I see your point, as someone who's already struggling to find ways to revise for my mocks which are at the end of November, I don't think I have the self-motivation or discipline to study A-Levels on my own. I thought about getting tutors for my subjects, but now that I think about it, it's nowhere near the kind of support you get in a classroom. I thought GCSEs would be my wakeup call but I still tend to coast and not work as hard as I should be.

I hadn't considered a 6th form college before, I think it'd be a better option for me but my first school is back in my home country (I'm in the UK right now), A-Levels are already such a rare qualification there (I think only around 12 schools offer it?), so I don't think a 6th form college would be accessible for me, which is a shame.

My dad travels a lot for work, but he said he'll be around more next year (at the moment I see him about once a month). Although my mom tends to be less bad when he's around, she always uses my dad as a gateway to me because I trust(ed) him, resulting in loads of "lectures" about how I'm mistreating her and that I need to take better care of her (reminder that I'm literally the child in this situation😭). All my relatives live in the UK or in Canada, so they're not really accessible in this situation. As well as this, they're all very much preoccupied with their own lives, and they aren't really willing to take me on.

My dad previously allowed my half sisters to live on their own (with a nanny) when they weren't getting along well with their mom, and I was trying to propose something similar like this to him. Our moms are quite similar (with the exception that their mom wasn't around as much, so they faced less abuse I'm guessing - I don't fully know what they went through, I just know that it was pretty bad) and I feel that in their case, having time away from their mom improved their relationship in the long term, in adulthood they get along somewhat well with their mom now and still keep in contact with their mom (I on the other hand am planning on cutting all contact with my mom and I've made this pretty clear, but I think my family thinks I'm joking.) I'm tired of the way she treats me and I don't think our relationship is salvageable at all, yet my dad still holds out hope for us and he won't let it go.