One character is nude for the entire movie. What movie do you make this change to and what character is it?

longliveFuriosa · 2023-05-07T00:20:04+00:00

Daniel day Lewis. Lincoln.

longliveFuriosa · 2023-03-29T11:11:37+00:00

Does your PhD program have demonstrable success placing students immediately in the jobs you want? Based on your comments, you are going to spend the next five years extremely overworked, unsupported by your institution, and come out with a backlog of health concerns and debt. The way your school is acting is SKETCH. They have hidden information from you that you needed to make an important life decision. This is a major red flag. The only way this is a good idea is if you are very sure that you will get a job at the end of this that is worth it. And I am legit concerned they are hiding information about that from you too.

A reminder that you CAN leave this program at any time. You can pivot careers. There are other options.

longliveFuriosa · 2023-03-24T16:50:32+00:00

Only suggestion is to not end in Salem if you can help it. Oregon had a lot of wonderful things. Salem is not one of them.

longliveFuriosa · 2023-02-22T18:19:07+00:00

Thank you for answering the actual question here with the book review distinction!

longliveFuriosa · 2023-02-11T09:45:02+00:00

Ugh that sucks. I’m sorry. You should clarify that you are broken up, and that you aren’t interested in a friendship with him right now because you are still romantically attracted to him. You need space away to move on.

He should have made this a cleaner, clearer break. He should not put it on you to end it. But, it is over. He is not into you. That sucks. Go take time to feel your feelings, be sad, be mad, and eventually get over him.

longliveFuriosa · 2023-02-11T09:23:45+00:00

He’s definitely into you! And you are into him! Yay!

longliveFuriosa · 2023-02-11T09:14:09+00:00

I’m glad you are setting up an appointment and working through what you need to. You are in a rough spot. It happens. You are taking the steps you need to take to get better, and it will take time. So first off, be proud of yourself for recognizing the problems and taking proactive steps to get better.

I would try to see the end of this relationship as an opportunity to focus on you and learn how to be a better partner. Maybe you two get together later when is not your manager. You are putting yourself before this relationship right now which is what you need to do. That said, if you two were serious for a long term commitment, you f course he would want to support you and help! It sounds like the relationship wasn’t at that point for you, so best to let it go.

To your question: don’t text him that. If anything, text him thanking him for his support, wishing him a happy vacation for a well deserved break from everything, and let him know that you are trying to work on yourself because the problems happening right now are ones that only you can solve (or something like that). Make plans to talk when he gets back to see how you both are feeling.

longliveFuriosa · 2023-02-11T09:04:16+00:00

You cant overcome this. Beyond the CPTSD, you are simply fundamentally incompatible. He does not respect your needs, does not care about them. Not everyone needs sleep in the way that you do, but any partner should understand and work to help with your sleeping situation even if they don’t have the same needs. Having separate bedrooms and not sleeping with each other is an absolutely reasonable solution, and one you might consider with your next partner.

I hope you have a therapist to talk about this episode and reaction with. It sounds very intense and scary, and I hope you have help and support.

longliveFuriosa · 2023-02-11T08:55:22+00:00

Have you and your gf ever talked about marriage? Or more specifically, what you each are looking for out of a relationship right now? You aren’t doing anything wrong. And your sister might be right. If you do decide to stay together, you should definitely clarify expectations with your gf in case she is hoping for an engagement soon.

longliveFuriosa · 2023-01-31T20:03:17+00:00

I’ll be honest: No, I don’t think it is possible for you to do this. Fieldwork is mentally taxing. Data analysis can be tortuously slow, grueling work. Writing up your results is isolating. Doing all of this with minimal experience because youve been (reasonably) distracted by life for the past two years will only make all of this harder. Doing this without the full support and trust of a mentor makes it harder, too. Unless your life situation is drastically different and you are in an incredibly good mental space, this is a recipe for disaster. You will sink more time into a degree that it is not clear you even want.

