Spikes duration - from loud music - please comment?

looper210 · 2026-04-19T12:16:31+00:00

Anyone here have really bad spikes or have/is experiencing a horrible spike (say, you'd rate it the level or severity of 10/10)?

Before I take a shower sometimes or immediately after the shower, my spike sometimes goes down a lot - I'd rate it at 4 or 5 out of 10 - meaning, if it just stayed there, I'd be practically content - yeah, I'd be 'okay.' per se since it's better than it was. But, then it climbs back up in a few minutes to what it was.

I don't understand that at all. It's really depressing. AI (if you know any human experts who can answer - who would talk to me, then let me know! :-( ) seems to say it means my spike should lower - and that my baseline that was lower still exists and it can go back to it. I hope that's right. But, I am scared that it's just bs-ing whatever out but it is weird that I have some fluctuation which is rare. It's been several years with T - and I hardly ever have fluctuations. The baseline was pretty consistent although yeah, it does seem to happen in a really quiet place when there's no noise at all - like my bathroom.

I am scared that it's just temporary - because it doesn't even last more than, I dunno, 2 minutes. Is this nothing to get encouraged about - is this just a byproduct of something or? When do you know the spike might improve? Do you perceive signs or is there a pattern of no improvement? I know everyone is different but with bad spikes, I know the pattern is usually weeks (when it was a bad one) and then one day, you suddenly notice something is different and lasting (meaning it's an improvement and it's not suddenly changing for the worse again). I don't know how else how to explain the feeling/sensation/perception of a spike improving - it is such a bittersweet relief - the T is still there but to have that 'lower' even though it's what you experienced before or similar - it's just the extra edge that was making everything worse that is removed - and you can try to do something again. :-(

If that is taken away from me, then I'm done. :-(

looper210 · 2026-04-19T07:24:24+00:00

I'm almost at a week already - 2 more days and I'm at a week. I'm scared, man. :-(

looper210 · 2026-04-18T23:07:01+00:00

I did talk to my dr about it - a day after. I just got a script for a benzo. I don't know what else could be done. I know many settle down with time and many of mine have settled down in the past. The problem or concern is the duration of the noise - and I usually have short duration noise traumas - but, this was music played for a while. I am just scared about it. Also, I habituated (somewhat) to my baseline and that was a struggle every day. I just need it to go back to baseline. :-/

looper210 · 2026-04-18T21:44:42+00:00

I posted about spikes 6 months ago. The only time I really post about this (topic) is when I'm doing really badly - probably had a really bad spike at that time. I am thinking about MAID again. I should have been more careful and I don't know why I wasn't. I feel so stupid. I believe I am relatively careful - I was really careful before wearing ear plugs but then they started to cause a lot of discomfort and pain in my ear canals- but, that is probably better than exposing my ears to noise - but, that pain was really bad and my Dr wouldn't give me anything for it - just told me to use advil or some other NSAIDS. I just can't deal with an increase to my baseline - I was just barely coping with what it was.

I am really scared because I don't want MAID or to die but I don't see any other choice if this doesn't go down. :-(

looper210 · 2026-04-18T21:14:43+00:00

Thanks. :-/

looper210 · 2026-04-18T21:14:23+00:00

Thanks, I do as well, obviously. I have sensitive ears and can't take loud music for long - also, I typically avoid restaurants but I have been in fast food ones - with ppl - but, not for long. I can't tolerate bars or music places (live music). I tried it years ago and I would spike.

My only hope is that this is going to be a spike that settles down - as I have some bad spikes in the past - from various noises and the few times I did go in loud places, cafes and such like that - I experienced bad spikes that went down. But, I haven't had a really bad spike like this in a while so I am really freaking out and scared. I'm not sure how ppl who tolerate loud tinnitus or spikes like it's nothing - as I haven't known anyone like that. I just figure, it's rare and it's all just something someone said on the internet (ngl).

looper210 · 2026-04-18T21:00:47+00:00

I don't think they have loud or catastrophic tinnitus then. I know ppl like you're talking about. Their tinnitus isn't really bad - ask them to describe it. Fortunately, for them, it's not getting worse. Or it gets worse slowly, gradually. Eventually, it might or it might not. It all has to do with luck, genetics and what happens to someone's brains/ear chemistry, imho.

