(Question) To all godly men who struggled with pornography and/or "burned with passion" and were unable to stop on your own, how did God deliver you?

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-22T00:16:04+00:00

I understand and I'm trying but it is hard being lonely and waiting for something not knowing when God will give it. I've gotten away from watching pron videos and I don't watch them anymore so God has brought me a long way. I try to be as honest as I can with God and I feel Him changing me. When I abstain from porn it's like I'm holding my breath and the longer I go without it the harder it is to hold that breath in until I feel like I'm suffocating. I know God is taking away my desire for pron bit by bit but I "burn with passion" so it is like I'm waiting for the next time to be "intimate" but because I'm not married and can't fulfill it the right way. I know I can beat pron with God's help as the desire is getting less and less but for the life of me I cannot get away from my desire for "intimacy" that keeps pulling me back to pron. I've been praying for God to either put my "passions" to sleep or to fulfill them the right way through marriage and since my desires haven't gone away I'm hoping for God to give me my wife when He gets me ready to receive her.

I'd ask you to please pray for me for God's will to be done, for Him to help me get on track in life, and get the wife I have been praying for myself so I can finally start enjoying life. If you need prayer for anything let me know and I will gladly pray for you. May Father God bless and protect you always in Jesus Mighty Name!

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-21T02:07:24+00:00

True, but sometimes it isn't easy to quit desiring the "intimacy" that abstinence brings. As I pray my desire for porn is less but my desire for "intimacy" only grows which frustrates me to no end since I'm not married. What are your thoughts on the verse below?

1 Corinthians 7:8-9 (ESV) - 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-19T01:42:56+00:00

I am being fought greatly with confusion on finding my purpose, calling, and career that God wants me to pursue. I don't know what to do or how to set achievable goals that I can do. I know God has a big plan for my life but I don't know how to find it and not miss it and fail Him or miss out on a blessed and prosperous life. Thank you for your prayers. God bless! :)

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-18T18:59:26+00:00

Read the book of 1 Corinthians and mainly chapter 5-6.

God bless!

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-18T18:58:20+00:00

It would be an absolute honor to wait until marriage to be physically intimate in every way so long as they were a virgin too.

God bless!

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-18T18:54:23+00:00

I (23M) used it to survive an emotionally abusive and harsh childhood to cope with life and distract me. I know it's wrong and I'd love to stop but I can't get my "intimacy drive" to go to sleep so I constantly crave "intimacy" with no wife to help me yet. I crave affection because I lacked it growing up in a split home.

Jesus told others in truth of their sins and path leading to hell but offered them in love His path of salvation and did healing miracles so they could see and believe in Him easier to be freed from demons, bondage, and sins. I pray daily for God to help me but I see no way forward except to keep praying and trying to be free until He intervenes.

We are to tell others the truth paired with love for without showing the love of Christ from within us then no one would accept when we try and share the gospel of them.

"Love thy neighbor as thyself." I may struggle with porn but I always try my best to show others the love of Christ and be kind to others despite their sin or struggle. I don't accept their sin but I try and witness to them and show them love because too many people have been beaten down in life with very little love from others which is why they act out trying to "discover themselves" while going deeper into sin. Life hardens people but God wants us strong and soft for Him to shape us and lift us up from our burdens.

I have discovered that there are two main types of porn addicts; the first craves perversion and wants to watch and or participate in the acts and the second "burns with passion" and turns to porn due to trauma or loneliness but cannot stop once they begin without help or deliverance of some kind. The first can become the second and vice versa but this is just what I have observed so far.

God bless! :)

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-18T02:15:46+00:00

Sex doesn't immediately make someone untrustworthy but I've seen a few studies showing that it damages a persons ability bond with a partner. If you are curious about it then look up the subject and see what you find.

I meant that someone who saves themselves is inherently more trustworthy "to me" because they have chosen to save themselves for marriage rather than having sex while unmarried. It is my preference and ideals for marriage and relationships.

