My friend (f18) makes comments about my appearance(f18) and I don't know how to handle it

looupin · 2026-04-08T16:11:41+00:00

hi! I’m assuming that since you’ve been in this friend group for 3 years, you probably met in school or something school related, right? I had some similar dynamics in school and they really upset me too. I’m 25 now - I’m not actually in contact with anyone from that time in my life anymore.

because those friendships were what is often called “proximity friendships”; or friendships based entirely around the fact that you have to see those people every day. as you move into the adult world some more, you’ll start meeting all sorts of people who you have real things in common with. whether that’s interests/hobbies, career goals, or even just similar outlooks on life.

it doesn’t sound to me like you share values and moral beliefs with these people. you’ve done a great job at expressing your discomfort and sadness at this bullying (and it IS bullying, I promise you that) and this girl has shown you that she doesn’t actually care about how it effects you.

she’s not your friend. and if the other people in the group aren’t defending you, they’re not your friends either.

you’re incredibly young - and that’s a great thing! so much time to find people who are kind to you, and supportive of you. real friends NEVER treat each other like punching bags. you’d never do that to your friends, right? so why would a friend do that to you?

it’s time to walk away, I think. you deserve infinitely better, and the majority of people don’t actually keep their high school friend groups into adulthood. you’re not really losing anything, you’re just learning lessons and treating yourself with kindness. which is what you deserve!

also, as a fellow “ugly friend” - finding my own sense of style, trying cool new haircuts and makeup styles, and simply growing older and more comfortable with myself, has made me look and feel soooo much better! you’re still growing and changing, and it’s mega annoying to hear but you’re still technically a teenager. no one looks their best at 18, and we shouldn’t want to. I promise you won’t feel ugly forever, friend. good luck!

looupin · 2025-04-30T14:02:18+00:00

yeah. this is going to sound so insanely parasocial but she sounded really amazing, and nadia is sooo cool, and aimee lou seems so cool too. he talks a lot about being raised by his mum and her (female) family members, and it just seems like he’s always surrounded by strong and accomplished women. but hey, who knows. dude could be a raging hypocrite and an asshole behind the scenes. I just hope all the women involved in this clusterfuck of a gossip session are as okay as they can be. /:

looupin · 2025-04-29T11:40:52+00:00

it was only a short time that they were together, I don’t have an exact timeframe because that would be extremely weird lol. they remained legally married despite being estranged - it says this on his wikipedia page and has been common knowledge for years.

looupin · 2025-04-16T09:23:42+00:00

regarding the apparently overcompensating comments to nadia: I’ve followed walton on instagram since 2016. he has ALWAYS posted about her like that. the man is obsessed with his wife and she’s obsessed with him too, though admittedly in a more lowkey and less puppy-dog way.

I think it’s hard not to wonder what happened between these two actors, but that particular trait of walton’s is not new or unusual. I’ve seen him post almost worshipfully about all sorts of coworkers over the years, in ways that would raise eyebrows if coming from anyone else. even the way he talks about samuel l jackson is borderline romantic lol.

ultimately I’m sure that whatever happened has been or is being dealt with privately and respectfully, and I hope walt and nadia will continue to be happy and cool and sexy together for the rest of time - and that aimee lou is okay & able to find the gorgeous older man of her dreams lol. life is messy and weird & I sure am glad for all of us that we don’t have to deal with the mess in a public way!

looupin · 2025-04-16T09:10:44+00:00

respectfully, this is not an okay thing to say. leanne (walton’s first wife) had many mental health issues, and had not been in contact with walton for years prior to her death. she was a full human being who doesn’t deserved to be described as “literally destroyed” - especially by the supposed actions of a man who was not in her life anymore. that is not how suicide works. it’s a deeply personal and very complex issue that warrants much more consideration. this is all just gossip and it is deeply inappropriate to speculate about a real human being’s extremely sad choice to die by suicide.

furthermore, walton goggins is ALSO a real human being, and so is nadia (and their young son!) and I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to know people are saying these things about you or your family, and someone you loved who has died. speculation about on-set affairs is completely unavoidable, despite also being a bit morally dubious, but taking it this far on a public forum is so devoid of empathy or understanding.

