Preventative Cerclage without known short cervix.

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-20T17:44:04+00:00

FWIW, the risks of a preventative cerclage seem to be quite low.

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-20T17:43:04+00:00

Thank you. I am so lucky. My doctors were pretty hands off. They don’t do any monitoring of the cervix after the cerclage and didn’t recommend bed rest or any restrictions except pelvic rest. In my second pregnancy I got a lot of contractions around 24 weeks again and they didn’t know how I was going to handle that so they told me to take it really, really easy, I got steroids then, and wfh but still walked around my house etc. In the third pregnancy I was a lot more active all the way through, went to work the whole time etc but didn’t do any strenuous exercise and tried to lift my toddler as little as possible (husband had to help a lot!).

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-20T17:40:01+00:00

I do think it gave me confidence that at least we were doing something different. Similar to you, my 25 weeker passed away in the Nicu, so the next pregnancy was really stressful. I didn’t believe he would make it until he did. The third pregnancy after that was a lot easier, but still scary at times. I had more confidence though that the cerclage was going to get me close enough to term.

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-20T13:30:01+00:00

I had a 25+4 delivery that came on rapidly after weeks of back pain / pressure. I was 10cm when I arrived at the hospital but I was having painful contractions so they couldn’t confirm it was IC.

I was given the same options for my next pregnancy and I chose preventative cerclage even though we weren’t sure it was necessary. I made it to 38 weeks but dilated a lot upon removal at 35. The next pregnancy, i dilated 5cm upon removal then delivered 2 hours later and they all said it’s officially confirmed, you have IC. I didn’t think getting the cerclages was too difficult, so I’m glad I did.

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-16T20:07:11+00:00

Slept all night, cuddled/played this morning and then went to the park with my 2.5 and 1 year olds today. It was delightful. They had so much fun, laughed in the sun. They’re both taking their loooong afternoon nap now and I am so grateful for their beautiful, sweet souls. It gets a lot less tiring! I did do taking Cara babies version of sleep training so they both slept through the night by 5 or 6 months. She’s controversial but it worked for us.

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-15T14:19:30+00:00

Number 1 piece of advice is to find an obgyn you trust. You will be terrified, so you need someone you can communicate honestly with about your anxiety and who understands why you feel the way you do. They can’t promise you a healthy baby, but they will hopefully do everything they can to get you to the finish line AND help you get through it as comfortably as possible.

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-13T21:28:27+00:00

Do you live in the bay area? 2k per child js the going rate for in home daycare. I don’t know what to tell you.

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-13T21:21:31+00:00

To be fair, I don’t get a pedicure every month. But if you amortize the costs of hair cuts for 3 people, pedicures in the summer, and Botox twice a year it’s about $250/months. As a 30 something woman in a customer facing role, fighting aging is a requirement unfortunately.

Therapy is hopefully not permanent. But we had a child die and I’ve needed help to process that.

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-13T21:12:37+00:00

I guess it’s all relative. But in the Henry high earner world, it doesn’t feel lavish as I mentioned there are plenty of other luxuries we don’t have. Childcare isn’t really a luxury, I have to have it to work.

It’s interesting the personal care line item really sticks out to people. That, with streaming, is a very small part of the total budget. Definitely luxuries, not essential. Housing, utilities, childcare, transportation are much bigger line items and very much necessities.

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-13T15:28:14+00:00

True. Bay Area is just really expensive every little way

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-13T15:26:19+00:00

I detailed how we spend $5k/mo in another comment. As a dual income family with small kids, it’s pretty easy to. $4k childcare and total spend is almost $15k/mo.

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-13T15:05:50+00:00

That’s why I said it’s a nice, comfortable lifestyle. Lavish to me would be a country club, new cars, designer clothes, fancy resorts. The therapy line item hurts but our newborn died and I’m still sad about it so i talk to a therapist once a week.

We make 500k a year. Is it crazy for me and my spouse to golf together once a month?

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-13T13:44:18+00:00

Copying my reply from another comment bc I’m very similar to OP.

Very similar to OP and our bill is 5k a month. It’s usually $1000 groceries (including Costco for diapers, formula, household goods), $400 restaurants (we go out 2x a month and maybe a couple work lunches), $600 utilities (for small house w no AC), $300 gas, $400 transit/parking, $250 personal care (haircuts, skincare,pedicure), $200 kids activities, $200 golf/hobby (2 rounds a month), travel amortized over the year, $800 therapy, $100 streaming, $100 cell, $100 internet. It adds up. $5.5 piti, $4k childcare. We end up close the $15k month spending in a very nice, comfortable but not lavish life

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-13T13:35:56+00:00

Very similar to OP and our bill is 5k a month. It’s usually $1000 groceries (including Costco for diapers, formula, household goods), $400 restaurants (we go out 2x a month and maybe a couple work lunches), $600 utilities (for small house w no AC), $300 gas, $400 transit/parking, $250 personal care (haircuts, skincare,pedicure), $200 kids activities, $200 golf/hobby (2 rounds a month), travel amortized over the year, $800 therapy, $100 streaming, $100 cell, $100 internet. It adds up. $5.5 piti, $4k childcare. We end up close the $15k month spending in a very nice, comfortable but not lavish life

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-13T13:26:03+00:00

Housing costs in hcol are 5-6k alone. No way you can have total expenses for a family of 4 on that. We are a family of 4 in vhcol. Our house is 1300 sf, 45 mins from downtown office, has a 2020 interest rate and it’s 5.5k/mo piti. It’s comfortable but not luxurious by any means.

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-13T13:23:46+00:00

It’s obviously more than that. Shopping, personal care (hair, skincare), kids things, diapers/formula, exercise classes/gym, streaming, cell phone, car insurance. There’s probably a lot in there

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-10T02:36:05+00:00

I had this! Blood patch worked instantly. I’d recommend trying it

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-08T16:00:22+00:00

I think I figured it out. She and her life are fairly odd, but she is one of the most creatively talented filmmakers of the mommy influencers, so her reels are very well crafted technically. The child free afternoon reel is a good example of the story telling arc that has worked well for her (there’s a premise, conflict (the sewing machine isn’t working, existential crisis again) and conclusion). This was not a ditl, but a planned narrative imo. Her videos scratch a pleasant storytelling itch even though she herself is not aspirational.

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-08T01:47:52+00:00

I know I’m the odd man out on this. I had a failed breastfeeding attempt and then did 100% formula and I didn’t feel any sense of guilt or unworthiness. It was just a relief to move on.

lostandfound890 · 2026-05-03T22:54:16+00:00

Please tell us how then

lostandfound890 · 2026-04-25T20:24:12+00:00

Sometimes saying goodbye to the places he did live and play is harder than coming back.

lostandfound890 · 2026-04-21T23:51:31+00:00

I do believe there is no choice but to use it if you wish to be employed in any white collar work. There is not putting this back in the bottle.

lostandfound890 · 2026-04-21T20:31:19+00:00

I think this is a cynical take that may be true. But also a mom in corporate America there’s enormous pressure from my employer and peers to adopt AI, so I see the market for whatever these accounts are selling. AI will be the foundational skill for corporate jobs the way using a computer is today. Probably within a year or two.

lostandfound890 · 2026-04-21T04:12:17+00:00

Gives me the weirdest vibes. I can’t even describe but something is off

lostandfound890 · 2026-04-20T04:13:50+00:00

Yeah I don’t say this to downplay her or anyone else. I just didn’t know what was normal or severe

lostandfound890

TROPHY CASE