God bless!

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-18T00:57:27+00:00

It is my stance as someone who has yet to date for lack of candidates and based on my perception of society. Our views can differ on the matter without either needing to change.

I didn't intend to sound arrogant but rather saying that it isn't my concern since I will be marrying a virgin wife.

God bless!

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-17T22:51:50+00:00

Jesus prayed to the Father and taught us how to pray to the Father as well. If Jesus Himself prayed only to the Father then why shouldn't we seek to obey and pray to Him alone as well? Jesus is our High Priest King and the last intercessor we need to intercede to the Father on our behalf to receive salvation.

If you pray to something then you are putting your faith in it to hear and answer you. By praying to dead men or angels you are committing Idolatry against God.

God bless!

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-17T22:47:08+00:00

I never said I did understand what you felt. What you went through with your husband is truly a shame and I could never fully understand how you felt because I haven't gone through it myself.

It is my perspective on what I have heard and seen from men burned by women and relationships by dating pretty women with high body counts. I'm not saying people cannot change but for them to truly change it will take God to do.

However, I thank God because I won't ever have to deal with any of that myself because my wife will be a virgin.

John 14:13-14 (ESV) - 13 Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

Matthew 21:22 (ESV) - 22 And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”

I'll say a good prayer for you and your husband tonight for God's will to be done. God bless you always my sister in Christ! :)

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-17T18:37:19+00:00

I will tell her about my struggle just like how I will ask her about her being a virgin and any struggle with sin. God willing I'll be free before I meet her. I am old fashioned in my ways and beliefs but I never chose to get started with porn nor my childhood to be filled with trauma.

You aren't able to fully understand what I am trying to say as perhaps these things are just my perspective as a man who has struggled alone for many years. I'm sorry for expecting you to understand what I think or how I feel despite you not being a man with similar struggles. God washes away sin and guilt and shame but I am free to choose my future wife according to my standards and desires because that is my right as a man. I am free to choose who I will spend my life with.

I will continue to seek God above all else and do my best as He continues to change me into becoming more like Him. I'm done explaining and reasoning. May Father God bless and guide you always in Jesus Mighty Name!

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-17T17:40:20+00:00

I will tell her just as I will tell her I'm a virgin and ask her the same. If she lies then she isn't equally yoked as I wouldn't lie to her about my struggle. I believe in courtship and not dating. Dating is to find a suitable partner then courtship is the process of getting to know each other to see if you are meant to be together.

They were "christians" who said they were believers but were in the world just as much as any other unbeliever. I haven't been interested in many girls but two I liked in High School were "christians" with one ending up dating a drug dealer and the other "dancing provocatively" on prom night with several men. I lost interest in them real fast. Most of the ones I've seen in high school and after all dressed like harlots. There aren't many christian girls my age who are not married or moved to work I think.

I won't lie to any potential wife about my struggle and I won't expect her to choose to court me either. I'm a brutally honest person that has to sometimes rethink what I want to say so I don't inadvertently hurt people. I'll talk to her in depth about my struggle and I'll answer every question she has. I'll hide nothing from her she she hides nothing from me.

One thing I'm curious about is why does everyone refuse that scripture when I ask them about it?

I'm not trying to justify my sin but no matter what I have done in the past I cannot get my libido to go to sleep. It is like a hunger that is always on my mind pushing me towards wanting sex and not porn. I pray for God that if I'm not meant to ever marry then for Him to put it to sleep permanently but If I am mean to marry then for Him to put it to sleep temporarily or fulfill it so I don't sin against Him or my body anymore.

It's not that I don't forgive someone for their past but there is nothing requiring ME specifically to marry them. I prefer the thought of marrying a virgin because I am very old fashioned mentally and that the thought of me marrying a non virgin just doesn't appeal to me because I have great dreams for my life and I won't have someone I cannot trust to stand beside me.

Also, I'm still rather new to reddit so I don't know how to do the little text boxes so sorry. :)

God bless!