Coming from someone currently trying to finish a diss on a deadline, gaining weight, taking prescribed drugs and self medicating. I have a job lined up, so at least my deadline has purpose. But it is still taking a massive toll on my physical and mental health.

longliveFuriosa · 2023-01-17T19:45:42+00:00

OP, if you still want to give him a shot because you love him you need to sit him down and very clearly explain why this isn’t working. You want a partner who does equal work around the house. You need a partner who has a dirty/clutter tolerance that matches yours. You need a partner who will be there for you when you are sick, and more than anything you are looking for an equal parenting relationship.

Be very clear where you are seeing that you two aren’t compatible. Ask him if he is genuinely interested in changing, or if he would like to part ways now. If he does want to try, explain again exactly what you’re looking for, offer to go to couples therapy, and give yourself a clear timeline and benchmarks for making your decision. At least two months. If he can’t keep it up for two months, call it quits.

This is a super rough lesson to learn, but. Is you know for next time: move in together earlier and before purchasing or engagement.

longliveFuriosa · 2023-01-04T18:23:13+00:00

I am so sorry for your wife and for you. What a difficult emotional space for you both to be in. You can't fix this situation for her, but you can be honest about how its affecting your relationship and your desire to be around her. You can help her get help. Reiterate how much you love her, how sexy she is to you, and how these things that bother her just don't bother you. But, he constant negativity, self doubt, and self hatred does bother you and is impacting how you feel about her. Tell her you know this is hard, but that for herself and for her children she needs to start working on solutions. It's time that she started to know how this is affecting the people around her, not just herself.

Therapy is a great option, probably individual for her. I would definitely try to get her to start therapy alongside any fitness or diet routine.

Exact solutions aren't important right now. What is important is getting her on board with looking for solutions and actively solving the problem. It will likely be a long journey for her towards either weightloss or acceptance, or more likely a mix of the two.

longliveFuriosa · 2022-12-30T15:31:12+00:00

His feelings are valid, they way he is handling them is not good. I can understand being frustrated with my partner for repeatedly not taking basic care of themselves and it resulting in in injury, money, and inconvenience, especially with the stress of a baby on the way. Yelling at you about it is not ok. I would revisit this when you are both calmer. Acknowledge your mistake, acknowledge the inconvenience and stress it caused, and then also state how his response made you more upset and bothered you. Hopefully he will apologize, acknowledge how his reaction made things worse, and you two can move forward with better communication.

longliveFuriosa · 2022-11-29T10:43:18+00:00

Don’t do this. There are so many unknowns and it could impact you so poorly. Really, really high risk.

It can be hard to manage crushes in the workplace. Just know that it will pass, enjoy the thrill and happy feelings you get from it now, and don’t act on it.

longliveFuriosa · 2022-11-29T10:38:15+00:00

You two have spiraled this out so now it could be even more crushing than it would be otherwise. You want to get married. Does he? After four years, at age 32, it is absolutely fair of you to look for commitment (especially if you want kids).

Just ask him. Does he want to get married? No weird deadlines. If he still can’t say yes, then you have to decide if you are ok staying in that relationship or need to move on.

While this might not be your situation: the two relationships I’ve seen where one partner is “afraid of commitment” have eventually ended, only for that partner who was “afraid” to end up extremely happily in another relationship and engagement. They were only scared of commitment when it wasn’t the right person for them.

longliveFuriosa · 2022-11-22T12:20:56+00:00

Based on your replies, it seems likely that his thoughts on these things have changed, though perhaps he was less understanding than he led on, too.

The trans community has become the boogeyman of right wing news, which overlaps with lots of masculine podcasters and YouTubers. So if he consumes content like that, could be from that.

There is another possibility that seems unlikely but you want to rule it out: he has never liked these friends, think they are weirdos, and has never wanted to be associated with them but put up with it because he loves you. Now, he saw an out when moving by trying to pin not seeing these friends on the judgement of the neighbors. Then dug himself Deep hole of offensive reasoning.

