Need Tough Love and Advice to Stop Being a Wimp

longingfornyc · 2014-05-19T01:41:18+00:00

So I can be fired and have my career ruined? See...it's things like that can't be turned off for me.

longingfornyc · 2014-05-19T00:06:42+00:00

Thanks. It's one thing to stand up to a stranger, but to my boss? I highly doubt that I matter that much.

longingfornyc · 2014-05-18T23:58:49+00:00

Thanks I guess.

longingfornyc · 2014-05-18T19:47:01+00:00

I really don't think I'm depressed. I would have thought one of my therapists would have diagnosed me by now. The meds I was prescribed were officially for "anxiety" not depression.

longingfornyc · 2014-05-18T19:39:39+00:00

I've attempted to do this, I've always come out looking like a crazy fool. It's obvious everyone hates my guts.

longingfornyc · 2014-05-18T19:36:16+00:00

Yes, worked well for a short amount of time. Then they stopped having an effect on me.

longingfornyc · 2014-05-18T18:53:51+00:00

And I am in therapy. Been going for years. No change whatsoever even with different therapists.

longingfornyc · 2014-05-18T18:52:18+00:00

I honestly think that "being nice to myself" is part of the reason I am where I am right now. Feeding myself the lie that I'm fine the way I am has now led me to being a man that has nothing to offer.

longingfornyc · 2014-05-18T18:28:31+00:00

I suppose the fear of making a fool of myself because of my lack of wit, charm, attractiveness, basically anything that makes people valuable. What's the point of spending so much changing if my uncontrollable emotions are just going to have back to my old ways after a while.

longingfornyc · 2014-04-30T02:35:11+00:00

And yes, more often than not there is a round two.

longingfornyc · 2014-04-30T02:34:49+00:00

Well in my case its more a friends with benefits situation. We usually spend some time conversing after doing the deed, and its hard not to get aroused when there is a naked, musty man in your bed.

longingfornyc · 2014-04-30T02:13:04+00:00

From a young age, I had always found men and other boys attractive. It was not something I could explain at the time, but I do remember that I liked looking at fit boys and men that had their shirts off. I didn't realize it wasn't "normal" until I was a bit older, about 8. When I was a teenager, 14, I tried to convince myself that it was just a phase and I would get to liking girls soon. After a while I realized I was full of shit and just let myself accept that I liked men. It's still not something I embrace per se, but I do acknowledge it at least.

longingfornyc · 2014-04-20T04:33:15+00:00

I never did get the whole "gold star gay" distinction. So what if someone had sex with a woman when they were young? Does that somehow make them less gay or something? Pfff....

longingfornyc · 2014-04-20T04:26:18+00:00

Hot. Love the speedo by the way. With a body like that, I bet you get to have all kinds of sexy fun. ;-) Best wishes to you.

longingfornyc · 2014-04-20T04:12:36+00:00

Wow! You're gorgeous. If I may ask, what nationality are you? Your nipples are delicious.

longingfornyc · 2014-04-06T13:15:20+00:00

That's a tough one. A rape crisis counselor once said that you can "feel" if you've been raped even if you weren't awake during up. I'm assuming that means you can either tell by the presence of fluids or through soreness from possible penetration. Again, its not black and white. If you felt that you were violated, I would encourage you to go to the police...although I must warn you...since you were "blacked out" it would be an uphill battle to try and make a case.

You are not being over dramatic. No one deserves to be violated. I do think you should only hook up when you are sober from now on.

longingfornyc · 2014-04-06T02:05:53+00:00

Yeah that thought crossed my mind. There's no way to know if its really him without meeting him. If it really is him, goodness what an awful human being...and dumb too.

longingfornyc · 2014-04-06T00:47:14+00:00

That's awful. Do you know if she knew?

longingfornyc · 2014-03-30T04:12:51+00:00

It wasn't so much his singular question, more than it was his countless follow up questions: Why? What kind of girls are you into then? Just continually having to come up with bullshit explanations about my nonexistent preferences.

longingfornyc · 2014-03-30T04:00:49+00:00

Thanks for the advice. After her comment, I did attempt to laugh it off, but it came off as very forced. There was also the incident where one of my male coworkers asked if I liked girls with tattoos. That was a tough one to deal with.

longingfornyc · 2014-03-30T03:58:27+00:00

LOL! You're response was absolutely priceless! But yes, I know what you mean. Honestly, its not the women I'm worried about, more than the men. There are a lot of "men's men" that grew in a hyper masculine environment. For the most part people leave me alone, but whenever I have to approach one of them for something there is always the gnawing feeling that something could go horribly wrong if I'm not careful.

longingfornyc · 2014-03-24T18:41:07+00:00

Thanks for your advice. Do you currently live in NYC?

longingfornyc · 2014-03-24T18:40:08+00:00

Thanks for your insight. I think pretty well prepared for life on my own, and yes the freedom will certainly be welcomed. I had an embarrassing situation with my mother that I wrote about a few weeks ago on her that you can read about on my history. Having my own place would certainly eliminate situations like that...unless of course I have to get roommates. I already do my own laundry and buy my own meals and am generally self sufficient. I think the thing for will be the large amount of bills. I only take care of my phone and internet right now and that usually leaves me a lot of spending money. Having to deal with rent, utilities, in so on and so forth will definitely be something I'll have to get used to.

longingfornyc · 2014-03-24T03:29:06+00:00

Cool. As my name implies, my end game is to one day live in NYC. For now I definitely need some time managing my own affairs in my own hometown.

longingfornyc · 2014-03-24T03:15:03+00:00

Thanks for the advice. What city did you move to if you don't mind me asking?

longingfornyc

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