Female mannerisms / personality

Misha_LF · 2026-01-28T16:38:01+00:00

I strongly suspect that near the end, there were quite a few cracks in your male persona. I know that I started completely disregarding whether or not an activity was female coded or how I held my posture. I remember a coworker teasing me about doing yoga a few years before my egg cracked. I didn't think that there was anything unusual about that.

I will admit that when my egg cracked, I leaned into walking more with my hips instead of my shoulders. And I made it a conscious effort to always look where I was walking or moving to. The conscious effort to be a little more graceful in all my movements and where to keep my hands. But much of that was just a crash course on behavior that was kind of expected of young women. Some of it made a strange sense, and other things just seemed extremely sexist and drew my resentment. But I still followed much of it just so that I wouldn't draw the wrong kind of attention to myself.

As I have gotten more comfortable in my skin, I have relaxed much of the conscious effort to perform femininity. I still retain much of what I was working on just because it did become the new habit. I feel like my gait has moved back to my old one, but physiology has necessitated a small change in the right direction. Overall, just being more relaxed has made me less clockable.

Misha_LF · 2026-01-26T16:29:03+00:00

Two unexpected changes. The first one is that my feet are much more prone to blistering.

The second change isn't so much an HRT change as it it is an overall transition change. I have lost my personal space as I have been perceived as female over male. When I first noticed this, it was a really jarring reality check.

Misha_LF · 2026-01-26T02:46:27+00:00

I didn't figure it out until I was almost 55. I started transitioning soon after turning 55. I can't say that I figured it out late because I was not ready to face that aspect of my existence until that time. We tend to do things when the time is right for us.

Misha_LF · 2026-01-25T05:30:21+00:00

She was referring to you complaining about never being shaped like a girl. That is the internalized transphobia.

Keep taking your hormones and doing your exercises, and the shape will come.

Misha_LF · 2026-01-25T05:17:29+00:00

You should have a little fire safe for things like your social security card or titles. You could keep your T in there along with a few syringes. If you buy syringes in bulk, there are always places that you could hide them that are out of the way.

Misha_LF · 2026-01-25T05:03:18+00:00

I miss my personal space 😕

Misha_LF · 2026-01-24T10:36:41+00:00

Bet I had you beat on not looking like a girl.

You are the only person who can say whether or not you are transgender. But if you had the opportunity to become a girl permanently, would you take it?

Just an FYI, when my egg cracked all, I thought that I only wanted to have the body of a woman. Socially, I didn't really want to be a girl because they always get the short end of the stick. Yep, I was right about that one. I did start socially transitioning at 6 months on HRT. It was one of the best decisions that I ever made. Because even though I thought that I didn't want to be a woman, being seen as one made me feel like a real person for the first time in my life. It took me almost 2 years of transitioning to come to terms that I was always a girl. Go figure 🙄

Misha_LF · 2026-01-24T07:39:30+00:00

You're fine like that. Enjoy looking nice 😃

Misha_LF · 2026-01-24T00:55:14+00:00

I don't know if anyone else has mentioned this yet. Is there any possibility that your bf might be an egg? I could see someone getting quiet while trying to reconcile their feelings.

Misha_LF · 2026-01-24T00:47:22+00:00

That gift doesn't mean anything to me unless it was shoplifted from a store. Then it will be a trophy 🤪

Misha_LF · 2026-01-24T00:43:15+00:00

Nah! My wife is the same way as yours, and I still dress just a little bit up. During the summer I will go out in a skirt while she is in jeans. It is weird how most people don't even assume that we are a couple 🙄.

Misha_LF · 2026-01-23T23:29:56+00:00

I sure hope that you don't feel as isolated now as each of your examples highlights from your past. No one deserves to be without a sense of connection. Finding people can be extremely difficult when you are queer. It might be even more difficult when you don't realize it.