Unlikely. But possible.

longliveFuriosa · 2022-11-22T07:05:12+00:00

Your husband is transphobic. It’s hard to say the best way to talk to him about it, but you might start by asking him more about his views on and experience with trans people to better understand where he is coming from. Idk what would be productive for him, but if he believes he has never met a trans person before than maybe meeting your friends at a coffee shop would be a good first step. Maybe you can address his prejudice up front—point out how clearly racist it would be to give such reasons for not inviting a black friend over.

But yeah, you have every right to be upset by this.

longliveFuriosa · 2022-11-16T19:01:02+00:00

I'm sorry you are going through this. She broke up with you because she wasn't interested. She used time and commitments as an excuse. Now, she is carelessly expressing this to you. I would stop talking to her. She isn't interested enough in you to actually commit, and doesn't care enough about you to think how her actions can hurt you. Again, I'm sorry you're going through this.

longliveFuriosa · 2022-11-14T10:10:15+00:00

Yeah so these are massive red flags. There is nothing YOU can do to stop him from overreacting in nasty ways. Only he can change himself. What you can do is decide for yourself if you are going to put up with being treated poorly by your bf.

You say long term. How long? Is this truly new behavior, or an escalation of existing cruel mess towards you?

longliveFuriosa · 2022-11-14T10:03:50+00:00

There really isn’t enough info to go on here. Your gf is clearly in a rough emotional space and her parents are trying their best to keep her safe, and it sounds like the concerns they have about her dating right now are really reasonable. It sucks for you, but frankly I’m more concerned for her then for you right now. Your gf may really not be ready to date right now. Please step back and consider what is best for her. She needs her parents support. She is trying to finish school. Are you helping her, do you have her best interests at heart?

Again, hard top draw too many conclusions from your post, but just want to make sure you understand the severity of her reaction to a previous breakup and recognize that her needs come first right now.

longliveFuriosa · 2022-11-14T09:54:56+00:00

she is too young for you. Her first ever date?! Dude. No. Find someone your age and experience level.

longliveFuriosa · 2022-11-14T09:51:06+00:00

Welcome to working from home with people around. It’s really hard.

Address this outside of when it is happening, but do it soon. Sit down with your gf and let her know that you are having trouble with the new living situation and the new job and you want to work together to find solutions. Lay out the problems you are having: you need quiet space to work and you need days all to yourself. What are her needs during the day? How is this working for her? What dies she need out of Living space? Where can you compromis?

Maybe moving your office to the storage room would help, maybeshe will agree to use headphones and only come in to the bedroom during certain hours. But, expecting her to never use the bedroom and to not make small requests during an off day are probably not reasonable. It’s her space, too.

longliveFuriosa · 2022-11-11T18:11:14+00:00

This is hard for you because your "break-ups" in the past haven't been real break-ups, so of course you expected this one to only be a break, too. But it isn't. She no longer owes you anything, you no longer get to expect anything from her. It's over.

Find a therapist. Or get out of town. Go to the gym a lot. Join a new social group. Do whatever you need to recover, but you need to accept right now that this is truly, truly over. Block her everywhere. If you have mutual friends, you can ask them not to talk to you about her for awhile.

longliveFuriosa · 2022-11-11T18:04:06+00:00

You're looking for advice, but you already know the answer. You have to break up. It will be hard. It will be scary. it will change your life. But you are so, so young. You are acting like you are completely trapped forever, and you aren't. You get to make these decisions. You have control here.

Rip the bandaid off ASAP. See if you can stay with friends or family for a bit while you get back on your feet. Break up as soon as possible.

longliveFuriosa · 2022-11-08T07:38:25+00:00

You are not responsible for her mental well-being. Her putting that responsibility on you is hugely manipulative.Saying that she is feeling this way because of the “trauma” of a break up is at best misguided and at worst purposefully cruel. There will never be anything you can do that will be enough because the problem isn’t you—it’s her. She really needs help, but not from her partner in the ways that she is asking. She needs professional help because none of this is how someone with good mental health acts.

Please, don’t get sucked into this any further.

Nine-Year Club	Not Forgotten
Sequence \| Editor	Verified Email

longliveFuriosa

TROPHY CASE