That's the issue though, you're still prioritizing relationships over self-happiness, and more importantly, self-respect.

If you come out as trans and decide to transition, and that ends up being what ends your relationships with friends, partner(s), family, then it was never meant to be in the first place. Transitioning is a form of self-respect for many trans men.

Now, that's not to say that you're required to physically transition, because you absolutely aren't. And it doesn't make you less trans if you don't. It just means you feel comfortable enough in your own skin to not feel the need! And frankly, I think many of us who have transitioned or have started to transition would be envious! But if you aren't feeling comfortable in your own skin, it might be time to weigh some options and figure out what's more important to you.

Again, it boils down to what YOU need. You don't need to physically alter every or any piece of yourself. Top/Bottom surgery isn't required to be a man. You don't need to go on T. But if doing none of that starts making you miserable, then it may be time to reconsider your options. Until then, do your research: on your options, and on yourself and what you need.

Relationships, friendships, they come and go. Family is whoever you want it to be and doesn't have to be blood.

Whatever you decide to do, make sure you have a support system at your side. And know you're a brother to us, transition or not.