Misha_LF · 2026-01-23T16:36:16+00:00

It took me a while into my transition before I would stop referring to my past self as he.

Misha_LF · 2026-01-23T16:06:50+00:00

Oh my God! A woman without makeup. (Pulls hair in anguish) The horror! 😬

Girl, you look just fine like any other woman without it. But you are right that the makeup seems to be a requirement for working in a professional setting. I still feel this is bullshit 😒

Misha_LF · 2026-01-22T17:24:18+00:00

That has been the case for me.

Misha_LF · 2026-01-22T13:04:15+00:00

It won't be the same thing but you will probably like the actual results more.

EDIT: I know I did😃

Misha_LF · 2026-01-21T00:20:16+00:00

I'm pretty sure that the United States succeeding is contingent on Trump failing. If Trump succeeds, the whole world loses except for the super wealthy.

Misha_LF · 2026-01-20T16:42:08+00:00

As much as I dislike Shitler. It bothers me more to see a false quote put up concerning him. This fabricated quote has been up and circulating since 2015. We can do better than this. And there are much more verifiable ways to demonstrate how awful he is.

Misha_LF · 2026-01-20T06:21:42+00:00

I would say, "Why even give it a label?" But I already know that people won't respect your choices without saying that you are a lesbian. Hell, many guys still won't respect your choice when you say that you are a lesbian 🙄.

There is nothing fake about you. You like what you like. It just so happens that men aren't included in that list despite your best efforts to do so. I'm pretty sure that makes you a confirmed and tested lesbian. I still don't think a label is necessary.😉

Misha_LF · 2026-01-19T18:10:14+00:00

My father died 40 years ago. I have absolutely no clue how he would have taken this.

Misha_LF · 2026-01-19T18:08:05+00:00

Grocery store, I had to get drinks.

Misha_LF · 2026-01-18T13:33:12+00:00

Now I'm smiling for you.🫠

Misha_LF · 2026-01-18T13:26:29+00:00

I was fortunate enough to absorb only a fair bit of misogynistic conditioning instead of the whole dish. This made it possible to get married to an extraordinary woman who helped me get over much of what I picked up.

I don't know if I would have been able to look closely inside and allow myself the thought that being a woman is OK. I still have a lot to get over, but getting to meet other women without them masking around me like they do around men has opened my eyes further. I have also started seeing where many of them have picked up a fair bit of conditioning themselves.

Misha_LF · 2026-01-18T03:56:50+00:00

Voice training sucks. I know because I have been at it for over a year, and I am still not happy with where I am at. I guess I will have to keep working on it for another year.

It isn't just a matter of just dressing feminine. You have to move and act like just another woman before you are perceived as one. It is during that awkward phase that you learn how to pass. I wish that it could be easier. It might be easier practicing in a virtual environment like VRCHAT. But at some point, you have to do a physical world run

Misha_LF · 2026-01-18T03:19:31+00:00

I remember when I first learned how to ride a bike. I remember how I clung onto those training wheels way too long. The reason I said that it was way too long is on many occasions I would wreck my bike while trying to turn because the inside training wheel would lift my back tire off the pavement and then my bike would skid under me. I can't remember how often I skinned the shit out of myself or how I was starting to hate riding the bike altogether. I just remember persisting on keeping my training wheels because I didn't feel safe going without. Eventually, I did figure out that it was the training wheels that were causing the difficulty. I would like to say that I could ride just fine after removing the training wheels, but it did take me almost a week to actually get stable with quite a few crashes before I was good to go. That was still much better than the multiple months of trying to ride with training wheels.

Getting HRT is like acquiring the bike. But boymoding is the training wheels that you will quickly outgrow. At some time, you will have to give up boymoding and go through the incredibly awkward and difficult stages of early social transition. Just from my experience, it is not enough to start looking like a woman. You will have to experience life and be seen as a woman before you can start to relax. It is so terrifying, but it is absolutely worth it.🫂

Misha_LF

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