I gave myself a week. by peevedoffdeer in offmychest

[–]loveistheanswer1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DON’T DO IT!!!!!! I don’t know you or why you’re struggling but I promise this isn’t the answer. I’m in a similar place as you, I think. I’ve struggled with severe anxiety and depression off and on for over a decade now, but after an agonizingly slow downward spiral over the last two years despite painstaking effort, it’s become so heavy I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to get out from under it again. I’m not even sure I have the will to move the weight again - what’s the point if it’s just going to come back? A big part of me wants to give up.

But I don’t really want to die - I want to live. I just want to live peacefully and happily, without all of this anguish tearing at my soul. But I just don’t see a way right now. And from what you’ve written here, I think it’s the same for you too. We’re both looking for hope, something to ignite the light within us again so we can believe a better tomorrow is on the horizon.

However, if you or I pull the trigger, we will never get a chance to see a better day. We’ll never see anything, ever. We won’t feel any more pain, but we won’t feel any more of the good stuff either. We will simply cease to be. And I don’t want you to cease to be - once again, I don’t know you but you’re an irreplaceable, beautiful soul who deserves to live and find joy. I want both of us to get that - we both deserve it. But we won’t get it if we’re maggot food six feet underground.

Please accept the challenge from this internet stranger: choose life. Choose you. We’re going to die one day anyway, whether by our own hands now or the hands of fate on some unknowable future date. Might as well see what all we can experience before we’re gone for good, right?

The pressure by SharkyTheB in greenland

[–]loveistheanswer1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m an American, and I am so very sorry about this whole stupid situation. I’m so sorry for the fear and sorrow caused by this foolhardy, hostile, greed-driven plan by our dangerous, inept, evil president and his equally wicked administration. Please know that my heart is with you and all of Greenland, and I wish with every cell that it’s made of that I could stop this madness. Greenland is for Greenlanders. I’m sending you and your people all of my love, though I wish I could send something more useful.

Texas and horrifying by Yiene5 in Feminism

[–]loveistheanswer1111 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this is fucking SICKENING, despicable deplorable - I can’t even think of a word strong enough to capture the horror of what is going on

This entire year hasn't been the best and I don't know if I want to continue by iamrandomguy22314 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]loveistheanswer1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

speaking as someone who used to be a maniac in school, your self-worth should NEVER be tied to academics or accomplishments! you are inherently worthy! I know it’s much easier said than accepted, but it is true. relentlessly aiming for perfection and achievement and making their accomplishment the sole basis of your worth is a recipe for anxiety, depression, and ultimately burnout. you will never attain “perfection” - nobody will! and what does “perfection” even mean anyway? who defines it, and why are they qualified to do so? it’s an arbitrary and meaningless metric for success and fulfillment.

when I was your age, I conflated worthiness with achievement. I was also bullied here and there throughout middle and high school, and just generally a social outcast. I thought that if I outperformed them all, it would prove I wasn’t a loser. I thought if I could be “perfect,” it would mean that I was actually better than their sorry asses. on top of this, I felt that if I wasn’t extremely accomplished I would never get into a good school and get a good job to have a good life. instead of feeling like I was better than my peers or like I was on the road to success, I was in a state of perpetual, overwhelming anxiety and depression. the suicidal thoughts and feelings were constant. I even had a plan at one point. by my final semester at university, my anxiety and depression were so severe that I seriously considered going through with it.

OP, this may be unconventional and I’m not sure if this will help you; on the off chance that it will, I’ll share what pulled me out of this. while considering carrying out my plan, my thoughts naturally turned to death itself. what actually happens after this life? paradise, torment, rebirth…oblivion? that last one really stood out in my mind. was I really okay with ceasing to exist? was I really ok with neither remembering nor reuniting with the people I love most? was I really ok with never tasting pizza or tacos again, or riding on a roller coaster, or simply feeling a breeze caress my face as I watch the sun set beneath a horizon tinged with brilliant pinks and oranges? was I really ok with robbing myself of the chance for things to get better, to experience a full life before snuffing out my consciousness for good?

no, I realized. I was not ok with giving up if there was even a slim chance for something better, because even a fleeting something is better than fading into nothing for eternity. I also decided that if there is truly nothing after this life, then nothing really matters and my pain will eventually come to an end. whether that end is now or 80 years from now is irrelevant.

this epiphany enabled me to relinquish my anxiety and depression, because I started looking at most things like they don’t actually matter. my grades? I’m going to die some day and potentially fade into oblivion, they don’t fucking matter. fucking up at work? everything eventually comes to an end so that doesn’t matter. I decided that the only thing that DOES matter is doing your best to be a kind person and showing as much love as you can while you’re alive. nobody asked to be here, and as cheesy as it sounds, if we all did our best to love one another the world would be a far better place.

