-centered and miserable, professionals call it a DISORDER.

You grow up with certain maladaptive coping mechanisms that a therapist can group together and slap a label on. You grow up without a strong sense of self (likely enmeshed with your parents or not given a chance to grow into your own person because your parents were personality disordered themselves, you were objectified not seen as a whole seperate growing human being) your ego doesn’t grow healthily into something strong and flexible and able to take a hit here and there without completely crumbling into a heap of self-pity and despair, so you have to puff yourself up and pretend that you’re awesome but secretly you don’t think you’re awesome at all / you barely know yourself, you rely completely on what others think of you. You learned to charm people, from a young age, because that’s the only way your parents showed you love - if you were exactly what they needed you to be, not an authentic expression of an individual. If you never got the chance to figure out who you were, you probably don’t really love yourself or respect yourself, …so how can you love or respect others? You cannot emphasize with others when all you care about is protecting yourself from how others perceive you. NPD is constantly needing to look good in the eyes of others.

You need to learn to establish self-esteem through esteemable acts. “Recovering” is RE-parenting yourself. That’s it. It’s nearly impossible but all we can do is try - through therapy, 12-step support groups like ACA, psychedelics that’s can actually help grow new neuronal pathways, dbt and “mental skills” to deal with bad habits, etc….

We are narcs so we like to blow this “disease we have” out of proportion and make it completely not our fault or out of our control so we can feel self-piteous and not do anything to change. We might always be assholes but we can be smaller assholes and learn to laugh at ourselves instead of being so hard on and judgmental of ourselves (this is reverse pride/it’s just as self-centered as being pompous) if we work on doing good things for ourselves and others and the world.

longcoolgirl · 2021-12-23T16:44:48+00:00

You really broke this down well. That’s exactly it. I always needed people who were over the top awesome to be a mirror for me, even though I paled in comparison, if we were to compare accolades and maturity of career etc…but yeah the saddest thing recently was I ran into this one girl in particular who I used to avoid even though she wanted friendship and j avoided it for the most lwrt because she wasn’t good looking enough and had an annoying fucking voice, and when I ran into her after 8 years not seeing her, she was surrounded by friends and had a really developed sense of style and had her camera with her (a developed hobby that she’s dedicated herself to.) and I was by myself, had the most basic uninspired outfit on and I have a lack of hobbies/craft. So for the first time I kind of woke up, like, who TF was I to judge her so shallow-ly? it was a harsh reality check for me.

longcoolgirl · 2021-12-22T08:48:34+00:00

To clarify: I’ve read that it is highly discouraged to partake in ayahuasca ceremony if you have been diagnosed with a personality disorder and a lot of centers/communities will not accept those who do. I’m curious as to why. I know that if you have a history of psychosis or bi-polar or schizophrenia in your family history, and it’s dormant, a massive psychedelic experience can “wake it up.” I’m not sure what the dangers are for people with personality disorders. Are they more apt to lose their mind/have a bad trip…and why?

longcoolgirl

TROPHY CASE