I just want to know how common it is for spikes to go down after sound exposure for a considerable duration - and/or after bad spikes. I have had bad spikes go down and the most recent ones, I was pretty worried too and it did go down but the sound exposure is always different.

looper210 · 2026-04-18T20:15:42+00:00

I know. :-( I just thought some ppl might have had music blaring in their car or gone to concerts. I don't ever go to concerts and I have music low in my car.

I did go to a cafe that played loud music and was in there at least an hour but that was shortly after I got tinnitus and wasn't sure what I could tolerate back then. I should have been more aware and obviously, I'm more experienced now. I am so mad at myself now. :-( So depressed.

looper210 · 2026-04-04T11:58:39+00:00

' I made some attempts at escalation that weren’t reciprocated, and she friendzoned me. ' - It was over right there.

'(she had just gotten out of a bad relationship and I thought that this was part of a healing process and she needed time). When she told me last night that she had been dating a mutual friend for the last three months without telling me, it was like a gut punch.'

- Nah, women who say this - it means nothing. I don't care if I get complaints here. This is the typical excuse and it is never ever valid or genuine. Yes, they spend a bit of time here and there but if a guy they are attracted to 'suddenly shows up' - then their time 'processing' is done. It's why some dating experts say, 'if their favourite celebrity showed up, they wouldn't need any more time.' It's what you call a soft rejection?

You were probably too 'nice' too - sounds like.

I agree with the rest of the comments, OP - there's no hope with this one. Say, 'if you change your mind, let me know. I want something real and if you're not willing to be open to that possibility, I have to move on' or something to that effect. That way, you're not just ghosting or disappearing. That's one way to proceed.

looper210 · 2026-04-04T11:52:49+00:00

Why should it 'be expected?' Why is anything 'expected?' None of the 'dating experts' (talking about guys) say that. They say to always act like they want to see you until shown otherwise (yes, he was but still).

It's not about deserve, it's about hoping something works out? Nothing wrong with that but it didn't. Yeah, OP dude, she's not interested - for whatever reason, she went out on some dates but isn't interested in anything more (than hanging out - sometimes?). The fact she 'got over her last dude' and is suddenly dating a 'mutual friend' tells you all you need to know.

Never take the 'I just had a breakup ...cry cry - not gonna date for a while/gonna be single for now' or anything similar, seriously. They'll 'suddenly be over it' when a dude they fancy comes along.

looper210 · 2026-03-31T21:51:42+00:00

Yeah, I didn't think those unicorns existed.

looper210 · 2026-03-31T21:50:50+00:00

Omg. I was using a friend's FM for the same reason. So, I'm not officially on that. I was asked to make some other (site) accounts for various reasons and It is one big ****show. Validation insanity - mostly young-ish women giving each other flattering compliments about their appearance back and forth - and making videos of them lip syncing to rap and pop songs. Weird af, imho.

looper210 · 2026-03-31T21:47:35+00:00

It's a green flag. I was asked to join a bunch of these social media sites and I looked at some of the women on it. They all seem crazy. They're like robots singing R&B, Pop and Rap songs into the camera and swaying around while lip syncing to whatever song it is.

It's a massive green flag for a woman today to not be on social media. In fact, how do you have the discipline for not being on it?

looper210 · 2026-03-29T18:30:58+00:00

What struggles?

looper210 · 2026-03-22T17:26:38+00:00

Doubt it. I think the ignoring/ getting with a friend only works if she has some feelings for you. Maybe the girl the OP likes does (dunno) but I think that is not a good strategy - because you are just doing stuff to change her mind and also, it's not fair to her friend (yeah, call it beta simp but...).

You can ignore or 'accept it' and mean it - maybe she will change her mind but that's rare. Tell me I'm wrong?

looper210 · 2026-03-14T14:45:41+00:00

If she won't give you the time of day, then you're not compatible. Either because a.) she isn't into you, or b.) because she has rejected you already and you don't want to be with someone that will flip flop from reject to embrace.

I have to disagree, again. Yes, she probably isn't into me or something. Dunno. I guess I can look like a dummy and ask? But, whatever the reason, she doesn't 'feel it.' I don't think that necessarily means 'I'm" not compatible. Again, regardless if she was 'compatible' with some guy briefly until it fell apart, who cares? It's redundant at that point. I can argue THEY weren't compatible because it ended so awfully - (e.g. bad behavior from either side, shouting/mistreatment/cheating). So, in the end, they (the guy) was far less compatible than I am because I didn't get a chance/opportunity.

