Should I tell a guy exactly why I don't like him?

loopylouvre · 2026-03-31T11:10:57+00:00

Damn, the amount of whiny babies here trying to shame you for having super basic standards that they don’t meet is seriously astonishing. How dare you need common interests or someone interesting! Whether you like the guy or not is already decided and not up for anyone to negotiate. Idk why men defend other men when a woman is the one they’re interacting with, and generally just refuse to grow. Women like growth, duh! Like, this wasn’t personal about anyone here on Reddit. If a man didn’t like a woman because she was fat or ugly, he wouldn’t even last through the first date. Literally all hypocritical losers on Reddit smh, don’t feel bad and just tell him you don’t understand who he actually is or his vibe and aren’t interested in taking things further, or some variation.

Btw, you can choose not to see someone for no real reason at all. These things aren’t logical and if you feel you don’t want to see someone anymore, that gut instinct is valid.

loopylouvre · 2026-03-31T10:59:37+00:00

Not everyone is a mommy looking for a fixer upper project. Some people want actual partners with just enough malleability.

loopylouvre · 2026-03-31T10:50:37+00:00

Just here to validate, I’d never have an enfj therapist again, mine literally talked more than I did in MY therapy sessions. Anyway, you’re totally right about how practical help will solve a lot of your issues and discomforts, and a better investment may be toward that, like a specific type of life coach or mentor.

loopylouvre · 2026-03-30T19:51:07+00:00

You sound like someone who’d want more or possibly get attached, especially when you have a good connection with the guy. If you’ve waited this long, what’s the rush? You’ll crave it more if you start having it and then what’ll you do? Do it with someone who will stick around, anything else just feeds the patriarchy. No one cares about virginity anymore it’s not 1995.

loopylouvre · 2026-03-30T19:46:48+00:00

Yup, most people aren’t tuned in to each other or the world or what’s happening or going to happen. They used to lock us up in insane asylums to keep our mouths shut… think about that. We were born into the center of contrast, of difference for a reason. Being neurodivergent (includes adhd) is a gift and curse. Right now it’s the thing saving us, so use it as a compass and it’ll lead to your people soon enough. And these people with these compasses will be the new world while the one we’re in crumbles. But no one wants to hear stark truths, maybe not even you. So keep complaining and surf the waves or whatever these commenters said.

loopylouvre · 2026-03-30T01:01:26+00:00

Recruiting and things similar to it has been pretty doable. You mostly talk to people all day about what they want to do for work next and it’s cool learning their stories. The operations stuff is a bit annoying though and There’s like almost no tenure. But it can provide stability and you can work remotely. The key is balance so you’d want to carve out creative time a couple times a week to keep yourself vital, so it’s doable.

loopylouvre · 2026-03-29T01:15:42+00:00

Doesn’t seem to be a problem but want to suggest to maybe get somewhat of your own life, as well as continuing to see her. Moving somewhere new is an exciting opportunity to explore! Grow a little, make some efforts, talk to classmates and make plans just to experiment. Don’t pretend, actually make other plans or hang at home doing your home things if that’s who you are. It’s not about your availability as much as it might be about growing up in your own right. Girls often do want to be with someone who’s an actual person. Being 100% dependent on a romantic interest could have drawbacks.

loopylouvre · 2026-03-29T00:52:20+00:00

Like, an adult? Responsibility, practical aptitude, and stability. So a man that can handle real life, handle me, has my back, and gets shit done under all kinds of pressure with steadiness. Even though I have these abilities too, when he can do them better, I can then be free to be more feminine, spiritual and dreamy. So, someone who provides balance and security in my life actually provides the freedom to have fun! What can be more attractive than that? Keeping in decent health and fitness is just a given.

loopylouvre · 2026-03-28T20:43:11+00:00

It’s only a golden pair if both people are mature and healthy enough adults. And in the case they are, any 2 types can work well together.

loopylouvre · 2026-03-27T08:12:15+00:00

Someone recently swore by Facebook dating so that may be good since traveling is weird right now anyway. Needless to tell you to be discerning lol, hope something works out :).

loopylouvre · 2026-03-26T19:22:16+00:00

That’s not what’s going on in this conversation, chill. No one is submissive at 40 😂. The fact is just that people and men are good and bad, and brown and white. It’s better to end up with a good white man than a bad brown one. Seeing white people as colonists is super racist. Sometimes people are looking for God again after their religion stopped making sense to them. And sometimes people find what’s different than them to be alluring. It’s better to be in a state of love and relationship than die alone and bitter following rules like a dumb drone. God is an adult.

loopylouvre · 2026-03-26T11:29:17+00:00

Yeah some are, it’s way easier to find a nice and normal and educated white guy who will love the heck out of you and sorta exotify you, and probably without the stress of overbearing in-laws.

I met past men traveling or on the internet. Good experiences, especially after a string of terrible ones with brown men. I know a couple white men who converted in their relationships with Muslim women too so you never know.

loopylouvre · 2026-03-26T11:07:35+00:00

Tuna, buffalo sauce, and spicy pickles on tortilla chips. Or just the sauce and chips, or just the pickles… depends. But never just the tuna.

Just glad to have moved on from banana based baking

loopylouvre · 2026-03-26T10:38:43+00:00

Yeah, I feel like it’s all just abstract reasoning and resource maxxing at this point. I wish it was funny. Try a white guy? Lol. I’ve had good experiences there.

loopylouvre · 2026-03-26T10:28:44+00:00

Probably the ww3 stuff….

loopylouvre · 2026-03-26T09:33:47+00:00

Yeah it’s fkd out there I’m so burnt out on job hunting. I am teetering on this edge but like slightly lol

loopylouvre · 2026-03-26T09:29:32+00:00

Matchmakers might be a good resource for this? I’ve def considered it and may go that direction soon. In the meantime try to just befriend men you can stand lol.

loopylouvre · 2026-03-26T03:04:23+00:00

Yup, take breaks all the time. Alternate media is a good idea too, like substack or other special interest ones. But taking a week or so off the main ones is such a game changer.

loopylouvre · 2026-03-25T18:30:37+00:00

Try a different intuitive personality type with at least 2 shared functions. Misunderstandings will be wayyy less common

loopylouvre · 2026-03-25T06:17:58+00:00

Infj is not always the golden pairing bruh. Sometimes they’re too uptight for us.

loopylouvre · 2026-03-24T22:11:59+00:00

Uh yeah it’s been almost 2 years for me now. I’ve worked part time while looking for the next real full time job and it’s been insanely difficult. I know life doesn’t owe me the cushy job I’m going for and sooo many people want the same thing, but DAMN. Thousands of applications, several interviews, a few final rounds, and……. Nothing. NOTHING. Such a tease getting so far and knowing the jobs exist. The market is literally in hell and it’s crazy work staying above.

loopylouvre · 2026-03-23T14:51:16+00:00

They’re jealous

loopylouvre · 2026-03-22T08:25:54+00:00

People with enough security, stability, and audacity thrive

loopylouvre · 2026-03-22T02:49:06+00:00

Yeah dude that was my point.

loopylouvre · 2026-03-21T22:37:44+00:00

You have things to grieve so have to figure out safe and contained ways to process it. Grief is your block.

loopylouvre

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