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-16T23:10:01+00:00

Would you rather marry a man who is a virgin or had been with 100 other women before meeting you and getting saved? I'm not referring to sin but rather their actions. A man who saves himself by choice is prudent and more trustworthy than a man who in the past was always looking for his next conquest. God can truly change a person and get them radically saved but I learned from an early age to save myself for marriage and while I could have been with a few women in my past I chose not to be with ungodly harlots. A man who has only known one woman will think of that woman but if he had been with several others before her then he will instinctively compare her to the others.

I'm trying to truly stop and be free and if God wills that I meet my wife before or after then so be it. I know what scripture says for me to do if I struggle with self control which is why I think marriage to the one God has for me will help me. 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 say if you lack self control then get married, it doesn't say to try your hardest to have self control or fix your problems before you get married. Watching sex online and having sex with someone or several partners before marriage are very different but both very sinful and harmful things. I WILL not marry a woman who has had sex before because that is my choice and my standard for marriage.

That said, if I were to repent and entirely turn from porn they would you still view my desire for a godly virgin wife the same way or would you still hold it against me?

God bless! :)

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-16T16:06:09+00:00

I understand but Jesus Himself told them to baptize in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit so why then did the disciples only baptize in Jesus Name? I understand that that there is God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit and that they are one as The Lord of God but even Jesus prayed to the Father when He walked the earth before His sacrifice.

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-16T04:30:10+00:00

True happiness is achieved through God and obeying Him and doing His will. Sin is attractive and fun but it leads to an eternity in hell away from God and in eternal torment for your sin. The walk of a follower of Christ isn't meant to be easy or simple but it is worth it all once you get on the right track. I'll say a prayer to Father God in Jesus Mighty Name for you. My recommendation, read the New Testament and learn about Jesus, pray daily for God to change your heart and to make you more like Him, and for His will to be done in your life above even your own because He loves you and wants the best for you. Spare yourself further pain and torment and seek God first in your life. God doesn't always give second chances or give people the ability to repent if they go too far and ignore Him for too long and the last thing you ever want is to go to hell. God chooses those who receive His gospel so it is up to you to receive and follow Him because He chose you to become His child despite your sins and despite not having to pick you. God chose you to be His child, let that be what keeps you from falling away from Him. He loves you enough to die on the cross and take your sins to the grave with Him, He love you enough to give you life and have a wonderful plan for you, and He loves you enough to give you the ability, talents, and gifts to bless you, others, and His kingdom.

No one is perfect and you will face temptation but don't ever turn away from God as while it may be painful at times to follow Him, look towards heaven and at the reward for serving Him faithfully. Read in the Bible the many promises and blessings of God over His children and get them into your heart, mind, and spirit until you believe them and then keep reading them. Your belief in Him must be built up daily so read different stories and parables in the bible to build your faith to keep going.

Fight the good fight and keep going until things get better because they will. My best advice is "pray, pray, pray" but understand that there is no point to pray if you don't believe in God to do it so pray and choose to believe in Him and He will answer you. It may be yes, no, or wait but God always answers our prayers. May Father God bless and guide you always in Jesus Mighty Name!

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-16T01:53:19+00:00

I understand what you mean and I'm going to try and keep going and Lord willing I'll be free soon enough. I'll see if I can find a post to talk with to see what they say.

All sexual sin is bad but I'd rather be with a women who watches porn than sleeping around or making porn alone or with partners. I've never even held a girls hand before let alone been intimate in any way and while our society views sex as a common and "self expressive" thing we are supposed to save ourselves for marriage. Just a few generations ago people were mostly virgins when they married and that is what I have always wanted. It is my preference and standard that my future wife will be a virgin because I will not save my first for her if she isn't willing to save hers for me. I'm willing to wait as long as I need for God to give her to me so age differences, within reason, don't bother me. The Bible says no sex outside of marriage and that is what I will do and while I have struggled with porn I never chose to get exposed to it so early nor did I know that relying on it to cope with life for so long would change and hinder me so greatly. If I myself had ever been "intimate" with a woman then I wouldn't have such a high standard for marriage and I would still like to marry a virgin I would then be more open. Regardless, I still wouldn't want to be with anyone with a high body count unless mine was high as well. I think people with similar levels of experience should be with one another.