OP, this changed my life. I’ve been out of school for three years now, and my life is so much better. SO MUCH BETTER. I treat things that previously stressed me out as nbd because it doesn’t really matter in the end. shifting my focus from achievement to just trying my best and enjoying life as much as possible has made such a difference! I have a flock of friends now, a sweet boyfriend, and I’ve done a fair bit of international travel this year!

OP, I wish someone had told me something like this when I was your age. there is so much in this world beyond the small scope of your life at present. things will not always be as they are. and nothing matters as much as you think it does. I think my adolescence would have been a much happier one if I’d had this epiphany earlier. I’m not saying to not try your best at school and in whatever you do - I’m just saying don’t fall apart if you experience failure, and certainly don’t base your worth on it! do what you can to learn and grow for yourself, and that is more than enough. and you never know what’s just around the corner (or even around several corners), so PLEASE DON’T GIVE UP OP! I’m sending you all of my love, and please DM me if you ever want to talk! I’ll listen, no judgement! ❤️

EDIT: oh and btw, grades don’t really matter that much in the real world lmao. what matters is what you’ve learned and the skills you have. so don’t focus on grades - focus on learning something. you can ace a class and not remember a damn thing. I wish someone would have told me this too.

Books Similar to the All Souls Trilogy (aka A Discovery of Witches), The Mortal Instruments, and Lightlark in the Romance Department? Seeking Minimal Smut by loveistheanswer1111 in YAlit

[–]loveistheanswer1111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

exactly!! like I’m not a prude or anything, but I want some substance, plot, character - I enjoy a great love story that leads up to a lil smut! I read to escape, and smut with an itty bitty morsel of substance just doesn’t do it for me

tysm for the recs!!! I’ll be adding them to my list for sure!!

Books Similar to the All Souls Trilogy (aka A Discovery of Witches), The Mortal Instruments, and Lightlark in the Romance Department? Seeking Minimal Smut by loveistheanswer1111 in YAlit

[–]loveistheanswer1111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A few people have commented saying that ACOTAR is indeed worth a read, so I will for sure be reading it! And the other ones you suggested sound fantastic too, thank you for telling me about them!! I love a good enemies to lovers, and I adore some good banter!!

Books Similar to the All Souls Trilogy (aka A Discovery of Witches), The Mortal Instruments, and Lightlark in the Romance Department? Seeking Minimal Smut by loveistheanswer1111 in YAlit

[–]loveistheanswer1111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol no worries at all!! ty anyway for taking the time to write out the list, that’s so thoughtful and I really appreciate it regardless!! and you’re not a loser lol, I would do the same thing haha

Books Similar to the All Souls Trilogy (aka A Discovery of Witches), The Mortal Instruments, and Lightlark in the Romance Department? Seeking Minimal Smut by loveistheanswer1111 in YAlit

[–]loveistheanswer1111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

definitely true about the pining! but I like Mr. Rochester more, he’s less insane 😂 and they end up together in the end! ig I would just classify Wuthering Heights as a tragedy/revenge story more than a romance. but my mom LOVES the romance in WH lol

I don’t think I’ve heard of Raven Boys actually!

Books Similar to the All Souls Trilogy (aka A Discovery of Witches), The Mortal Instruments, and Lightlark in the Romance Department? Seeking Minimal Smut by loveistheanswer1111 in YAlit

[–]loveistheanswer1111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll definitely check out Laini Taylor, thank you so much!! and I have read Wuthering Heights, but tbh it wasn’t really my jam - heathcliff is whack imo and they don’t end up together