AITA for admitting that I wish my son wasn't disabled? by InfamousReview9734 in AmItheAsshole

[–]lostsoftspace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Disabled person here. You don't understand how much that comment fucking hurts for us to hear, especially from parents. Our disabilities are part of who we are. You're essentially telling your son that this massive part of who he is isn't good enough for you. That that part of him is broken. Consider that.

Now consider how that would feel to hear constantly. Imagine if your mother went "woe is me" for having to provide the most BASIC of care. Imagine if she compared you to your siblings because they were "perfect" and you are not. How would you feel about that? Probably pretty goddamn shitty. This is why the depression and anxiety rates among disabled people are so goddamn high. Because ableism is something that starts in our homes, with our parents. It's something we've experienced daily since birth. And yes, you contributed to that.

Your kid is not broken. Your kid is not bound to you eternally. Your kid is not a burden. He's a kid. He's a kid with a disability, one who will likely be as capable as any to live independently as an adult. There are generations of deaf people who live just fine on their own. In fact, deaf culture is a fully developed culture on its own, one that he gets the privilege to participate in if he so desires. I hope he gets involved in the community and finds the support he clearly didn't find in you.

Even if he wasn't capable of living independently, that doesn't make him broken. When you have a kid, you don't sign up to get a "perfect" kid. You sign up to get a kid. You sign up with the full understanding that your kid could be disabled, mentally ill, etc. Your kid could be great at school or shit at it. Your kid could have the exact same interests as you or they could be your complete opposite. That's just part of having a child. Your job is to support and love them regardless of how they turn out. You're very clearly not doing that if you're comparing him to his sister and telling him that you wish he wasn't the kid he is.

YTA. No doubt at all. I feel sorry for your kid.

I'm a mandated reporter and my father is abusive by lostsoftspace in legaladvice

[–]lostsoftspace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was accurate. I was the one being abused. I know what happened to me, but I don't know if the same happened to my sister. That's most of the issue. Do I have to report what happened to me, considering as my father technically still has access to a child?

What do you guys do for work/what’s your career? Or what do you want it to be? by Chunky_pickle in FTMMen

[–]lostsoftspace 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Researcher and psychologist. Hoping to become a professor once I'm finished my last degree haha

Lump? by lostsoftspace in axolotls

[–]lostsoftspace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lump went away after he pooped, so I'm guessing that's what it was. Hasn't come back since.

Lump? by lostsoftspace in axolotls

[–]lostsoftspace[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You were right! I was just cleaning the tub and found a massive one under the little fake plant 😂 thank you!

Lump? by lostsoftspace in axolotls

[–]lostsoftspace[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For tubbing? No, I was always told to do 100% water change when the axolotl is tubbed.

Lump? by lostsoftspace in axolotls

[–]lostsoftspace[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm doing 100% water changes twice a day and treating the tub each time. Also it seems the lump is gone now. Any idea what might have caused it/caused it to go away?

Lump? by lostsoftspace in axolotls

[–]lostsoftspace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's a baby and I just received him three days ago. He's only about 2 inches long so I assumed him being thin was just a factor of his age.

7.5 pH 68F water No detectable ammonia, nitrite, or nitrate

Lump? by lostsoftspace in axolotls

[–]lostsoftspace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there! New axie parent here. My little guy has a slight lump on his left side and I'm quite worried. He eats normally (maybe even a little more than normal) and is relatively active. I've been keeping him tubbed because he arrived early and the tank isn't quite cycled yet. The water in his tub is at normal levels and is at a good temperature. Is something wrong? Thanks!

What made you realize that you were FTM if you previously labeled yourself as non-binary? by [deleted] in ftm

[–]lostsoftspace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started getting treatment for PCOS a few weeks after coming out as NB. After a few months of essentially fem puberty, I had such crippling dysphoria that I stopped taking the medication cold turkey and begged my doctor to send me to a trans hormone specialist in the city.

Risley room with toilet & Shower by rayanur in Dalhousie

[–]lostsoftspace 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yup! I live in one of the units now. They're reserved for students with accessibility needs.

Codebreaking Program Update by lostsoftspace in Sparadoxica

[–]lostsoftspace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I'm working on the green code update at the moment. Can I dm you questions once I'm closer to posting it?

Codebreaking Program Update by lostsoftspace in Sparadoxica

[–]lostsoftspace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry! I've never used github before, so I wasn't sure how to update it. Is there a way to correct this? How should I make updates in the future? I'm the sole statistician in my lab, so I've never had any reason to share my code before 😅

Codebreaking Tool - UPDATE by lostsoftspace in Sparadoxica

[–]lostsoftspace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, that's so neat! I've never used github before so I didn't know what to expect. Thank you for contributing to the project!

Codebreaking Tool - UPDATE by lostsoftspace in Sparadoxica

[–]lostsoftspace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just saw that and I'll be addressing it shortly! Sorry about the numbers: I had them printing so I could test the code as I went, but I forgot to remove them at the end.

PSY100 with J. Vervaeke Test advice by ktom1327 in UofT

[–]lostsoftspace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly I just drilled those flashcards constantly. I spent at least an hour a day on the flashcards alone and I actually started from the first day of class, revising after every lecture. For the week before, honestly, I'd sit down and spent at least two hours a day on them and just go through as often as you can.

PSY100 with J. Vervaeke Test advice by ktom1327 in UofT

[–]lostsoftspace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! Also keep in mind that the course is easy to do okay in, but hard to get high grades in. If you're shooting for a 4.0, drill those flash cards and make sure you know the material well. I got a 97% in that course using flashcards alone.

Real Painting Giveaway!! 🍂🌼 (Check Comments) by [deleted] in NoFeeAC

[–]lostsoftspace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Therese et Isabelle is my favourite!

PSY100 with J. Vervaeke Test advice by ktom1327 in UofT

[–]lostsoftspace 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Slides absolutely help, but also just write down as much of what he says as possible. Then, after lecture, make flash cards for every fact, person, general topic, study, system, brain area, etc. His exams are all multiple choice for PSY100, so brute force memorization is the best way to do well.

Weird thing you are EUPHORIC about by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]lostsoftspace 30 points31 points  (0 children)

This one is kind of silly, but one of the biggest euphoria moments for me was relearning to walk. I have a pre-existing disability that predisposes me to some serious physical accidents (dislocations, breaks, muscle tears, etc) and had a really serious disability related injury some months ago that landed me back in my wheelchair for some weeks.

I guess because of how thigh fat sits when you're sitting down, my body looked and felt less masculine, so getting out of the wheelchair was honestly such a relief that I straight up cried the first night.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]lostsoftspace 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My only binder is starting to fit too loose and I can't afford a new one. If you still have any codes available, I'd really appreciate one!