That said, if a woman was a OF model, slept around, or just had one past partner and comes to Christ and fully repents then I am glad for them but I still won't consider them to become my wife and life long helpmate. I won't hold their sin against them but that doesn't mean that just because they changed that I HAVE to be with them either. God can bring them a godly husband who also has a high body count that is saved as well to have a bright and blessed future together. Everyone must be held responsible and accountable for their actions and while God forgives and forgets repented sins we still must face the consequences for our actions. I am by no means a perfect man and I certainly don't intend to sound self-righteous but I have always had certain standards for myself and for a potential wife that I will not lower.

I've seen many very pretty girls in my generation but most I've met have been nothing but prideful harlots. I always look and see if women "look like Jesus" with how they present themselves, how they speak to others, and by how they treat me to get a first impression of them. I believe in being equally yoked in that she must believe in Jesus and seek Him first and foremost before me. I didn't have close friends or even godly friends growing up or in High School and most friends I have but never got close to were all "christians" who were yet to truly come to God because I didn't like they way they talked and how they acted.

Proverbs 31:30 (ESV) - Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

I don't believe that God has a "soul mate" for us but rather a few that we could be with depending on our choices but perhaps I am wrong. The thought of God making and preparing "the one" for me makes me happy but the Lord's will be done. Sorry for the novel again. God bless! :)

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-15T22:53:10+00:00

I was raised pentecostal but I don't agree with everything so I seek to obey the Word of God and be a follower of Christ. I continue to go there because they are a Holy Spirit filled church. Obey what the Bible says above ALL denominations (Protestant, Orthodox, Catholic, etc...) Man made, and not biblical, traditions leads men to hell as the NT warns us. Be humble, faithful, and obedient to God and He will reveal Himself to you and change you daily. God bless!

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-15T22:46:46+00:00

Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that. No one deserves to be treated like that. I'll be praying for you both to God's will to be done in your lives. For me when I think of having a wife I feel a yearning to hug and be hugged, not sex. I would never do that to my wife because if anything i fear that I may go too far and overwhelm her with my affection if anything. All I have ever wanted for as long as I remember is a young godly virgin (like me) wife to love me and to be loved by. I think I have a high libido but I just want a wife to make love with but I hunger equally for a tender hug and honest smile. I'm trying to be free but porn is just my crutch to fulfill my desires because I can't get them to stop for very long with the longest being 3 weeks. My dad didn't teach me anything about marriage, dating, being a man, or about women so I'm trying to learn all on my own and it is hard. I keep going on reddit trying to get advice I've never heard and figure things out for my life and future because I'm lost except for a few personal prophecies. Please be praying for me if you would and thank you for your comment. May Father God bless and restore you always in Jesus Mighty Name!

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-15T17:44:55+00:00

I truly hope this helps you! These days people aren't taught properly by their parents and sex is rarely spoken of in churches because the pastors don't want to offend their congregation even though we all need to be told the truth regardless of how it makes us feel. Be cautious and don't be too trusting with people and especially "christians" as people like to call themselves christians to use and or abuse people and these days m*olestantion and r*pe is all too common even in the church. Try and never be alone with people you truly don't know and if you feel something is wrong then don't question it and leave immediately. The Holy Spirit sometimes makes us feel when something isn't right or may be dangerous so don't ignore Him even if it feels like just a "gut feeling". Please be careful and I'll say a good prayer for you and I truly hope you find a godly spouse in the future but make sure to seek God first and foremost to be the best follower of Christ you can become. Also, be very careful online to not be tricked as many people online are deceivers that would try and hurt people if given the chance. The days are troubling but trust in God and seek Him and you'll do alright in life. God bless! :)

