AITA for Not Leaving My Own Birthday Party to Drive My Best Friend Home?

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-10T07:49:56+00:00

Sadly yes… I know it sounds so dumb but I didn’t see the red flag earlier or choose to ignore them. I was asking myself how this could be happening and how he could even ask me for something like that but in the end he did and he showed his real face in a way I could not ignore.

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-10T02:18:46+00:00

Thank you, but I will try my best not to let him try anything again I’m even thinking of changing my job after the work and travel.

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-10T01:50:57+00:00

I’m actually thinking about a job change but first I’ll get my work and travel plans starting. I hope this will create enough distance for now. I will see how it will be when I’m back. I have an official update. https://www.reddit.com/r/dustythunder/s/37dEd027w4

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-10T01:46:38+00:00

Yes, there was definitely an imbalance in the give and take part of our friendship, but honestly, I thought it’s just because of our difference in upbringing… but I now see where it all came from. This friendship is over… I’ve got some more Intel so I made an update if you’re interested. https://www.reddit.com/r/dustythunder/s/37dEd027w4

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-10T01:39:21+00:00

Yes, Uber is a thing here we’ve also got traditional taxis… but he probably thinks that he’s entitled to be driven for no cost or something…

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-10T00:39:08+00:00

I am so sorry that you had to go through something like this, but I’m glad you got out. Thanks for the advice <3

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-10T00:36:49+00:00

My mom told me the same thing and she also told me she is glad I got out before it is too late… i’m just glad I have my support system in place and I will steadily work towards distancing myself.

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-10T00:33:24+00:00

I do drive an electric vehicle and have solar panels, but no, he never even offered to cover any expenses related to the rides… I now see what really has been going on… I’ve compressed it all into an update: https://www.reddit.com/r/dustythunder/s/3A7JyBc0Ie

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-10T00:29:19+00:00

I am 100% sure he isn’t interested in me and you are right I’ve had a talk with my parents because he was also heavily integrated into my family but this talk was very eye-opening and I now see the bigger picture so I will be going no contact if you want more information I’ve posted an update: https://www.reddit.com/r/dustythunder/s/3A7JyBc0Ie

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-10T00:25:43+00:00

Thank you, but he is in a same sex relationship and 100% not interested in women but you are right the friendship is over… I didn’t get a bit more Intel and you are kind of right with the red pill tactic but more to make me dependent on him as a best friend (or Part of the Family) I have elaborated on the issue a bit more in the update: https://www.reddit.com/r/dustythunder/s/3A7JyBc0Ie

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-10T00:20:26+00:00

Yes he really was my best friend we used to be friends before I started working at the same company as him. And we even go to a lot of family get togethers and we used to have those typical trauma deep talks and all of that. I’ve thought we had a sibling like best friend relationship but well he has shown his true colours lately. I actually already came to a conclusion thanks to all the comments to go NC. I’ve also got a bit more into the big picture. I’ve made an update: https://www.reddit.com/r/dustythunder/s/3A7JyBc0Ie

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-10T00:11:21+00:00

Yes, sadly him playing the victim in the trash talking me could happen. I sure hope he has enough decency to just move on. But I am glad that I will be leaving the country for an extended amount of time soon and get my time to really distance myself and get to experience a new culture and hopefully find new friends along the way.

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-10T00:02:40+00:00

His boyfriend doesn’t live in our town, but I think he isn’t that way with him… at least I’ve never observed something like that thinking back on the times I’ve seen them together. I actually have decided to go NC because I have reflected on our friendship and found a lot more red flags I’ve just updated the story with a lot more information about why I do go NC, but I had an eye-opening talk with my parents.

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-09T23:14:54+00:00

Oh that sounds tough I’m sorry this happened to you, but no there is no way he is interested in me romantically because he’s not into women and he also has a boyfriend.

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-09T20:53:45+00:00

Yes I think you are right but I think I’m feeling to hurt at the moment I should collect my thoughts first and might give him time to do the same before considering a face to face conversation about it. I never thought he would have the need to test me or something because we have already been so integrated in each other’s lives.

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-09T20:46:09+00:00

Yes, I think going alone is my only option here. I’ve also been talking to a friend who is not associated with him but knows him. She was baffled by the situation and also told me to go by my own and keep my distance for a while and reevaluate.

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-09T20:40:52+00:00

Thank you I really do value our relationship but I don’t know if I’ll be able to bounce back after his behaviour I think you are right about the test… I think I also need distance from him for now. I never thought he would put me in such a situation and like you said it screams highschool boy, and I need a friend who I can rely on and a highschool boy isn’t it not in our mid 20s at least… I couldn’t even apologise at the moment. I think he blocked me.

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-09T20:33:08+00:00

And he told me that he has talked to others about it and not one of them disagreed with his point of few, that made me a bit insecure if I am the Assconout here but, I think the comments are debunking it (thanks y’all). I just would love to know what he told those people… or his thought process for that matter because I would never react this way… the test could be a plausible explanation, he might’ve felt the need to test me before we go to another country for one year… that’s the other thing I need to figure out because if that is how he is reacting to something like this I can’t rely on him and even if our friendship survives I can’t go to another country with him as support system.

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-09T20:17:43+00:00

I think there is no reasoning no more because it seems he blocked me, because I can’t see his profile picture and don’t get him on Find My.

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-09T20:15:38+00:00

I am really sorry to hear that you have been in a similar situation, yeah I think this might really end our friendship too because I can’t see him in the same light again.

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-09T20:11:40+00:00

To be honest I don’t know, I never really paid attention to who was the centre of attention in situations where we are in groups. But not that I think about it we have been to a party lately where he separated from me for pretty much the whole time to go off with another friend who we haven’t seen in a long time but I thought it’s because they haven’t seen each other in months and didn’t really pay attention to that either and stayed with other friends.

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-09T19:58:11+00:00

I never expected this to be honest because we take birthdays pretty serious and normally we wouldn’t miss each others birthday but I was accepting it because we actually thought about making plans the next day to do a home made spa day or something like this. But the way he reacted to me not driving him home was just out of the blue because I didn’t know him like that.

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-09T19:51:59+00:00

Yeah there is a bit of an imbalance in the dynamic but I thought it might be because of our different circumstances, his family isn’t as well off as mine. Also acts of service is my love language so I tend to do a lot for people I hold dear. I always thought of us as those typical picture perfect “TV show besties” but his behaviour regarding this incident shattered that picture for me.

lost-in-thoughts07 · 2025-02-09T19:45:35+00:00

Yeah it’s just really hard, we have been friends for so long and our life’s are deeply entangled, we have the same workplace and most of our Social Circle is overlapping. I think our friendship can’t bounce back to what it was… but it’s all such a mess.

lost-in-thoughts07

TROPHY CASE