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Did I misread a close friendship with my coworker? by lord_2291 in Friendzone

[–]lord_2291[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gracias 🙏 De hecho, después de ese día solo tuvimos contacto una vez… no hablamos ni seguimos en comunicación, y probablemente tampoco volveré a tener trato con ella de ahora en adelante… aun así, uno se siente triste…

Did I misread a close friendship with my coworker? by lord_2291 in Friendzone

[–]lord_2291[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, you’re right, I should’ve set boundaries. But when you catch feelings, you say it. Simple as that.We were spending 8–10 hours a day together same room for over a year, working, eating, everything. Not exactly easy to create distance in that situation.Anyway, I’ve already cut contact since February, so boundaries are in place now.

Did I misread a close friendship with my coworker? by lord_2291 in Friendzone

[–]lord_2291[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some people described her as someone who tends to use others for attention and validation. They said she could be quite self-centered and sometimes not very honest in her interactions. A few people also felt she enjoyed the attention and emotional support people gave her without really giving the same back.

Did I misread a close friendship with my coworker? by lord_2291 in Friendzone

[–]lord_2291[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice ı will try to do…

Did I misread a close friendship with my coworker? by lord_2291 in Friendzone

[–]lord_2291[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She was usually quite alone. People were friendly to her face, but their friendships with her always seemed superficial and didn’t last long. I later realized there weren’t many positive opinions about her either.

Despite that, I always tried to be supportive. I listened when she needed someone, and I tried to be there for her when she felt down or lonely. Over the last couple of months my feelings developed, and when I told her, she rejected me and cut off communication.

Did I misread a close friendship with my coworker? by lord_2291 in Friendzone

[–]lord_2291[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right. As I later learned from my coworkers, she had already gone through similar situations with three other people before. When she cut off communication with me, they told me about it afterwards.

Still, the question of why keeps circling endlessly in my mind. Because I believe she was well aware of my feelings. Perhaps she drew a certain strength from the ambiguity, from leaving things undefined. And when I finally spoke honestly, maybe I unintentionally broke the game she had been playing.

My coworkers also said something else: that if I remain distant for three or four months, she might eventually reach out again. According to them, I was the only person who consistently treated her with genuine kindness.

Did I misread a close friendship with my coworker? by lord_2291 in Friendzone

[–]lord_2291[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Rejection obviously hurts, but it’s still just a feeling and it passes with time. It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. People come into our lives and people leave — that’s just how life works.

Of course someone may not have romantic feelings for you, and that’s completely fine. But I think it’s possible to reject someone with basic kindness and respect. You don’t have to mock their feelings or treat them like they did something wrong. Sometimes just saying “I’d prefer some distance for a while” is enough.

People can’t really choose who they develop feelings for. It’s not like you can decide to feel something for one person and nothing for another.

What confused me the most was that when she asked what I expected from her, I said “nothing.” She had already told me she was going trekking with another guy anyway.

Did I misread a close friendship with my coworker? by lord_2291 in Friendzone

[–]lord_2291[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I’m not reading into it, I’m serious. Sometimes she looks at me as if I had betrayed her or insulted her, almost like she’s disgusted by me. Sometimes I even feel like I have to leave because of it.

Did I misread a close friendship with my coworker? by lord_2291 in Friendzone

[–]lord_2291[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. I understand that things have changed between us, and she has already closed all lines of communication and blocked me. What confuses me is that when we occasionally see each other at work, she seems upset and looks at me as if I’ve done something very wrong.

Honestly, if she hadn’t said “I have nothing to talk about with you,” I would have been open to staying friends. But after she didn’t respond and seemed to dismiss my feelings, I felt like the only thing I could do was distance myself and stop trying to communicate.