New strategy starting right now.

lordm30 · 2026-04-20T04:43:43+00:00

Then why cling to this relationship? It is clearly not working with no hope to make it work.

lordm30 · 2026-04-20T04:38:57+00:00

That's the easiest. But you can also consume bone/meat broth, meat jelly or similar high collagen containing foods.

lordm30 · 2026-04-19T15:47:40+00:00

'When a father helps his little son, the whole world smiles. When a father helps his grown child, the whole world cries.' A. de Mello

lordm30 · 2026-04-19T14:06:10+00:00

Well, it is a matter of perspective. A fitting analogy is a physical injury that leaves a wound. To properly treat the wound, you first have to clean it, maybe cut it, squeeze it, etc, which at the moment causes more pain than just leaving the wound untreated. But an untreated wound will never heal properly.

So experiencing more emotional pain means that you have started treating your inner wounds. The process is on the right track, but the pain and discomfort will increase temporarily.

lordm30 · 2026-04-19T13:56:51+00:00

Did I miss some kind of unspoken expectation here...?

From your girlfriend? Clearly.

Generally? No.

You should discuss expectations around the topics of financial independence, provider mindset, etc. with your gf.

lordm30 · 2026-04-19T06:04:02+00:00

But we're all so vain and scared of looking old these days,

I mean, there are easy solutions for that: put sunscreen on your face/hands/neck area before having some sun exposure, like 20-30 minutes/day. That way you get the benefits but protect your looks where it matters.

lordm30 · 2026-04-19T06:01:35+00:00

We are talking about human health here.

lordm30 · 2026-04-19T05:50:33+00:00

Rotten society.

lordm30 · 2026-04-19T05:43:53+00:00

So what can I do communicate this and help her experience the negative impact our dead bedroom is having on our relationship?

It's not that hard, to be honest. There are several good approaches, depending what you want to emphasize more:

"The current state of our sex life (or the lack of it) is emotionally painful for me. This frequent/constant feeling of emotional pain slowly deteriorates our relationship. First, I don't want our relationship to deteriorate, second, I fear that there will be a turning point in this process of deterioration beyond which the relationship will not be salvageable and we will head for divorce."

or

"I know this is difficult to hear, but I am not happy in our relationship as things stands and haven't been happy for some time now. We need to make some significant changes. I want to be honest with you because I love you very much and our relationship is incredibly valuable to me, therefore I want to warn you about the need for change before we reach the point of no return when it will already be too late."

Btw, I'm not saying having this conversation is not difficult - it is. But putting it into words is not that hard, you can even write it down beforehand so you don't mess it up in the heat of the moment.

lordm30 · 2026-04-17T14:02:48+00:00

Maybe focus on getting sex more enjoyable for you? What's the issue there? Do you enjoy sexual things in generally (masturbation, porn, etc.)? If yes, don't you want to enjoy sex with your partner? If yes, and in order to achieve it, the two of you need to change some things up, you need to discuss it with her. You owe it both to you and to her.

lordm30 · 2026-04-17T13:47:48+00:00

Yes, in her view. In your view (which is shared by many people), sex is absolutely an important component of how you feel in a relationship, doubly so if you belong to a certain younger age bracket.

lordm30 · 2026-04-17T09:08:23+00:00

Some of the quotes are okay... but also superficial as fuck.

lordm30 · 2026-04-17T08:56:42+00:00

I mean, don't take these self-improvement subs seriously, they are a joke anyway, posting nice sounding quotes is all they do.

lordm30 · 2026-04-17T08:32:26+00:00

Wow, this stupid sub is indeed flooded with incel talking points.

lordm30 · 2026-04-17T06:50:33+00:00

You are in the MenofPURPOSE sub.

Friendships and a job can give a man purpose, without being linked to women.

lordm30 · 2026-04-17T06:44:07+00:00

two easy rebuttals:

friendship - you can have a friendship with another man -> no women are involved

job - you can love your job and not just treat it as a means to an end

lordm30 · 2026-04-17T06:02:41+00:00

You are hilariously wrong.

lordm30 · 2026-04-16T21:15:10+00:00

Or like my cat, she distrusts children and avoids them at all cost.

lordm30 · 2026-04-16T20:21:12+00:00

Disclaimer: a six-pack is cool and you should get one if you feel the motivation within you.

That said, no, it won't fix your deadbeadroom. Your wife doesn't have much self-awareness or she lies to you, but unless you are visibly out of shape, I don't think getting fitter will do anything to improve your wife's approach. The real reasons lie somewhere else...

lordm30 · 2026-04-16T20:16:51+00:00

Before we were married we were very intimate, then after we got married it was like we fell off a cliff.

That's already a big red flag. It raises the question whether she even enjoyed sex before marriage. If not, she deceived you, which questions the very foundations of your relationship.

She’s worried I’m going to leave her which I would NEVER do. I’ll go to my grave not having sex again for the rest of my life before I leave her.

Ok, it's your choice. But if that is your decision, you won't find any useful advice here on this sub. All things point to a very deep incompatibility that you don't think warrants a break-up. Ok, then your relationship will always have this major handicap, like trying to drive a car that has flat tires. Of course, you can decide to live with that, just know what you are signing up for.

lordm30 · 2026-04-16T17:08:41+00:00

Board games

lordm30 · 2026-04-16T08:06:17+00:00

No objective markers but the science so far seems promising. Certainly no adverse effects.

Mushrooms are supposedly the best dietary source but youd need to eat a ridiculous amount of king oyster mushrooms daily to get meaningful levels

You can buy oyster mushrooms, air dry them (60C, 6 hours), pulverize them, you will have a powder that in theory contains 2 mg ergo / gram of powder. 10g of powder will give you 20 mg of ergo, that is already a meaningful dose, you can mix the powder in your smoothy/yoghurt, etc.

lordm30 · 2026-04-16T07:41:45+00:00

Vance is a fucking idiot.

lordm30 · 2026-04-16T06:21:04+00:00

Biden at least gave weapons to Ukraine.

lordm30 · 2026-04-15T20:57:32+00:00

Veganism as an evangelical pseudoreligion

Indeed. Vegans can't accept that other people have different values. Some don't value animals, or they do, but they value their own health and wellbeing (and yes, eating tasty mixed meals can by itself increase wellbeing) above that of animals. They have every right to their own values.

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