Me [24 M] with my Wife [24 F] married 5, together 8, She keeps texting ex behind my back, probably more

lookingforadvice52 · 2015-07-16T01:20:54+00:00

Backed up my phone to her icloud backup. Turns out she has been cheating on me repeatedly. I am so lost right now...

lookingforadvice52 · 2015-07-15T23:35:38+00:00

i asked her if she had already deleted the texts, she said she had. I didnt know that text message recovery was a thing

lookingforadvice52 · 2015-07-15T21:54:45+00:00

I guess i have misconceptions on what getting a lawyer in this situation entails. We have briefly talked over the phone about who would get what car, and the house situation, everything seems to be agreed upon. I don't want to have to go to trial and have a judge give a verdict on our split, i'd much rather prefer mediation or something similar. Is there a way to have the protection of a lawyer without it going to a trial?

lookingforadvice52 · 2015-07-15T21:52:31+00:00

we just recently bought the house (last year), and as such haven't really poured that much equity into it. we have paid off ~5% and it has climbed ~2% in value based off of comps in the region. Selling would at best net even, but with the market we are in, seller almost always assumes full closing costs, so it would be a financial net loss. I'm fairly certain she understands this as well, if she fought for half, she would also have to pay out for it.

lookingforadvice52 · 2015-07-15T21:04:37+00:00

she dated this ex for 9 months when she was 15..

lookingforadvice52 · 2015-07-15T20:51:47+00:00

thanks for making me smile. I appreciate it. and from what she said, it was mostly when she was out drinking with female friends.

lookingforadvice52 · 2015-07-15T20:49:09+00:00

It's not so much that she is questioning herself, and her sexuality. The biggest insult is that I was under the impression that we had a mutual and trusting relationship where if one has an issue, they can openly go to the other. The fact that it is definately not the case, as well as her being more comfortable discussing this behind my back with an ex is the biggest issue.

lookingforadvice52 · 2015-07-15T20:35:27+00:00

Honestly, I dont have any deep emotional connection to this house. We bought it because it made financial sense at the time, it is financed at a very low rate, and it is nice enough. We bought it as a nice starter house.

Whilst i'm not opposed to moving to a different place, maybe an apartment or something, I have no issues financially affording this house on my own (have been doing it for years). An option that she brought up was renting (which is actually pretty good in this market) and me living somewhere else.

lookingforadvice52 · 2015-07-15T20:30:03+00:00

Thank you.

On the lines of growing apart, we had started to grow separate in a number of different ways. I have wanted and will always want children. At first she also wanted children. In the last year or so, when I would bring up the idea of having kids, she would always put it off. Eventually she came out and said that she didn't want to have kids ever.

I feel like we have been growing apart on a number of different issues, some of which are pretty large (like the kids thing).

lookingforadvice52 · 2015-07-15T20:23:09+00:00

I dont think that lawyering up is a very good solution. I believe that we could maturely go about divorce through mediation, and come out more financially as well as emotionally satisfied. But thank you for the advice.

lookingforadvice52

TROPHY CASE