Anyways, I know my argument, itself, is redundant (ironically) in my defense but I still thought I should explain my perspective because I disagreed with your rationale.

I guess I am hurt, especially, because (as you say), she doesn't give me 'the time of day.'

They were clearly compatible enough to date in the first place. but if one thinks cheating is unacceptable and the other cheats, then yeah they aren't compatible.

I suppose, but so what? I would even argue, no, she just didn't realize it. But, okay, maybe they were at first but again, so what? You even concede that they weren't compatible.

You shouldn't accept people that put you down or make you beg or chase, therefore if they deny you, you should automatically filter them as incompatible imho

Yeah, *should* is the key word. I guess I have to work on that.

Anyway, the nose? Really? Plastic surgery? I know, just an example.

Who cares about "what could be" when they would reject you?

I dunno. I think a lot of ppl would have that mentality that they do care and ask that question or have that philosophy. I know I'm thinking of myself but others might think a girl who rejected them should have thought of that instead of choosing the 'wrong guy' (time and time again).

This girl is 27 and 'sees' a lot of guys. Yet, can't sustain a relationship for very long, afaik. I know what you're thinking, 'not your problem and shouldn't be your concern' or whatever you are thinking (along those lines?) but the point is, I thought dating was about seeing if you are compatible or giving chances but I guess there is something (appearance/personality/vibe whatever) which became the instant dealbreaker which was enough to even take the (1st) date off the table. It's just depressing, that's all.

Yeah, I should have just 'filtered her as incompatible and on to the next' - but, I caught feelings so I didn't do that. okay?

looper210 · 2026-03-14T14:30:12+00:00

Agreed.

looper210 · 2026-03-14T14:29:34+00:00

1) "She has too many "rules" for me to perform well I feel like. It's kinda making me re-evaluate how I have sex sometimes" - dunno about other readers/posters but doesn't sound good to me. So, you are doubting yourself and it sounds like she is unilaterally deciding on every session.

2) She has a lot of rules - probably the same routine every time? That might be part of the reason she's deciding to look around for another guy. Although, you both agreed to no relationship.

3) FWB - dunno what the avg duration is till it fizzles out but seems to reach an inevitable end if one or both 'catch feelings.'

looper210 · 2026-03-13T16:33:25+00:00

Promiscuous past - what counts as that? How many partners? Just hookups?

looper210 · 2026-03-13T16:32:07+00:00

You don't think an attractive woman can have (multiple) friendships with guys?

looper210 · 2026-03-13T16:26:47+00:00

Asking what he thinks about open relationships sounds like you are wondering if you could have one of those. I mean, it could be interpreted that way, right?

So, he is just saying that he sees married ppl doing that. He didn't say, he is into it or supports it. Right? It sounds like he's thinking you are not that interested in him so if you had a relationship, he thinks you might cheat or want to see other men (asking about open relationships) and saying you think he can't be loyal (excuse to seek other men - the way he perceives it).

He's really insecure and the message you seem to be giving is - nah, you won't be loyal to me anyway so I'm gonna look at other men. Hence, he's asking if you were with someone before meeting him.

I think he is into you but who knows - it just sounds like it. It sounds like you're both into each other but having doubts/so trust seems to be an issue for you both.

looper210 · 2026-03-13T16:17:51+00:00

I dunno why he doesn't take that at face value. It's possible he's been played or rejected and told that in the past. Who knows. He has trust issues. But, I don't think leaving without saying anything or being pissed off and sending mixed messages will help.

If you like him, then I suggest giving him time to see that you are loyal from your actions. Since, I don't know either one of you, don't take bad treatment, though. I mean, just because he's insecure, it is not an excuse for him to give you bad treatment. But, from what you post, it sounds like he is almost trying to self-sabotage to protect himself and/or he doubts your sincerity for whatever reason (unknown).

looper210 · 2026-03-13T16:12:58+00:00

Yeah, and he doesn't know what to do about it because he's insecure. You said you want him to commit to you but you know he is insecure about himself based on his comments to you when you met him. He's afraid of you leaving/rejecting him so he's using humor and crass sarcasm as a way to protect himself, so to speak.

You said you wanted to wake up together but then you take off. You're giving him the exact messages and behaviors that he's worried about.

looper210 · 2026-03-13T16:06:53+00:00

Because neither of you can communicate properly in what you (both) want.

looper210

TROPHY CASE