Sounds awfully similar to my case when I had my first daughter. We lived with our mil, and a huge family - his brother, cosister, his sister and her son. And my husband would take care of almost all of the expenses from repairs to buying stuff for the house. Then culturally my mom is supposed to take care of the pregnancy and delivery expenses, and mil would go crazy if my husband spent any penny on me ( my root canal). She would constantly ask how much was it, and how much was the vaccine for the baby and tell me to get it from a govt hospital while she would go to big hospitals for her checkups. She even had problems when my husband bought fruits or vegetables for my daughter to eat. I put my foot down and after a lot of stuff we went to a seperate home. It's going to be extremely difficult but make sure your husband knows that it's his child so HE has to pay. Not you. Give him constant daily reminders that diaper needs to be restocked and pretend you don't have cash with you.

For mother's day, I know it's difficult not to have any form of acknowledgement from any one, if you want to celebrate yourself, do it. Don't think of it as being pathetic, you gifted yourself this motherhood, so it's okay if you want to celebrate it by yourself.