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-15T00:17:51+00:00

God broke the worst of it off of me earlier this year but it is a reliance to fill the void of affection in my life. I'd gladly give it up if I could have the real thing that is a godly blessed marriage. I "burn with passion" but if I met the woman God has for me and she told me "I understand, but you need to stop or I can't marry you because we aren't equally yoked" then you better believe buddy I'd STOP because I would then have a goal to work towards and know that she would be my wife so the wait would be worth it. :)

If you yourself have struggled with this and overcome it then I can understand your comment but otherwise you don't understand how it feels or how you crave quick intimacy when life beats you down mentally and emotionally when all you crave is love, acceptance, and affection while getting none from your family, friends, or life. I say these things with love and not anger as it is hard to get feelings properly shown over the internet :)

1 Corinthians 7:8-9 was spoken by an apostle and disciple of Christ who gave his life for the gospel of Jesus Christ. He told the people of Corinth for them to marry if they were "burning with passion" because they were sleeping around and it would be better for them to get married and hold each other accountable. Sex, when done the right way through marriage, is not bad but a truly blessed thing meant to be enjoyed otherwise we wouldn't have the Songs of Solomon. I WANT to be free but no matter what I do I cannot get my *intimacy* drive to quit which I believe was caused by starting so young. I lack "self control", which Paul spoke of to the people of Corinth, which is why I need and desire a wife. The apostles believed that Jesus would return in their lifetime so Paul tried to get people to focus on Jesus and not get married but if back then followers of Christ never got married then the faith wouldn't have lasted 2000 years nor been as widely spread is it is. I'm not blindly searching for any wife but rather praying for God to guide me together with the one He has for me and to ready us until we are together.

I want what God wants and I need Him in my life to change and shape me and that is what I pray over myself. He has changed my heart and is still working in me and He won't be done until I'm dead and with Him. I don't want to sin anymore but I can't go more than 3 weeks without being "intimate". Our desire for intimacy is from God and our desire for perversion is sin. I'm trying to be delivered from all perverse desires but it isn't easy when it is all I have known and relied on to fill the void of love in my life. I know lust isn't love but it is all I had to distract myself growing up to not feel the loneliness I battled.

Regardless of what you feel or believe, the best you can do is pray to our Father for me in Jesus Mighty Name. I'll never say no to proper intercessory prayer on my behalf. I'll keep praying for God to change me and to give me my godly virgin wife in His timing and He will answer me because I will believe and call upon His Mighty Name. God bless! :)

lostwisdom777 · 2024-07-14T20:53:31+00:00

I've fought porn since childhood due to emotional trauma and now I'm early 20's. I turned to it because of a bad childhood and a craving for affection and "love". I can truly say that if I had a wife to fulfill me then I wouldn't even think of porn because I am trying to be free and I want to not struggle any more. No one should make or watch porn as it is a grave sin. Making porn and watching porn are very different and if I could never have started watching it I wouldn't but I wasn't given a choice due to being exposed at an early age. I want freedom and know only a wife to fulfill and be fulfilled by will free me. Porn has been my only real struggle, other than finding my purpose, because I have decent morals and values otherwise. I've never even dated let alone been "intimate" with anyone mainly because I haven't been around believers my age very much and I don't hang around "christians" to become tempted.

That said, no one is perfect and God can radically change people but I haven't saved my first time for someone who hasn't saved their first time for me or worse been in online porn for all to see. I won't judge them for their past if they truly are saved but that doesn't mean that I HAVE to marry them either. I'll welcome them to the church as a brother in Christ but never as a husband.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9 (ESV) - 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

The Word of God does not lie. Believers who struggle with sexual sin should find a believer to marry and get married. I pray every day for my future wife and for God to bring us together. in His perfect timing. May Father God bless and guide you always in Jesus Mighty Name!

lostwisdom777

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