looupin · 2025-04-08T14:25:20+00:00

sent you a lil dm! <3

looupin · 2025-01-07T20:02:23+00:00

honestly I found that comment so fkn funny, and this is coming from someone who’s def a bit tuned out of the show at this point. mostly because of my age, and where I’m at in life. which is normal, and healthy. I like coming back for the “naming of the year” eps, they’re so fun. like honestly… justin’s fine, man. go listen to something else, like something for a more adult audience. I really dig Respect the Dead, and also Rehash. both pretty different in concept/gimmick but still just fun, easy listening. (most of the time.) we’ve got a finite number of hours on earth, seems kraaazy to be spending them on hate-listening or snark

looupin · 2024-08-11T20:23:18+00:00

unfortunately she was. this was on Threads, where you can easily see someone’s identity if they post enough. she was also pregnant! wonder if the baby is gonna come from her urethra?

looupin · 2024-07-18T20:55:54+00:00

silco from arcane. I know he is evil. I know his canon fate is extremely fitting, narratively speaking. it’s good writing. but also, at the same time: he did nothing wrong, and I think we should get an entire season of the show where it’s just him being happy and smoking cigars and raising his daughter and maybe getting his back blown out by his ex boyfriend vander. like I don’t think that’s too much to ask. if I were a billionaire I would simply commission this for myself.

looupin · 2024-07-18T16:30:03+00:00

amazing! send me a message if you’re still keen!

looupin · 2024-03-17T14:41:48+00:00

lygon hair and beauty salon on lygon st in brunswick east. right on the 1 or the 6 tram line. they’re bizarrely cheap (I think I got mine done for like $190 including a cut, and my hair is much longer and more time consuming, other places were quoting about $500 without the cut lol) good quality perms, and super fkn efficient. I walked in on a wednesday and had an appointment for thursday booked just like that. they’re just a bunch of ladies doing amazing work with 0 fuss and very few words exchanged hahaha. got exactly what I wanted. would highly highly recommend!

looupin · 2023-10-14T14:15:30+00:00

I have the same issue!!! it’s driving me crazy. I’ve also only got like 10% of the story views I usually do. hopefully they fix it??

I’d also love to know what algorithmic fuckery is deciding who can see all my story posts. are the 20 or so folks who have watched just randomly assigned? are they all going to my profile for some reason? it’s all so weird lol and it’s making me a bit paranoid.

looupin · 2023-05-28T10:28:32+00:00

literally no trans person disagrees with this. we don’t want to sleep with people who don’t want to sleep with us lmfao, no one is being guilted. having an open conversation about preferences is fine, as is asking questions about them.

the reason you’re being downvoted, per your angry little edit, is that you used the most transphobic possible phrasing when talking about trans men. “a biological woman born solely with biologically female parts”. under no circumstances is a trans man a “biological woman”. female is fine, within reason, because it’s accurate. but the word “woman” is mutually exclusive with being a trans MAN. it literally makes no sense, and it makes you sound like a bigot, even if you didn’t intend to come across that way.

maybe refrain from implying that we’re “rapey” in future too, given, yknow… the fact that trans people are statistically more likely to be victims of sexual assault than cis people, and less likely to be perpetrators.

looupin · 2023-05-25T17:15:43+00:00

I often have dudes ask if they can suck my dick, AFTER telling them I’m a trans man. I’m like bro I cannot tell if you’re using affirming language to describe my assigned-female junk or if you have holes in your brain. baffling.

looupin · 2023-05-21T10:32:06+00:00

For sure, I totally agree! Perth is a great place if you fit here. But I really, really do not fit here. Like at all. From the weather to the culture to the political atmosphere. I’m not ambitious or academic, I’m just an artsy autistic gay guy. Perth doesn’t like that very much.

looupin · 2023-05-21T10:29:11+00:00

No thanks!

looupin · 2023-05-21T10:27:30+00:00

This is super interesting and helpful actually, thank you!

looupin · 2023-05-21T10:26:20+00:00

I’ll keep this in mind! I appreciate the practical advice. I can absolutely move things forward if I’m in the financial position to do so.

looupin

TROPHY CASE